Need Online Dating Advice

[aeterna789]

After a particularly devastating rejection by a girl I really liked, I finally admitted to myself that I needed help and I don't want to be the 'Nice Guy' anymore. Found myself in this forums. That was 3 weeks ago and since then I've been learning a lot from both forum posts and the DJ bible.

Since I'm generally bad with women, I decided to try online dating as a stepping stone to improve my self confidence and attempt to apply most of what I've learned.

With regards to online dating guidelines, I've been following this article and so far I've successfuly gotten enough email / message responses from several girls (those that I actually like).

I've been chatting with these girls for a while and I think I've got their interest but now I need help. Here are some of my questions:

1. How long should we be communicating before I ask them out on a proper date?

2. Would it be better if its a regular date or an action date?

Go easy on me, I'm very much willing to learn and I've been working really hard on improving myself. Thanks! =)

 

[El Payaso]

Since you're still a recovering nice guy, I would say it's better to get the phone number first before asking out on a date. Not that the former wouldn't work but just my advice. When you get the phone number, don't text right away. Wait about 3 days then text her for a bit. After a bit of rapport and follow up, ask her out.

As you get more comfortable with OLD, you'll get to the pint where you can even ask them out that very night or day.

I'd recommend regular date like drinks or coffee. Something light just to get to know the person so you don't waste to much money on a bad date.

 

[aeterna789]

Ah, great tip. I actually got 3 dates planned in the next couple of weeks. Any advice that I should know? Already read Gray Fox's Guide to the first Date. Anything else I should know about?

 

[aeterna789]

Come to think of it...that is a pretty good advice, though I have to tailor it a bit to fit my locality.

Where I'm from, it still has a bit of conservatism left and most, if not all the women I met online are hesitant to meet.

I'll keep updating this post as I go along.

 

[soden]

Don't wait 3 days after you get the girls number!

They got hundreds of messages and always remember you are neither the first nor the last they are giving their number.

I suggest you wait the same time you need to replay to their messages. Or lets say you get the message with the number in the evening than just wait till the next evening maximum!

Your goal is to get the first date as fast as possible. You have to pull them of the net and meet in real life!

If you actually had your first date its time to slow things down especially on weekends!


Edit: And just go for drinks/coffee in the afternoon/early evening or a walk in park. Ive got a dog so I always go for the walk.. In my opinion there is no problem if you pay for the drinks if you got the feeling that the vibe was good/great.

 

[aeterna789]

soden and Espi, your advices has been instrumental. After reading those, I gathered up the courage to ask all the girls i've been emailing for numbers and date request. Most responded. I'll update this again once I get through the first few dates.

 

[aeterna789]

Well I've met with some and I think it went really well with one girl. We had our first date and went jogging the next day (her initiative). It's been a week now, and we've been exchanging a few messages here and there, not to often though.

Any advice on when I can try and set up another date?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

How long should you be communicating before asking her out?

First message. Seriously. Stop wasting time.

"Hey there! I like your pics and profile, you seem like you'd be a cool person to get to know better, we should grab a drink sometime and talk more in person.

I'm xxxxx"

Either it will be a positive response or likely no response. It cuts out a lot of BS and generates results, well based on how good your pics are.

Then get the number.

Text the next day, a first text, then answer her response and ask what her schedule is. Then wait til she let's you know, wait a few hours and then CALL her and set up a date within 5 mins and get off the phone. Do NOT contact her at all until you meet up.

The end...rinse and repeat.

Chance favors the bold.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Online Dating Isn't the Cure to Your Woes

Online dating should only be used as a compliment to what you're doing in the field. Just because you're meeting chicks online doesn't mean that problems you already have will automatically disappear. I suggest that you get your in field game up, then focus with online game.