"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Need help with shy 19 yr old hb9

timmylivingalie

Senior Don Juan
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She stares at me but when I make eye contact she looks away. Normally I would approach her but her family is very protective. How should I go about this?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Styr

Don Juan
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Dec 10, 2012
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And here I was thinking, that me hitting on a 19 year old was bad. :)
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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pierce_r

Don Juan
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I'm nailing a 22 year old. And well, to hear her tell it.

When I first met her, she was still in high school. WE DID NOT **** BACK THEN. We hooked up a couple of years ago. This is also not a romantic thing between us. She's across the country at college, certainly taking her share of scalps. When she's home for break, what we have is purely physical and fun. (It's also on the DL because her father is an acquaintance of mine through my yacht club. And he's about my age.)

You have to let her come to you.

A girl who's interested in a man your age (important words, there: "girl" and "man") will let you know that she's interested. She will go out of her way to make it easy for you; they are much smarter, and wilier, and better educated about sex and relationships, than you ever were at that age. Probably more than you are, now, judging from your post.

Staring at you is not an invitation. The young one that I'm hitting pushed me against a wall with her tongue down my throat and started taking my shirt off. That's how I learned she was interested.

Me: "Hey, let's talk about this."
Her: "No."
Me: "Okay."

If you get pushback, or no signals, and you keep moving forward? Brother, you're wrong. You're seriously wrong.

If you hit on a girl that young, you might as well call Chris Hansen and let him know when and where you plan to approach her to make your move so that he can have his camera crew ready. Because that's how you're going to come off.

I would suggest, if you're not getting signals, that you back off. Now. Immediately. You can really screw up a girl that age if she's not ready and you're not careful. You can damage her for life. No joke.

She's staring at you?

Give her five years. She'll figure it out. Move on.
 
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