"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Need Help with my girl problems

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gottiwill

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Hey fellow DJ's
Heres my quick story:

10 months ago I went on a cruise to the bahamas. I met this girl, and everything was PERFECT. I mean PERFECT. We had all these REALLY extraordinary coincidences (kinda korny but, we had the same toothbrush, we were walking late at night on the cruise and walked past this slot machine and the moment we did, two quarters came out of it, we both still have them, and a BUNCH more.)

The only problem was, she lived in ATL. I live in Ft Myers, FLA.

We looked passed that, and still had wonderful times. I flew up and she flew down on a regular basis. (btw im 19 shes 17)

All was good. But I was at my peak in the DJ game. I was getting ALOT of girls still, and I cheated dozens of times, but I was very good at keeping it on the low. She eventually found out, but she didn't let it faze her/ She loved me with all her heart, and NOTHING could change that. she didnt change a single bit.

Well 1 month ago, I finally broke up with ehr for another girl. Stupid*****8. I had never done this previously before.
Well while we broke up, she had a 'crush' on another guy. I found out, and it TORE me to peices. Not to mention she started acting so different towards me, she stopped wanting to do anything in the world for me. and thats what i loved about her( i think I have issues though, I like girls who are obsessed with me, it makes me...comfortable). So meanwhile Stupid*****8 leaves me! for her EX! so now I'm all down in the dumps. I just lost two girls, both of whom I was positive I swept completley off there feet. It hit hard. Real hard. Tears and all hard. :eek:

I'm still feeling it, right now.

So now me and ATLchick are tryingto work things out. I forgave her, even though I don't know the whole story, and she has me. But shes still just not the same. I even told her so. She said she is.

To not drag this out anymore. I feel desperate. I feel like I'll NEVER find another girl that was so perfect (in the beginning).
I'm trying my best, but I'm so insecure about this. I'm so hurt. I just dont know what to do. I cant function, lifes a drag. I feel theres no other purpose to life than to have your True Love. I mean if you dont have them, nothing is worth having.

Thanks to anyone who read the whole thing, I appreciate it.
Just need some kind of advice.
Should I stay with ATLchick, try to move up there or her down here (things are realy good when were together, but I havent seen her since all this went down either)
or should I just move on, and accept the fact I got what I deserved and hope for another girl as good and not **** it up? :nervous:
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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The Bat

Master Don Juan
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You've got what we around here call one-itis.

First off, here is an interesting little fact for you: There is no such thing as true love.

The closest thing that comes close to being defined as "true love" is the love a mother has for her child. Even if the child turns out to be a serial rapist-murderer, his or her mother will still have some love left for her kid.

Second, you need to ask yourself why you're so desperate to be with this girl? Why do you feel like life is a drag? Because she's not around anymore?

Well, guess what. She ain't going to be around for awhile. Maybe she will be back with you now, but sooner or later, if you don't change your attitude, she WILL leave you. What will you do then? When she leaves you for good? Will you go jump off a building? Or come back here and cry about her?

Don't you have any hobbies? You said you were 19. I'm assuming you are in high school or college. What about that? Don't you want to be smart and intelligent? Don't you want to find something to do with your life?

Don't you want to get big and strong? Don't you want to discover and explore other places?

Look at it this way. Your trip to Bahamas. If that girl wasn't there, how much fun would you have had on the trip?

The answer to that question is very important to ask. And be honest with yourself.

I've asked you a lot of questions. You can choose to answer them here or on your own. It's up to you. But try to understand why I'm asking you all of these questions. There is a reason behind it. Figure out that reason and you've figured out your dilemma.
 
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gottiwill

Don Juan
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Second, you need to ask yourself why you're so desperate to be with this girl? Why do you feel like life is a drag? Because she's not around anymore?

I'm desperate because I'm afraid I'll never find a girl who was so perfect (refering to her in the beginning) Lifes a drag because I want a good girl to share it with. God I miss her being around. She maes me feel like the greatest thing to ever walk the earth.

Don't you have any hobbies? You said you were 19. I'm assuming you are in high school or college. What about that? Don't you want to be smart and intelligent? Don't you want to find something to do with your life?

Yes I have hobbies, I build websites and make a decent amount of money from them. I plan to financially fee by the time I'm 23. I am smart. I havent sarted college yet though.

so what is the answer to my dillemma?
 
T

Telos

Senior Don Juan
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During this "magical experience" that you had, you ended up buying into the soulmate mythology which ultimately is what led to your demise. I wouldn't go so far as to say that there is no such thing as true love, but the fairy-tale Cinderella style "run away into the sunset" fantasy is always short lived and rooted in a child-like infatuation with the unfamiliar. Many moons ago I fell for the same, and it ripped me apart, until I realized that the same intensity can be created with many other women and the girl I thought was so "perfect" in reality is a dime a dozen. You'll get over it, kid.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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gottiwill

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^ haha SIKE!

Thanks for the help Telos.
I also discovered this I think:
Whenever she does something that doesn't onvolve me, or goes to her friends and doesnt let me know, I get really upset. The reason I get upset I think is because I'm losing, or I've lost control over her.
 
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