"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Need Help with my girl problems

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gottiwill

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Hey fellow DJ's
Heres my quick story:

10 months ago I went on a cruise to the bahamas. I met this girl, and everything was PERFECT. I mean PERFECT. We had all these REALLY extraordinary coincidences (kinda korny but, we had the same toothbrush, we were walking late at night on the cruise and walked past this slot machine and the moment we did, two quarters came out of it, we both still have them, and a BUNCH more.)

The only problem was, she lived in ATL. I live in Ft Myers, FLA.

We looked passed that, and still had wonderful times. I flew up and she flew down on a regular basis. (btw im 19 shes 17)

All was good. But I was at my peak in the DJ game. I was getting ALOT of girls still, and I cheated dozens of times, but I was very good at keeping it on the low. She eventually found out, but she didn't let it faze her/ She loved me with all her heart, and NOTHING could change that. she didnt change a single bit.

Well 1 month ago, I finally broke up with ehr for another girl. Stupid*****8. I had never done this previously before.
Well while we broke up, she had a 'crush' on another guy. I found out, and it TORE me to peices. Not to mention she started acting so different towards me, she stopped wanting to do anything in the world for me. and thats what i loved about her( i think I have issues though, I like girls who are obsessed with me, it makes me...comfortable). So meanwhile Stupid*****8 leaves me! for her EX! so now I'm all down in the dumps. I just lost two girls, both of whom I was positive I swept completley off there feet. It hit hard. Real hard. Tears and all hard. :eek:

I'm still feeling it, right now.

So now me and ATLchick are tryingto work things out. I forgave her, even though I don't know the whole story, and she has me. But shes still just not the same. I even told her so. She said she is.

To not drag this out anymore. I feel desperate. I feel like I'll NEVER find another girl that was so perfect (in the beginning).
I'm trying my best, but I'm so insecure about this. I'm so hurt. I just dont know what to do. I cant function, lifes a drag. I feel theres no other purpose to life than to have your True Love. I mean if you dont have them, nothing is worth having.

Thanks to anyone who read the whole thing, I appreciate it.
Just need some kind of advice.
Should I stay with ATLchick, try to move up there or her down here (things are realy good when were together, but I havent seen her since all this went down either)
or should I just move on, and accept the fact I got what I deserved and hope for another girl as good and not **** it up? :nervous:
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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The Bat

Master Don Juan
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You've got what we around here call one-itis.

First off, here is an interesting little fact for you: There is no such thing as true love.

The closest thing that comes close to being defined as "true love" is the love a mother has for her child. Even if the child turns out to be a serial rapist-murderer, his or her mother will still have some love left for her kid.

Second, you need to ask yourself why you're so desperate to be with this girl? Why do you feel like life is a drag? Because she's not around anymore?

Well, guess what. She ain't going to be around for awhile. Maybe she will be back with you now, but sooner or later, if you don't change your attitude, she WILL leave you. What will you do then? When she leaves you for good? Will you go jump off a building? Or come back here and cry about her?

Don't you have any hobbies? You said you were 19. I'm assuming you are in high school or college. What about that? Don't you want to be smart and intelligent? Don't you want to find something to do with your life?

Don't you want to get big and strong? Don't you want to discover and explore other places?

Look at it this way. Your trip to Bahamas. If that girl wasn't there, how much fun would you have had on the trip?

The answer to that question is very important to ask. And be honest with yourself.

I've asked you a lot of questions. You can choose to answer them here or on your own. It's up to you. But try to understand why I'm asking you all of these questions. There is a reason behind it. Figure out that reason and you've figured out your dilemma.
 
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gottiwill

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Second, you need to ask yourself why you're so desperate to be with this girl? Why do you feel like life is a drag? Because she's not around anymore?

I'm desperate because I'm afraid I'll never find a girl who was so perfect (refering to her in the beginning) Lifes a drag because I want a good girl to share it with. God I miss her being around. She maes me feel like the greatest thing to ever walk the earth.

Don't you have any hobbies? You said you were 19. I'm assuming you are in high school or college. What about that? Don't you want to be smart and intelligent? Don't you want to find something to do with your life?

Yes I have hobbies, I build websites and make a decent amount of money from them. I plan to financially fee by the time I'm 23. I am smart. I havent sarted college yet though.

so what is the answer to my dillemma?
 
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Telos

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During this "magical experience" that you had, you ended up buying into the soulmate mythology which ultimately is what led to your demise. I wouldn't go so far as to say that there is no such thing as true love, but the fairy-tale Cinderella style "run away into the sunset" fantasy is always short lived and rooted in a child-like infatuation with the unfamiliar. Many moons ago I fell for the same, and it ripped me apart, until I realized that the same intensity can be created with many other women and the girl I thought was so "perfect" in reality is a dime a dozen. You'll get over it, kid.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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gottiwill

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^ haha SIKE!

Thanks for the help Telos.
I also discovered this I think:
Whenever she does something that doesn't onvolve me, or goes to her friends and doesnt let me know, I get really upset. The reason I get upset I think is because I'm losing, or I've lost control over her.
 
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