Need help learning to flirt

[Jariel]

It is a wonder I haven't noticed this until today, but I'm a really lousy flirt! I have been thinking it over and I believe one of the main reasons I'm not scoring more often is because I'm unintentionally rejecting the advances of women.

Today, for example, a hot French woman was coming onto me quite strongly, flicking her hair, paying me compliments, touching my hand, stroking my arm and knee, holding eye contact...pretty much everything short of jumping on me. How did I respond? I held eye contact and very awkwardly touched her arm a few times. Nothing more. I already have her number and we were already out together, so I couldn't number/date close and a kiss would have been too abrupt. So flirting would have been the answer here.

However, when I try to use kino it feels forced and unnatural and I have real trouble flirting in a subtle manner. I know how I should be using kino and it's not like I'm afraid, because in such cases as these I'm 95% sure these girls are interested in me, but it doesn't "flow" naturally for me and I'm not really sure about timing either.

Besides kino and eye contact, what other ways can a man flirt with a woman he's talking to and how could he escalate it further?

Any help on this would be appreciated.

 

[Dukester]

you have to feel natural dude. if you cant do that, then it's all over.

you could try talking! C&F works usually. but again, if it isnt natural, make it become natural.

do more kino, be more C&F, use neg. hits. w/e it takes.
Practice
Practice
Practice

the more you do it, the more comfortable you become

 

[chancer]

You have to be honest with yourself. You're scared. Admit what the problem is and work at it. I'm not going to lie. Girls always hit on me like that too, and I've blown so many of those cases. You have to have so much confidence that you're always in control. The moment she starts looking into your eyes and touching you, Expect it, and expect more! Keep it up, I like the dirrection you're going.

 

[Dukester]

ya, forgot to mention. read my confidence article from my signature
the 2nd one preferably

 

[Microphone Fiend]

trial and error. If you think "maybe this will work" Go out and try it.

It sounds like you just need to read some C&F threads. If you are kinoing, you are farther ahead than you think. When she is comfortable with your touch you just need to escalate and you're in like Flynn. They got those kino threads in the bible about being comfortable with it, so don't be so Dirtheart'd

Most flirting I do happens through role reversal so act like she is tryin to take advantage of you, or use you for sex, etc...

 

[Jariel]

Thanks. My c+f was on top form today and I actually did use role reversal too. When she complimented me about being "smart, sophisticated and cool" I said I noticed how all her compliments are about my physical appearance, I don't feel she appreciates my intelligence and personality and I'm sick of being treated like a sex object. I threw a few neg hits at her too and it all went down perfectly, but my kino was so weak and pathetic and I didn't know how to progress.

I am very good at the verbal aspects and have neg hits, c+f, smooth talking and rapport building down to a habit, but I literally don't know how to subtly escalate it from talking to making out (and on from there).

My usual style is very straightforward. When I see the interest is high, I'll ask her out, get her number and then make my move on the date with minimal flirting and build up in between.

With the kino, it just feels wrong for me to invade a woman's space uninvited, even though I know it would be welcomed. It's probably ingrained social conditioning that I need to break.

I think in some circumstances my lack of flirting works in my favour, because women can't work out if I'm interested and what I'm saying and what I'm (not) doing screws with their minds. Great for building high IL, but frankly, it never leads to spontaneous, spur of the moment make-out or sex sessions.