"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Need help dealing with tension "in the moment"?

hover411

Don Juan
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I was just at the Hard Rock Casino making my way through when I glanced at a hottie waitress.

She jokingly replied "What you lookin at?" I wasn't sure she was talking to me and kept walking. She then said something else as she was trailing behind me.

I replied, "I didn't hear what you said the first time", with a grin.

She, "I said what are you looking at (smiling),"

me, "Something real nice" with a grin,

she- "watch it (smiling),"

I proceed to the restroom and on the way out she is still around with drink orders. We give each other another glance and she says,

"You are a little cutie,"

AND I FROZE. I felt the tension and just grinned as I kept walking by. I was literally beating myself up as I was walking away. WTF?! I had a nice IOI's from her and couldn't keep it going.

I kept thinking afterwards of what to say when I saw her again but never did. Boy the regret. It may have never lead to anything but a little flirting, but it still hurts that I couldn't engage her like a true Don Juan.
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My game is pretty decent, but I have faltered too many times in these situations. How do you guys that are good in these situations handle them?

How do you deal with the tension?

Do you have planned responses for these situations?

Help me out here fellas.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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coolness89

Don Juan
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AH, i know what you mean. I went to a restaurant, and as I was leaving some other waitress started giving me IOI's, liked my jacket etc. I kinda froze as well, couldn't say much :(
Oh well, next time I'll be ready.
 

Dannyrt34

Master Don Juan
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I used to have this problem. Until I figured out why I always chicken out when the tension gets too high.

The reason is you're putting way too much pressure on yourself. You feel like, since this tension just rised so quickly, that you have to say something really witty/flirty to keep it going. You're putting alot of pressure on yourself, you can't think of anything 'good enough' to say back to what she just said, so you walk away.

The reality of it is, you don't always have to say something super witty. Just keep the conversation going after that ice breaker. Once she said you're a cutie, all you had to do is extend your arm to shake her hand and say "My name's hover, what's yours?"

She knows you were interested, and you knew that she was. No need to put all the added pressure of trying to keep that tension going. Just keep the conversation going, until you end up with the digits. You'll get better at it with practice. But for now, you came out with nothing. And i'll put $10 down that says if you woulda just said absolutely ANYTHING to her even if it wasn't what you think is the best thing to say, that you probably would have at least got the number.

Once you have the digits, you have all the time in the world to bring on that tension!
 

The_411

Master Don Juan
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I know is almost always a good as answer :) you've got the grinning part down.:woo:
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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