"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Need help dealing with tension "in the moment"?

hover411

Don Juan
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I was just at the Hard Rock Casino making my way through when I glanced at a hottie waitress.

She jokingly replied "What you lookin at?" I wasn't sure she was talking to me and kept walking. She then said something else as she was trailing behind me.

I replied, "I didn't hear what you said the first time", with a grin.

She, "I said what are you looking at (smiling),"

me, "Something real nice" with a grin,

she- "watch it (smiling),"

I proceed to the restroom and on the way out she is still around with drink orders. We give each other another glance and she says,

"You are a little cutie,"

AND I FROZE. I felt the tension and just grinned as I kept walking by. I was literally beating myself up as I was walking away. WTF?! I had a nice IOI's from her and couldn't keep it going.

I kept thinking afterwards of what to say when I saw her again but never did. Boy the regret. It may have never lead to anything but a little flirting, but it still hurts that I couldn't engage her like a true Don Juan.
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My game is pretty decent, but I have faltered too many times in these situations. How do you guys that are good in these situations handle them?

How do you deal with the tension?

Do you have planned responses for these situations?

Help me out here fellas.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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coolness89

Don Juan
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Jan 1, 2009
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AH, i know what you mean. I went to a restaurant, and as I was leaving some other waitress started giving me IOI's, liked my jacket etc. I kinda froze as well, couldn't say much :(
Oh well, next time I'll be ready.
 

Dannyrt34

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 26, 2006
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Belle Vernon, PA
I used to have this problem. Until I figured out why I always chicken out when the tension gets too high.

The reason is you're putting way too much pressure on yourself. You feel like, since this tension just rised so quickly, that you have to say something really witty/flirty to keep it going. You're putting alot of pressure on yourself, you can't think of anything 'good enough' to say back to what she just said, so you walk away.

The reality of it is, you don't always have to say something super witty. Just keep the conversation going after that ice breaker. Once she said you're a cutie, all you had to do is extend your arm to shake her hand and say "My name's hover, what's yours?"

She knows you were interested, and you knew that she was. No need to put all the added pressure of trying to keep that tension going. Just keep the conversation going, until you end up with the digits. You'll get better at it with practice. But for now, you came out with nothing. And i'll put $10 down that says if you woulda just said absolutely ANYTHING to her even if it wasn't what you think is the best thing to say, that you probably would have at least got the number.

Once you have the digits, you have all the time in the world to bring on that tension!
 

The_411

Master Don Juan
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I know is almost always a good as answer :) you've got the grinning part down.:woo:
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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