Need help creating intimacy/flirting...

[LuckyStrike88]

Ok here's story, i'm pretty good when it comes to DHV, negging and teasing a girl. And i work mostly from that mindset, though it seems to prevent me from moving forward, even if i know they are interested.

What i think is blocking me from getting intimate is that i am too focused on keeping the upper hand to the point where i push them away too much.

I think i have it printed in my head somewhere that getting intimate/flirting is going to make me lose the upper hand. And i can't quite figure out how to combine the two.

Right now i have been getting closer to a girl that has been a friend for sometime. We bust and tease on each other, have physical play but more in a way of brother/sister fighting. I can see she is interested but i just can't seem to turn it from friendship into something more intimate with my current mindset. Should i flirt or tell her she looks nice? Be sweet to her? I am quite clueless in this area i must admit.

I also feel like she is going to be wierded out if i do something that is suggesting intimacy/flirting as we have been just friends for almost a year.

Anyone that can relate to this and can help me out?
Book, links on this subject are also appreciated.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Next time you are getting physical with her just stop, look in her eyes and if she has "that look" kiss her

 

[Aware]

How do you know what is she interested in? Are you sure it's sex, not friendship? I wouldn't be so sure. Been there, done that.

If you try to get intimate there's a 100% chance you lose a friend. You may get a girlfriend though.

If you want the latter, you won't get that by being nice and sweet. Just shut your mouth and kiss her.

 

[sylvester the cat]

you need to create sexual tension.

in order to this you need to be the one in control.

in order to be in control you need to be willing to walk away.

go ghost on her and let her chase you. if she chases you have the upper hand and can call the shots. if she doesn't then she wasn't really interested.

 

[LuckyStrike88]

you need to create sexual tension.

in order to this you need to be the one in control.

in order to be in control you need to be willing to walk away.

go ghost on her and let her chase you. if she chases you have the upper hand and can call the shots. if she doesn't then she wasn't really interested.

Good stuff, this works pretty well indeed. We are already in this position though. I work a lot and she is chasing me in a way that she always is the one to ask me to come over and i don't always say yes when in too busy. So i am selectively available to her.

The problem is that there is sexual tension. But we talk to each other like we are friends, and id like to shift this in a more intimate direction. But i am also aware that you can't turn it around out of the blue.

For a friend to start kissing her in this frame just did not feel right, especially when she is about to possibly date a guy. Whether it is going to work out for her or not if i start kissing her the night before it just feels i'm forcing it.

I'm gonna wait for the right moment where it comes natural, we see each other regularly so shouldn't be a problem to take it slow and i think it will be better than forcing. Gradually start flirting more and see how she responds.

 

[Aware]

Make your intentions clear to her or forget about it. You are acting like a typical nice guy trying to win a girl over with comfort and no sexuality.

You are simply afraid of rejection. I'm afraid there's no way around the risk.

 

[thehedonistman]

as we have been just friends for almost a year.

jesus!

 

[MOTU]

Kino might be a good transition. Whatever you do, don't TELL her your interested. SHOW her. Even if you get shot down she'll respect you for being a man about it.

 

[Meisterman]

I have the same problem. I'm great at not being overly needy/clingy, letting her initiate most of the time, I'm selectively available, have a life outside her, keeping the 'upper hand', etc.

But when it comes to being intimate it's almost like you have to put all that aside and just make the jump and trust that she will reciprocate. Don't get me wrong, once I do go in to kiss her and escalate, I have no problem sealing the deal from there. The hard part is going from just talking like 'friends' and acting relatively aloof around her, to suddenly making a move that puts you in a vulnerable position for rejection. And also setting yourself up in a situation where you can make a move without it appearing forced or awkward (movie night is always a good option).

As far as I know the only way around this is to just trust yourself and take a chance. I psyche myself up by telling myself "I'd regret more not taking a chance at all than I would regret taking a chance and being rejected."

 

[Dgwizdal]

You may have the majority of the ingredients together that you would think would equate to something sexual but your missing two very important things: Making her submissive to you and subconsciously establishing yourself as a sexually capable partner...



Set up negs where she's "lucky you two aren't dating because you'd drive her crazy" "she'd make a good girlfriend but isn't blonde enough" "she's too easy" "I'm not that easy" accuse her of hitting on you or checking you out. Grab her hand and then throw it away and blame her for trying to hold it. Smack her on the ass and call her a perv. Hamster engaged.

The point of the above is to Playfully Plant the thought in her head AND IN THE OPEN that you two could be something but you're not interested.

Then - make her invest in you. Make her do things for you or boss her around - something as small as telling her to "come over here" "make me a drink" "look this up" over the next few encounters or so (things might even move faster if you're doing it right.) If she asks you to do something, make sure you are getting something in return. Simple as telling her to "say please." THEN, Add alcohol and isolate her. Use the above negs or teases of your own in the same context that frame you two as an item during a playful banter, look her in the eyes, pause, and f*ckin go for the kiss.

If you fail - you'll have an easy out because of the booze. When you succeed, you'll see that it was as easy as establishing yourself as the dominant and sexually capable partner.

You have been pvssyfooting around for the last year, she sure the f*ck isn't going to make the first move.

 

[El Payaso]

jesus!

Lmfao. Same thoughts.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Set up negs where she's "lucky you two aren't dating because you'd drive her crazy" "she'd make a good girlfriend but isn't blonde enough" "she's too easy" "I'm not that easy" accuse her of hitting on you or checking you out. Grab her hand and then throw it away and blame her for trying to hold it. Smack her on the ass and call her a perv. Hamster engaged.

The point of the above is to Playfully Plant the thought in her head AND IN THE OPEN that you two could be something but you're not interested.

Then - make her invest in you. Make her do things for you or boss her around - something as small as telling her to "come over here" "make me a drink" "look this up" over the next few encounters or so (things might even move faster if you're doing it right.) If she asks you to do something, make sure you are getting something in return. Simple as telling her to "say please." THEN, Add alcohol and isolate her. Use the above negs or teases of your own in the same context that frame you two as an item during a playful banter, look her in the eyes, pause, and f*ckin go for the kiss.

GOLD ^^^:rockon: