I was on the phone with a HB 7 and i started saying dumb things. So i just stopped talking and we both just stayed on the phone for hours saying nothing. I felt confident, but everytime i said something she said ok.... like i was weird. HELP!!!!!!!
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Need help changing from saying dumb things to cool things!!!!
- Thread starter Rint
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
dont take it personally, just make a joke about it or tease her on it. dont make it look like her awkwardness affected u in any way. it'll make it more enjoyable for the both of u.
wat exactly r u saying tho, there r limits u know. lol
wat exactly r u saying tho, there r limits u know. lol
like i can be really loose talking to a girl making jokes. They dont laugh they dont play back. They just stand there and take it. I dont know how to make girls get into it. Make them wanna tell me about themselves. I ask questions, but they dont respond with full out answers just blunt ones
r u actually ingaging them? ask them about themselves? tease ( but dont get to immature with the jokes, or it will backfire) them? smile? eye contact? kino? laughing? enjoying urself? just act like u enjoy talking to them and all of these things will make them get into the convo. girls mostly mimic body language. if u act nervous scared and or bored, so will she.
When you don't have anything good to say you should just eject from the conversation.
As for saying cool things...
have you ever heard a person tell a joke that was funny and later you or someone else told it and it was lame?
Its not the words but how they are spoken.
Basically you can say anything and if they are said with the right tone in the right context and emotion you can get away with it. Alternately you can say the smartest thing in the world but unless delivered well and appropriatly it could be stupid.
They key is to be in your reality, to be aware of the social dynamics of the situation, the states of you company (calibrate) and to be confident in yourself and what you are saying.
Sounds like you got sucked out of your reality and lost confidence in your words. Once that happens you are like the "cat in the hat" and everything you do to make it better just makes it worse.
So when you get pulled out of a positive state then go, "yeah, well I gotta go."
But don't worry coz she didn't hang up. Her "okay" comments show that she was similarly lost for words. Just joke about it next time you speak to her.
Don't beat yourself up about it. I think it pretty natural to be 15 years old and be saying to yourself "How do you talk to these very beautiful and very very insane creatures!"
JJ
As for saying cool things...
have you ever heard a person tell a joke that was funny and later you or someone else told it and it was lame?
Its not the words but how they are spoken.
Basically you can say anything and if they are said with the right tone in the right context and emotion you can get away with it. Alternately you can say the smartest thing in the world but unless delivered well and appropriatly it could be stupid.
They key is to be in your reality, to be aware of the social dynamics of the situation, the states of you company (calibrate) and to be confident in yourself and what you are saying.
Sounds like you got sucked out of your reality and lost confidence in your words. Once that happens you are like the "cat in the hat" and everything you do to make it better just makes it worse.
So when you get pulled out of a positive state then go, "yeah, well I gotta go."
But don't worry coz she didn't hang up. Her "okay" comments show that she was similarly lost for words. Just joke about it next time you speak to her.
Don't beat yourself up about it. I think it pretty natural to be 15 years old and be saying to yourself "How do you talk to these very beautiful and very very insane creatures!"
JJ
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
thanx for the advice. Ok what about immature jokes i heard that somewhere. That kinda sounds like me. I usually tell lame imature jokes, but sometimes I whip out a REALLY good one and thats not me being full of myself i mean everyone cracks up. How do i have more of those good joke moments?
when u try to make good jokes, that's when u inevitably fail. never take jokes seriously, if they get a laugh, great. if they dont, great too. all that matters is that u enjoy urself. use jokes to amuse urself, not others, and then it will rub off on others and u will get more laughs.Rint said:
hmm. O Raikojo another thing. I noticed a guy in my class who is loud and dumb. I felt bad for him he'd always say dumb things in class. He came off confident and he tried to be funny. I feel bad for him how can he change his dumb outloud remarks and dumb comments to saying cool things that are more mature?
The same way you get good at anything; Practice. Watch great comedians in action, read funny books, joka around a lot with people who won't judge you.Rint said:
Always be cautious with your first joke to a set.
If you are not sure a joke will come off then keep it to yourself. Nothing is worse than telling a joke that isn't funny. If your first joke fails then you will be labelled as not funny.
Just wait until you have figured out the mood of the group before you drop your first joke. If it gets a laugh they will now see you as funny. Then you will be able to build on you first success with confidence.
Its weird but once people have decided you are funny it is easy for them to see the funny side of your comments.
JJ
lol dont know about him. im just in highschool myself, so i dont kno all but i'll try. i actually have one of these guys u talk about as a friendRint said:
.i guess u could try and tell him to quiet down and only say something when he truly has something to say, but with these guys it's hard to convince them. e can only really change by himself. if he thinks wat he's doing is cool or funny, than he will more than likely not listen to wat u or others tell him.
does he get laughs, or do people get tired of him tryin to be funny?
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
lol cuz they view him as a try hard. this goes with the trying to be funny thing, if u try to hard then u will be labeled as a try hard, and not be funny. dont do wat he does.Rint said:
as for him, maybe one day he'll see th light, and stop being unessesarily loud. lol do u talk to him? maybe u could make a friend out of him and take him under ur wing and teach him.
he trys to talk to me and just walk away. He's not a bad guy just really immature. I wish i was good enough to teach. I wanna become the best but i just dont put myself into it cause i dont know how. When i try to i end up trying to hard or overthinking i dont know how to work hard at becoming a DJ without putting up road blocks
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Play the Game
Master Don Juan
You spent how many hours talking to her??
Get that leash off you boy... :nono: and go hang out with your male friends.
I wish someone told me this when i was 15. Don't get pu$$y whipped.
Get that leash off you boy... :nono: and go hang out with your male friends.
I wish someone told me this when i was 15. Don't get pu$$y whipped.
THE_ADDMAN
Master Don Juan
if you're saying stupid things, you're probably too focused on HER entertainment, which means you're trying too hard.