Need genuine advice

[creativejedi]

So i met this girl in office....we worked together....i developed liking for her and since she had health issues i asked her to stay at home and i paid her full salary from my pocket.

There were obvious IOIs based on that i took the call. She said she was engaged and would create dramas to get my attention but I rarely gave her.

For one full year she chased me. Always messaged me. She would video call and i would always avoid it. Even normal calls i picked up only after 5-6 missed calls.

After a year I confessed my feelings, told her I loved her. She said she didnt love me. This she told while we met in restaurant. And while we were eating she called her mother and instructed that if her fiance called not to pick up. All this while she told me she didnt love me.

I didnt say much. Told her we d talk only if she would say I love you. After that I stopped responding. She would tease me "shall i tell" i want to tell you something and when i asked what she changed the topic.

I know she is very interested. When i dont talk with her ahe loses her cool, becomes restless but i guess the moment i confessed things went downhill.

She has abandonment issues. Her father left the family while she was 8. She told me she looks at me like her dad. For context we have age gap of 10 years. I didnt take it seriously because she would bomb me if i didnt reply.

So yeah she is very interested but flaky. She loves to play mind games. Her current fiance is completely wuss. So far i have managed frame. Even after paying her salary, lately she has been terming as household money, i never showed bitterness or made the relationship transactional.

Any thoughts. I have decided to walk away if she doesnt confess.

 

[crowolf]

This is very AFC. I am actually curious where do you get the ideas to act in such ways. Is it Disney movies or something worse?

Are you even physical with her? What do you want to happen with you and her? Don't you feel used for attention and resources, without getting anything in return?

My genuine advice is to talk to 500 women in a span of a year or so, and understand that you should not waste your time and energy on such bull**** scenarios.

 

[Plinco]

So i met this girl in office....we worked together....i developed liking for her and since she had health issues i asked her to stay at home and i paid her full salary from my pocket.

There were obvious IOIs based on that i took the call. She said she was engaged and would create dramas to get my attention but I rarely gave her.

For one full year she chased me. Always messaged me. She would video call and i would always avoid it. Even normal calls i picked up only after 5-6 missed calls.

After a year I confessed my feelings, told her I loved her. She said she didnt love me. This she told while we met in restaurant. And while we were eating she called her mother and instructed that if her fiance called not to pick up. All this while she told me she didnt love me.

I didnt say much. Told her we d talk only if she would say I love you. After that I stopped responding. She would tease me "shall i tell" i want to tell you something and when i asked what she changed the topic.

I know she is very interested. When i dont talk with her ahe loses her cool, becomes restless but i guess the moment i confessed things went downhill.

She has abandonment issues. Her father left the family while she was 8. She told me she looks at me like her dad. For context we have age gap of 10 years. I didnt take it seriously because she would bomb me if i didnt reply.

So yeah she is very interested but flaky. She loves to play mind games. Her current fiance is completely wuss. So far i have managed frame. Even after paying her salary, lately she has been terming as household money, i never showed bitterness or made the relationship transactional.

Any thoughts. I have decided to walk away if she doesnt confess.

So she has a fiance, she's a co-worker and she doesn't love you. You should know better than this.

This is a textbook example of a woman to stay away from, way too many problems.

Focus yourself on other women outside of the work place, unless you don't take your job seriously.

 

[creativejedi]

Its not that. If she was into her fiance she wouldnt chase me for one full year. Her panicswhen i dont respond are real. She has thrown toughest **** tests at me and women rarely test men they are not interested in.
In fact she gave me her relatives number, her mothers number just to test. I never called them. Never bad-mouthed her.
I know my frame. We are so engrossed in frame and all that we forget insecurities of other person.
I wouldnt go this far if i had slightest doubt but i know she is interested.
We havent been physical. From where i come from such things are looked down.
But she gave hints of being physical though. I didnt take them seriosuly.

 

[creativejedi]

How this is AFC? I never chased her. Never texted first and this went on for full year.
Even now she is the one who always initiates.

This is very AFC. I am actually curious where do you get the ideas to act in such ways. Is it Disney movies or something worse?

Are you even physical with her? What do you want to happen with you and her? Don't you feel used for attention and resources, without getting anything in return?

My genuine advice is to talk to 500 women in a span of a year or so, and understand that you should not waste your time and energy on such bull**** scenarios.

Ow to

 

[Plinco]

Its not that. If she was into her fiance she wouldnt chase me for one full year. Her panicswhen i dont respond are real. She has thrown toughest **** tests at me and women rarely test men they are not interested in.
In fact she gave me her relatives number, her mothers number just to test. I never called them. Never bad-mouthed her.
I know my frame. We are so engrossed in frame and all that we forget insecurities of other person.
I wouldnt go this far if i had slightest doubt but i know she is interested.
We havent been physical. From where i come from such things are looked down.
But she gave hints of being physical though. I didnt take them seriosuly.

Ignore her "chasing" you and look at the rest of the situation. Falling in love with a co-worker who has a fiance and as you put it mental problems tells you something about yourself.

Why don't you have better options than this? <-- answer that question and you're looking at the solution.

 

[Gamisch]

Its not that. If she was into her fiance she wouldnt chase me for one full year. Her panicswhen i dont respond are real. She has thrown toughest **** tests at me and women rarely test men they are not interested in.
In fact she gave me her relatives number, her mothers number just to test. I never called them. Never bad-mouthed her.
I know my frame. We are so engrossed in frame and all that we forget insecurities of other person.
I wouldnt go this far if i had slightest doubt but i know she is interested.
We havent been physical. From where i come from such things are looked down.
But she gave hints of being physical though. I didnt take them seriosuly.

Or; if she was in to you she wouldn't have a fiance...

Neither would she tell you she doesn't want you. Now ,me no Enclish native speaker, but even I can understand that message loud and clearly. How else will a woman tell you she doesn't want you!

I understand that the foggy emotions are still fresh, but the main advice will be;

Forget about her, let her go.

 

[creativejedi]

Ignore her "chasing" you and look at the rest of the situation. Falling in love with a co-worker who has a fiance and as you put it mental problems tells you something about yourself.

Why don't you have better options than this? <-- answer that question and you're looking at the solution.

Yes you are right but I am not someone who is into dating like treating girls as a plate.

I took this seriously and am considering walking away without being bitter. I have stopped responding to her messages. So zero attention.

She needs money though and I'd continue for some time allowing her to find job. I dont want to seem vindicative.

 

[Poonstra]

She needs money though and I'd continue for some time allowing her to find job. I dont want to seem vindicative.

Don't give her money. Her family can give her money. Her FIANCE can give her money.