"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Need advice- plate asking reno' help

The Diver

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Backround:
Two years ago I spend few month with this girl. She looked for LTR ,so we split up.
We hooked up again few month ago and we are spending together one night every fortnight, which mostly at her place.

Now here is the thing:
She renovating her place , and b'cos some of my work involving renovations , she asked my help with few things. She was happy to pay me , but I didn't feel comfortable taking money from her, so I told her she can invite me for a nice restaurant instead.

I have my own rule that I'm not mixing business with pleasure, and I intended helping her as one off, but just now she asked me again if I can help her with few more small jobs in her place.

I don't want to fall into this pattern with any woman I'm involving with, and I really don't want to "help" her again, (which in this case she will take a tradesperson )

How you suggest I should respond her request for "help" again?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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The Diver

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Well, it"s looks like no one have been in the same situation like that .

I sticked to my rule and told her I'll be happy to help her out but I prefer not mixing business with pleasure ,and therefore will charge her from now on . She was positively about it and said she'll be happy to pay me for my works.

It's actually feel good sticking to my principal, keeping clear bundrey, and not getting "soft" with her, finding myself doing "small chores" around her place,,,
 

Dingo

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Your testicles don't shrink when you help girlfriends/women. Just don't slip into White Knight territory...

Help her with the small jobs. Doing projects together is a fun good way to know each other.
 

MrWood

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just tell her she can make dinner for you helping, but if she gets out of line you will slap her ass and no promises of kiss/sex wont happen
 

Trump

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How you suggest I should respond her request for "help" again?
"Lets not mix business with pleasure. If something isn't fixed the way you like it could ruin us and I greatly value our relationship"

You have to phrase it so she thinks you are on HER side and she jumps at the opportunity to call someone else because she thinks its to her benefit.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Spaz

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I see nothing wrong in helping women or men for that matter.

As long as I can afford to do it and within my area of expertise or business then I'll do it. Not a big deal. I can afford to be magnanimous from time to time.
 
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