Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Need advice- plate asking reno' help

The Diver

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Backround:
Two years ago I spend few month with this girl. She looked for LTR ,so we split up.
We hooked up again few month ago and we are spending together one night every fortnight, which mostly at her place.

Now here is the thing:
She renovating her place , and b'cos some of my work involving renovations , she asked my help with few things. She was happy to pay me , but I didn't feel comfortable taking money from her, so I told her she can invite me for a nice restaurant instead.

I have my own rule that I'm not mixing business with pleasure, and I intended helping her as one off, but just now she asked me again if I can help her with few more small jobs in her place.

I don't want to fall into this pattern with any woman I'm involving with, and I really don't want to "help" her again, (which in this case she will take a tradesperson )

How you suggest I should respond her request for "help" again?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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The Diver

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Well, it"s looks like no one have been in the same situation like that .

I sticked to my rule and told her I'll be happy to help her out but I prefer not mixing business with pleasure ,and therefore will charge her from now on . She was positively about it and said she'll be happy to pay me for my works.

It's actually feel good sticking to my principal, keeping clear bundrey, and not getting "soft" with her, finding myself doing "small chores" around her place,,,
 

Dingo

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Your testicles don't shrink when you help girlfriends/women. Just don't slip into White Knight territory...

Help her with the small jobs. Doing projects together is a fun good way to know each other.
 

MrWood

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just tell her she can make dinner for you helping, but if she gets out of line you will slap her ass and no promises of kiss/sex wont happen
 

Trump

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How you suggest I should respond her request for "help" again?
"Lets not mix business with pleasure. If something isn't fixed the way you like it could ruin us and I greatly value our relationship"

You have to phrase it so she thinks you are on HER side and she jumps at the opportunity to call someone else because she thinks its to her benefit.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Spaz

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I see nothing wrong in helping women or men for that matter.

As long as I can afford to do it and within my area of expertise or business then I'll do it. Not a big deal. I can afford to be magnanimous from time to time.
 
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