Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Need advice: Meeting a Girl Abroad...with conflict in the air

akindofblue

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I never imagined I'd be in this position, but I rather innoculously met a girl from Romania on the net. We talked for a number of months, and gradually I began to see what an incredible girl she was, how much we had in common, and how much fun it was chatting with her. I dated several girls over this period of time, and none of them measured up.

Our conversation grew more intimate, and she admitted she really like me and asked me to visit her. I agreed.

Now here I stand, on the brink of my plane leaving, and she tells me that a week ago she met someone new, that he's intelligent, and that she likes like him a lot. Now I'm pissed off, but I really don't know how to play this. No doubt she also liked me. She talked about being nervous about me meeting her parents, on numerous occasions she'd comment on my looks, on my knowing so much about her homeland.

And perhaps that's just it. It's her homeland, and this guy is from there. Huge advantage on his part. Then again, I'm sure I make him look like a thin weakling, but I really don't know how much that matters.

I've told her that I really don't care about him, as I came to see her, not him.

But I'm really lost as to how to approach this. Being overly confrontational or even bringing the subject up before meeting her is a very bad idea, I think.

I'm guessing my best bet is playing it confident when I meet her, to take some risks, and realize that there is nothing to lose. I'm not going to get dumped into the friendship corner over this. No doubt she had feelings for me, though again, in Romania (with my very weak grasp of the language) and seeing as how this guy is from her home town, I've got the odds stacked against me. She did say that she wants to go to grad school in the US, but that's all I've got as far as logistics go.

Whatever. I ain't going out without a :box: , though hopefully a smart one. The plane ticket is non-refundable, so that's out.

Any ideas?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Face to face contact is more powerful than e-mails --- women go on that site because they have no better alternative but now she has an alternative -- you are in trouble!! Try to hook up with other girls there -- talk to an agency that does this!!
 

lookyoung

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Let me ask u a very important question? Are u romanian?? If your Romanian than you have a good shot of getting this girl. A lot of these girls from eastern european countries want a guy from america.

If your not Romanian your screwed. Don't waste your time on this girl. This girls parents expect her to marry romanian guy and she will probably leave u for this other guy.
 

Ricco

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Be careful this could be one of those internet scams. Have you talked to her on the phone? or sent anything by mail to her.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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pressure0354

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the worst that could happen is you visit Romania and see some amazing stuff.
 

Thugo

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Ricco said:
Be careful this could be one of those internet scams. Have you talked to her on the phone? or sent anything by mail to her.
They are going to kidnap him and use him in the sex slave trade!
 
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Thugo said:
They are going to kidnap him and use him in the sex slave trade!
Haha, you are starting to sound like me with the whimsical one liners! I would add a rolly eyes emoticon for a greater sarcastic effect- like this...

They are going to kidnap him and use him in the sex slave trade!:rolleyes:

See the difference?
 

Thugo

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Last Man Standing said:
Haha, you are starting to sound like me with the whimsical one liners! I would add a rolly eyes emoticon for a greater sarcastic effect- like this...

They are going to kidnap him and use him in the sex slave trade!:rolleyes:

See the difference?

I wasn't really being sarcastic. Meeting a girl online, and flying to another country to meet her?

Who KNOWS what kind of things "she" has planned on the other end!

Sound sketchy as hell. No way I'd do it. How desperate do you have to be?
 
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Now that I think about it you are right - going with an organized planned group is better! There are no men slave trades though - but still could be dangerous to trust strangers in a strange land - you don't know who you are talking to.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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