"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Need advice from DJs to deal with neediness

LightOfVictory

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Hi guys.

I have been trying to get rid of neediness from myself by learning to love life.

Im organising more social outings
Going to the gym
Working on my core purpose
Focusing on my academics
Working on my inner self through spirituality
And.. NOT making women the centre of my life.

I would like to get advice from guys who have worked on this part of themselves and have come to the other side.

Thanks!
 
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"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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zinc4

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take up a martial art like longfist Kungfu and dedicate yourself to it 100 percent...either that or a serious sport and give it your all...martial arts, though, are the best IMO for conquering such things...
 

LightOfVictory

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zinc4 said:
take up a martial art like longfist Kungfu and dedicate yourself to it 100 percent...either that or a serious sport and give it your all...martial arts, though, are the best IMO for conquering such things...
Im interested to know. Why does the cmmunity advocte working out/taking up a sport/being active? U get increased testesterone. But how is that linked to desperation? I mean desperation is a bit more complex, normally arising from lack of childhood affection. Any comment on that?
 

Purefilth

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LightOfVictory said:
Im interested to know. Why does the cmmunity advocte working out/taking up a sport/being active? U get increased testesterone. But how is that linked to desperation? I mean desperation is a bit more complex, normally arising from lack of childhood affection. Any comment on that?
Youre asking "why workout?"

I'm asking YOU. "Why wouldnt you want to take care of the only body you will ever have. Why wouldnt you want to be in a healthy, physically fit shape? Why wouldnt you want to look your best?"

I dunno about childhood affection >>desperation, psychology and "issues" arent my field.
 

LightOfVictory

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Purefilth said:
Youre asking "why workout?"

I'm asking YOU. "Why wouldnt you want to take care of the only body you will ever have. Why wouldnt you want to be in a healthy, physically fit shape? Why wouldnt you want to look your best?"

I dunno about childhood affection >>desperation, psychology and "issues" arent my field.
Not why workout. But HOW does workout get rid of an emotional issue?

Yes i do take care of my body and do want to look my best. Which is why I go to the gym. I have a workout plan, protein powder and i stick to it.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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zinc4

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LightOfVictory said:
Im interested to know. Why does the cmmunity advocte working out/taking up a sport/being active? U get increased testesterone. But how is that linked to desperation? I mean desperation is a bit more complex, normally arising from lack of childhood affection. Any comment on that?

If you find a good teacher longfist will teach you to become a much stronger, more disciplined and well rounded person in general....also qigong, a huge part of longfist, would do loads of wonders for yourself....your chi field is stuck because of your childhood issues...qigong would get it flowing properly again and you would feel much better and much more at peace...however it is not an overnight or even semi quick process...takes a lot of practice and time and dedication...but after a year you will see a big difference if you have put in the proper time and work ethic......it would also help with your neediness because it would become your source of comfort and your primary ambition if you take it serious...this has nothing to do with testerone levels...runs much deeper than that.
 

LightOfVictory

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zinc4 said:
If you find a good teacher longfist will teach you to become a much stronger, more disciplined and well rounded person in general....also qigong, a huge part of longfist, would do loads of wonders for yourself....your chi field is stuck because of your childhood issues...qigong would get it flowing properly again and you would feel much better and much more at peace...however it is not an overnight or even semi quick process...takes a lot of practice and time and dedication...but after a year you will see a big difference if you have put in the proper time and work ethic......it would also help with your neediness because it would become your source of comfort and your primary ambition if you take it serious...this has nothing to do with testerone levels...runs much deeper than that.

Yea man. Right now, Im dedicated to applying j.krishnamurthi teachings and doing what eckhart tolle is teaching me. Been at it consistently also. I may think of incorporating yoga, but I dont think ill do qigong.
 

Jitterbug

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Your neediness is showing through your constant asking why how why do I need to do this????

Just do. Have some faith that you're on the right path.

As for your childhood issues, get a shrink.
 

LightOfVictory

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Jitterbug said:
Your neediness is showing through your constant asking why how why do I need to do this????

Just do. Have some faith that you're on the right path.

As for your childhood issues, get a shrink.
Thanks!
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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faeyt

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To be honest I also suffer from neediness, to an extreme level. I'd love to get involved in these types of martial arts. My only question is that, I'm 21. I know people who've done martial arts since they were 10 to 13. Would I need to take another, more basic form of martial arts like karate or basic kung fu before I would be suited to take longarm kung fu?
 
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