"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Need advice! Avoiding break up with girlfriend!
- Thread starter Trance
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
MacDiddy: I dissagree with you on this one... if his chick did not care or WANT to be with him, she wouldnt hesitate to tale the opportunity to break up when he ASKED/TOLD her that thats what thyey should do.. no... she rather sms'ed him and tried to get him to go out with her on Saturday, and she tried to convince him to go on the trip with her... This girl is far from WANTING to break up with him... she is just at a stage where she is really confused and doesnt know what to do, but when the confusion is over, she will realise that she DOES want to be with him.. i have seen this bs plenty times in my life... too many times actually, and thats one of the thing that most frustrates me about women, they are so fucll of sh!t sometimes, that they confuse themselves!
Overall, this girl HAD THE CHANCE to end it when they were talking and Trance suggested that they break up, but she didnt end it there, and then she tried to convince him to go with her on the trip and on Saturday night.... the reason for this, IMO is that she is not 100% sure what she wants, and she NEEDS to spend more time with him in order to be able to "see clearly" and KNOW what she wants, and the chances are, are that she will SEE that she will be giving up something so special, and she will realise that she DOES really like/love Trance, and she will make the decision to stay with him... So ya, i think this girl is far from WANTING to end things with him... she might think that its for the best because of the last 2 weeks where she was not "treated" the same seeing that Trance had all his exams etc and her mood being as unstable as it is, she jumped to the conclusion that he was cheating or that something was wrong, and then came to the conclusion of her not being happy/feeling arkward. The sex issue is a very small one, and can be fixed in no time.. maybe to HER it was a big deal and now she might feel abit arkward about it, but he will stop talking to her about it like he did, and in the near future thatproblem will be fixed, and the arkwardness will fade away.
This girl is lost and needs directing, she doesnt seem to be able to "find" herself at the moment.... so Trance: DIRECT her and "show her the light"
Laterz...
MacDiddy
Master Don Juan
She has said alot of things, things which a contradictory and things which on the surface makes sense, but given the context of this relationship breakdown, I say there is some truths but most is all posturing.... Getting the best emotional deal in the relationship breakup aftermath....
As for her wanting him to go on this trip, he in justified in questioning its viability since she won't be treating him as a BF so what is the point. He'll just have a miserable time... I suspect she want him to go as a backup, provide her with more choice... incase she gets bored she can bounce of him.... Nothing in what I've read gives me the impression that this trip is like a "saving our relationship trip"
My beef is that you guys are putting too much credence on what she says... If trance fixes up everything on her list of problems, its still won't be enuff....
However, if I am wrong then you will be right ~ªêQµïTª$~
I don't mind being wrong because this quy will get the chick back as a result of getting the power back. He will need it if he is to lead her out of her confusion... and I will be happy for him!!! And I can only see this happening if he takes Cactus's advice and cut her off... she needs a shock to her process system...
I used to be one of the guys who posted here on the forum NEXT, NEXT, NEXT, but now i have a diferent understanding of relations. Specially since she's a younger girl, and i have a lot of younger friends of her age and i see how their relations work. Even that couple that the guy is big friend of mine, and girl is best friend of my girl they broke up on sevaral ocasions, and if the guy followed the advice here NEXT NEXT NEXT, they wouldnt be together and happy as they are today.
Today i was with her, we went for a cofee in the morning, she made our payments for the trip. In the afternoon, we went for walk and latter at my place. We had some fun time, i'm really feeling confortable right now. Of course i would like to be sexing her too, but its not being a big deal for me. We had a nice time in eachother's company, hugged a lot. I'm not feeling sad about this or anything. If it was about sex, 2 girls invited me last night to go out with them as soon as i said i had broke up!!
About the trip she told me for me and my friend try to get another guy for our room (its 3 ppl room's) that wont be around, and so her and her girlfriend are going to get another girl that latter goes to a diferent room, so that we can be me and her in a room, and our friends in the other room. Obviously this was very nice to hear, and i think that it shows she has intentions of being there as boyfriends.
In any case, all i want is either be with her for a lot more time, or have a nice trip with her, go out a lot there and have crazy sex, and if things dont work out soon when we come back, we'll end up and have memories of nice times together, and both will move on.
What do you guys think of what she said about the rooms in the trip? Good sign hum?
This is definatelly a good sign
... And if your girl is being genuine with her actions, then she is exactly like what i described her out to be... she doenst want to end things, she was just really confused, needed time, and needed to be convinved/woken up that she DOES love u, and that u DO love her and what the 2 of you have trully IS special I think that the more time she spent with you, the more she actually realised that breaking up is actually NOT the right thing to do.. and yes, from what i gather, she DOES love u alot, and i KNOW that u love her too, so staying togeather only makes sence!
About the sex story.. dont worry about it.. go out with her, have fun... and it will happen natrually again, so dont worry about THAT, it will happen, sooner or later
I'm happy to hear the good news man... and i wish you the BEST of luck for the future with your girl!
Laterz...
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Actually in my courtship, it was kinda like now, both having a nice time together, she having doubts if i just wanted to sex her not, and flaking my kisses for 2 weeks till she was more sure of my intentions. It was fun seducing her.
Aequitas: Thx again dude
I got to know today that the girlfriend of her's was the one who incited her with doubts, that told her she wouldnt let her boyfriend be during all week away in the other town, doing whatever he's doing, bla bla kind of stuff and suspicious and suspicious, while other girl was telling her that i tell her all about my college town life, that she has nothing to be afraid of. Girls are so influentiable at this age..
Fenderules
Master Don Juan
This kinda thing tends to happen often with women... It often happened because her friends are jelous of her, so they will try and cause sh!t that will hopefully lead to a break-up.
What you can do to fix this:
Befriend all or at least MOST of her friends and get them to like you so that they wont try and talk sh!t about you to your gf, and they will rather have GOOD things to say about you.
You also need to make it clear to your gf that no matter WHAT her friends might think or say, she needs to trust YOU and ONLY you! And if she starts getting doughts or is unhappy with something, then she musnt keep it inside, and she should rather SPEAK to you about it. The 2 of you probably trust eachother ALOT, so she should believe YOU before she believes anyone else, and visa versa.
But overall it seems that your girl DOES care alot for you, and that the 2 of you SHOULD work out just fine
Goodluck and most importantly, have fun and enjoy life man!
Laterz...
MacDiddy
Master Don Juan
Yes its sooo important to disarm all potential c0ckblocks before they turn against you...
this is almost always overlooked... Now I've been wondering why my primary relationship has flourished and that is because all her friends love me!!!
I dont think the girl tended to harm me, she's just naturally jealous. Her and her boyfriend are constantly breaking up, they have a lot of trust issues with things from the past, etc.. She's a good friend to me, but not a good influence at all for my girl.
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
Trance... If she would try influence your girl to break up with you and if she is putting doughts in your gf's head, then OBVIOUSLY she is NOT being a good friend to you... friends dont ACT upon their jelousy for eachoither, and if they do, then they are not "true" friends and should be avoided.
I think that you need to have a little chat with this so called "friend" of yours and tell her that she is going to mess up your relationship that you care alot for with her jelousy and stupidiity... and tell her that if she values your friendship, she will stop filling your gf's head up with bullsh!t like she is currently doing.
goodluck...
Laterz...
Here's one for the future though - when you meet a truly great woman who actually loves you, she will defend you to the hilt when her friends turn against you, and dump them all in a minute to be by your side. Assuming you're not being an idiot and treating her badly of course.
Nightwing
Master Don Juan
NEVER SEEK COUNSEL IN A CHICK'S GIRLFRIENDS. NEVER. They will always contort the picture to make it look as if you're the shytheel even if they know thier GF is a real flake. She's totally insecure, and you'll always be stepping on eggshells with this chick as long as you hang around her. Like one of the other guys stated, let this chick create her own little soap opera with someone else.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
When there is no explanation that means that she is currently deciding on which pimp she wishes to bestow her loyalty - if there is such a thing as loyalty to a hor!!!
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
Yeah, I did! The question is why the doubt and drama and secondly why the sudden change of heart??? You never received an explanation did you? Don't ask her now - she won't tell you the truth!!Originally posted by Trance
lol puertorican
btw, u didnt read my last post before posting
She tells me she's crazy to do "peace" with me, but still wants a bit more time (like a week) cause she's not feeling ready cause when i do certain caresses to her she remembers the hardcore stuff.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.