"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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need advice - 2nd date with shy girl and no kiss - i work with her, too

strong like bull

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im really kicking myself in the butt here. im stumped - i have an idea what the answer is, but i cant seem to get there.

heres the situation:

the girl is a sweetheart. as much as this sounds like oneitus, it seems to be true. shes one of the few girls ive met, who actually has morals and ethics. shes young (18) and rarely drinks, doesnt smoke, has an innocent, naive, positive attitude about her.

yes, she is shy. her parents have sheltered her and are very protective - e.g., shes about to turn 19, yet still has a 10 oclock curfew.

things have been progressing forward, but slooooooooowly. it makes me feel like a chump, because every other girl ive hung out with, wed at least make out by the end of the first "date." with this girl...

first date i took her ice skating. had lots of fun, established kino, gave her a hug at her doorstep.

in the few days between that and tonights 2nd date, shed been very receptive. very much willing to set up another get together. very good bodylanguage, etc.

so tonight comes about. originally, i wanted her to come back to my place to watch some movies. she dug it, but her parents didnt. they... strongly preferred, that we hang out at their place instead. no biggie - id rather have that than nothing.

everything went "good." good kino during movie, taking it further than first date... but again, so slow. usually id gotten this far in the first 10 minutes, not after 2hrs of movie watching. you know?

around 10:45, she said id better go. i know her bedtime is around 10pm (lol.. sad but true) and she was tired. i thanked her for having me over, gave her a hug and parted.

so thats that. but the fun part? the part that makes this REALLY interesting? i work with her! in fact, ill be seeing her tomorrow morning. not really sure how to handle that. i work in a laid-back restaurant where we have a lot of fun (kind of like Fridays), so its not a strict corporate office. in other words, fooling around wouldnt be an issue. no one would be fired or anything like that.

the problem tho is that, normally, i wouldnt see a girl again until were going out another night. im tempted to make a move on her there. something exciting, to spark her interest; like pulling her into a hidden room and kissing her. lol, dont know if she'll go for it tho.

i dunno. i feel that i need to step up and progress a little faster. even tho shes shy, i understand that if i dont take action to make it intimate, she'll lose interest. im on a short time-frame, too. from july 5th - 13th ill be out of state. then later in the month she'll be gone, too. so id like to establish some good vibes before we part ways for a month.

bah. i feel a bit lost. i could use some advice.

thanks in advance,
SLB.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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strong like bull

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what irks me a bit, too, is that this really goes against the reputation i have. at work, im always having fun, being a risk-taker, being exciting, etc. thats how people think of me; thats what attracted her to me. but with her, im really having a hard time getting from pointA to pointB. drawing the line and connecting the two.

bah
 

chicksrock

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well obviously shes not like the other slu*Ts .....
so OBVIOUSLY you have to be patient..and earn her trust...
 

strong like bull

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i could see that

anyone else?
 

coldcoal

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Plant one on her cheek as part of a hello or goodbye or something. You don't need to do this too much at all, but get her use to that before you go for the kiss.

Does she drive?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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evolvingnerd

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and also what nationality are you guys?
necause if asian, and they still have stronger asian ties, as in they speak it at home and stuff, then chances are she'll get to want to know u as a friend before anything happens
 

mamefan77

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I wouldn't recommend trying your first kiss at work...

You've been doing fine.... now on your 3rd date just try to find a time to catch her off guard---- that will be perfect for a first kiss...
DONT wait until the date is over when it's all awkward...

IE... take her out dinner and find a parking spot a little ways away from the rest of the cars and crowd... after dinner walk around to open her door for her... and then bam! move in on her when she's least expecting it...

GL
 

flava

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movies always work wonders for me
 

MacDiddy

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You're starting to treat her as high value. I made that mistake with a church girl I knew a while back. Now while she may be high value, putting her on that pedastal and holding back because you think she needs to be treated right is not gonna do you any favours. Use David D's first kiss approach.
 

strong like bull

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i think im going to follow mamefans advice. off-guard kiss, isolated away from people.

macdiddy: i agree. tell me though, what is DeAngelo's first kiss approach?

evolvingnerd: i am a mutt; austrian, yugoslavian, italian, german. she is half mexican, half mutt. her mutt side is german, polish, etc. imo she is very sheltered and it comes down to her parents. her mom is mexican, dads the mutt, so its not really their culture per se - just how theyve raised her. shes still daddys little girl.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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MacDiddy

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David D's approach goes like this:
Stroke her hair while glancing her in the eye, then move your focus down to her lips then back up to her eyes again. then back down to her lips and back up to her eyes again. then slowly move in for the kiss.
 

legolas

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Be patient!!

It's okay to havea reputation as a risk taker, but that doesn't mean you can't have patience. Patience my dear friend is one of those qualities that a lot of so called DJs do not have. And they call themselves DJs!!

Anyway, what do you want to do? Do you want a LTR? Do you want a quick screw? Once you know that, you'll know what to do. If you want a LTR, then sit back and watch her slowly fall for you. You just simply stay the same, no games, no "moves" nothing.

If you work with her often, the less she sees of you, the better. Get busy at work, hang out with other people on breaks and so on.
 
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