who wants to help me be ****y? i met this really, really attractive girl the other night. I got her to put her number in my phone etc., so the interest level was high enough. she has finals this week so I don't really want to give her a call in case her week is going bad. she told me she loves to text message so I was thinking of dropping her a text message to wish her luck on her tests and make her laugh out loud. she mentioned that she felt like the dumbest person in the classes, so I want hit something along those lines. i'm not going to ask for a date in the message, just something to make her laugh. any suggestions would be killer. she is also on the university dance team where i live.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Need A Funny Text Message
- Thread starter Disco
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Here's a few.
I wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox!
Ur cute gorgeous fine & dandy.really sexy u make me randy.ur good wiv ur mouth & also in bed …oops sorry wrong number 4get wot I said!
Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. Thats enough bout me-How r u?
Last nite I lay in bed looking at the stars- the beautiful sky and the endless horizon....& suddenly I thought...where the **** is my roof?
*NEWSFLASH* Police r lookin 4 a suspect whos smart sexy witty & very gorgeous- they've already eliminated u from the enquiry (where do you think i shood hide?)
Whats rough and hairy on the outside and soft and wet in the inside starts with C ends in T and has a U & a N in it? .... Answer - a coconut u pervert.
Tell me.is it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?..ooh yeah ..ouch its hurtin ..ok i wil put it in slowly ..stil hurtin..ahh yeh ..den lets try d other shoe madam
Do U bleev N luv @ 1st sight or shud I wlk past U agn ?
sex Is Like a Mathematics Test . . ! Me Plus u . . . Subtract The Clothes . . . Plus The bed . . . Divide The Legs...Multiply The orgasms . . . Fancy a Mathematics Test . . ?
y do men av there best ideas durring sex? because there plugged into a ****ING GENIUS!!!
michael jackson & the dr walked out of the room after his wife has a baby boy. Mich says how long b4 we can ave sex? dr says, at least wait til hes walkin
if a big fat man comes late at night into your room and wants to pack you in his bag, don't worry, i told santa that i want you for christmas!!!
I wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox!
Ur cute gorgeous fine & dandy.really sexy u make me randy.ur good wiv ur mouth & also in bed …oops sorry wrong number 4get wot I said!
Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. Thats enough bout me-How r u?
Last nite I lay in bed looking at the stars- the beautiful sky and the endless horizon....& suddenly I thought...where the **** is my roof?
*NEWSFLASH* Police r lookin 4 a suspect whos smart sexy witty & very gorgeous- they've already eliminated u from the enquiry (where do you think i shood hide?)
Whats rough and hairy on the outside and soft and wet in the inside starts with C ends in T and has a U & a N in it? .... Answer - a coconut u pervert.
Tell me.is it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?..ooh yeah ..ouch its hurtin ..ok i wil put it in slowly ..stil hurtin..ahh yeh ..den lets try d other shoe madam
Do U bleev N luv @ 1st sight or shud I wlk past U agn ?
sex Is Like a Mathematics Test . . ! Me Plus u . . . Subtract The Clothes . . . Plus The bed . . . Divide The Legs...Multiply The orgasms . . . Fancy a Mathematics Test . . ?
y do men av there best ideas durring sex? because there plugged into a ****ING GENIUS!!!
michael jackson & the dr walked out of the room after his wife has a baby boy. Mich says how long b4 we can ave sex? dr says, at least wait til hes walkin
if a big fat man comes late at night into your room and wants to pack you in his bag, don't worry, i told santa that i want you for christmas!!!
Well you could try that. But since she's majorly stressed out (tests are like that, and she's indicated as much) what she really needs is a bit of emotional support. So use your own words to give her a lift. Tell her she's clever and she's worked hard and she'll blitz the test. And call, don't text.
lol, those i'll use later. i don't know this check that well so i am working with something like this:
Good luck on your finals. A 90 will get you sushi with me, an 80 will get you coffee, a 70 will get you a black jelly bean.
Good luck on your finals. A 90 will get you sushi with me, an 80 will get you coffee, a 70 will get you a black jelly bean.
Only you know how well you know her and what would be appropriate, but if you can talk her down so that she feels more calm after speaking with you then you'll be a prince in her world. Everyone I ever knew at uni was always looking for an excuse to take a short break from study, and every chick I ever knew placed a very high value on the ability to make her believe that everything will be ok.
Of course if you can't pull it off you'll come across as a bit of a d!ck
Of course if you can't pull it off you'll come across as a bit of a d!ck
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Kineti[C]harm
Master Don Juan
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- Nov 16, 2003
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- 1,520
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Roses are red
Violets are blue
Who gives a ****
I just want you!
Violets are blue
Who gives a ****
I just want you!
ShortyBrown
Master Don Juan
Ask your fellow mobile phone owning mates!!! They're bound to have some of those typical ones that men find hysterical, and girls roll their eyes at, but love anyway.
Donjuanpablo
Master Don Juan
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- Dec 19, 2001
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- 643
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- 2
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- 44
Dude, unless its your own natural humour you're gonna sound lame as anything, especially if its anything like some of the suggestions above. If you're not naturally ****y whats gonna happen when you finally hang out with her, she'll see the transparancy of it all.
If anything wish her all the best or give her something similar to R3N3GAD3s suggestion otherwise its obvious you're trying to hard.
If anything wish her all the best or give her something similar to R3N3GAD3s suggestion otherwise its obvious you're trying to hard.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Paid Laid & Made
Senior Don Juan
LOL. Papa, wow, I am blown away, that is some of the best material I have read in a while.
Vigilante7
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2003
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- 39
LMAO !! AT THESE
THEIR GREAT!~
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
j_kat_251
Don Juan
If you're lying in bed and you can see the stars... you're either a hobo or last night's sex blew off your roof.
squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
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- 6,620
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- 186
- Age
- 47
Stop making excuses and call her.
Anonymous56
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2003
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- 0
um..ok
And you calling is supposed to make it worse?
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.