Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

"Naturals" that are quiet

Unbridled_Phoenix

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I have been a comfortable Natural since I was 21. A Natural at getting them, horrible at keeping them. I came to this site when my LTR was unraveling and I was searching for a liferaft, but now I am my own liferaft.

There's nothing wrong with being a Comfortable Natural, except if you're too comfortable, as I have been. It was too easy. This site has shown me what I needed to implement to continually grow as a man, for that I am sincerely grateful.
 

Analyzeit

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Im quite then they wonder gets the mystery up, i say a few things and then once they in the palm of my hand i'm louder.

But as i say that your missing your the details as someone said earlier its all behind the scenes.

Apocalypse also described me perfectly as well

But i've also met a lot of loud guys that get a lot more, its all about getting your personal brand of bringing in the girls then being the best at it
 

londonzen

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i have two brothers
im the oldest(quiet)
the middle one(loud)
the youngest(quieter than me) whos 20 next month

the youngest gets nicer all 9s and more girls then both of us together no lie.
but if you didnt know him you him you wouldnt know as hes never going out of his way. he was doing a 25 year old polish women who had a boyfriend 2 years ago.
girls go crazy over him as they say hes quiet and holds mystique.
my mums friend admited that if she was younger she would do me (she says im the cutest) but would ruin the youngest as hes so sexy.
 

Sandow

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My own lil secret: It's not what you say...rather it's what you DON'T say.

In other words, stop TRYING to be that clown who's doing everything he can to impress. Most likely you're gonna say something stupid and make you look like an azz. Talking a lot is also a big sign of insecurity. Huge turn off for girls.

Being reserved or quiet can help you in many ways. It puts you in the driver seat, gives you the power. She may think she's not good enough, so usually she'll do the talking (her qualifying herself to you.) It also makes you look very confident, mysterious and it gives you less of chance of screwing up. Just remember its how you use it that matters.
 

King Turi

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Well, I'm a relatively quiet guy, but being quiet doesn't mean you're shy.

I have no problems with talking to people, though I don't deliberately run around trying to talk to everyone, just anyone who comes up to me and starts talking basically..

I get chicks attracted to me all the time, I think it's because I'm giving off some kind of self-confidence thing by NOT trying to pick up the ladies all the time, but still am keepin' it cool, 'cuz I don't just sit there when I go out, I talk to my mates and can easily keep a conversation flowing with people I've only just been introduced to or met.

I find that when you don't actually go out looking for some action is when you get the most attention, since you know what you're doing (whatever that is) and I guess people pick up on the confidence.

I found out I had a lot of chicks from school who were interested in me (some still are, but I've moved states since school days), and I never approached anyone.
I just chilled with my mates, definitely wasn't boring, but I wasn't a sleeze or nothin'.

I ALWAYS wind up with my sisters friends attracted to me, and I don't really even talk to them at all.
 

MKS82

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Im quiet/shy but good looking, ive been told oh your really cute yadda yadda yadda. I really dont cold approach. Because of my looks im viewed as stuck up/c0cky and non threatening. Therefore im a challenge and if i start talking the girls are like wow hes talking to me i feel special. Kind of depends on your look.
 

Bonafide

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Apocalypse Now said:
I consider myself a quiet/reserved person, and this is how I would define myself and others that fall into that category:

They are generally less talkative than the average person, and a lot less talkative than an outgoing person, but they are quite capable of carrying a conversation with someone.

They tend to be quiet in groups of people because they are thinkers and analyzers. They listen to everyone else and form general concepts of everyone in the group so that they can effectively interact with them.

They use language succinctly to get their point across without verbosity, and they're very strategic and tactful with how they speak. There is reason and purpose behind everything they say, and they almost never waste words.

They gather info about their audience, form the best possible way to approach them, and then use language strategically to communicate. They are generally seen as mysterious and analytical, so when they do speak, people listen closely.

They're powerful with women one-on-one because they listen effectively, analyze her, and then speak in a way that makes her feel like he's talking straight to her soul. Their speech is a laser beam.

Their weakness is in groups, when everyone else seems to outshine them while they bide their time and wait for a chance to strike.



Quiet/reserved people should not be confused with shy people, who are quiet because they're insecure and afraid of what others might think of them. Those are the guys that have difficulty with women because they're incredibly difficult to carry conversations with.
Yup. End thread. This is exactly me, and its all true what you said. And I get ass no problem...many times a girl will open to me and ask me why im 'so quiet'...ill just go from there
 

radiodude

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I am a naturally quiet one often times as well. Depends on the group.

This post illustrates why alot of what you read on this site is false. You have to disseminate good and bad information here.

Success with the opposite sex is more about becoming who you naturally are as opposed to some idea of who you should be. Self improvement is always good when it is the natural you that is being improved.

Do not try to become something else. :nono:
 

gonnamakeit

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Did't read the whole thing But guanyuan was saying how he is quiet ect ect. It is just a matter of how your personality is if you acting the way you would act if you were 100% confident and girls like this. I used to be fairly queit but this is because I was thinking things like ooh wouldn't it be funny if I did this or think of something to say and not say it. Now I increased my confidence and am an ultra extrovert almost seems try hard but I am not forcing myself to be this way it is how I naturally am if I don't check myself. These quiet guys who are getting alot of girls probably think of great things to say but less often not stopping themselfs like guys who are quiet due to a lack of confidence and self-assurance.

Edit Read the rest Radio dude totally agree before reading your post I wanted to post something similar.

Don't go romantizing being a quiet reserved mystery who everyone listens to when they talk that is the ideal form of the quiet guy if that is not you don't try and become that.

Same with being an super high energy extrovert if you are a quiet guy (by nature not by lack of confidence) don't try this.

Each of these things have there strengths and weakness.
Just be yourself. I now understand this advice it means be the way you would be with no inhibitions and not trying to please anyone.
 

C-quenced

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I guess it's mostly a matter of how comfortable you are as someone mentioned earlier. Your comort level should help determine your chances of getting some action. Something I need to work on.

But we can't disregard verbal game altogethor. I've seen guys bag women and get laid in the same night just by "talking" to her. Are these "quiet" guys on par with the loud party guys? I know I'm not.
 

flamonay

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Apocalypse Now good analysis. I am shy sad to say, but i can appreciate what you are saying because i'm quiet and when i'm feeling confiedent (when i am that is) i still don't have much to say so i listen to try and understand whats being said problem is when the time comes to speak i am all over the place because i'll be trying to impress to cover up my insecurity.
 

MisterMcGee

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It's different to be quiet due to confidence and quiet due to anxiety. When I realize im being anxious I shake myself out of it and chill the fvck down, because nobody is worth getting anxious or nervous over.
 

GlennCoCo

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I experimented with this in High School,

I just started this new school and I was quiet But responsive. Our High School was around 60 students all around. I must have had 5 girlfriends that year.

The next year I changed drastically, and started becoming outgoing. That f*ucked me over and girls were turned away. I wondered why...

I figured that with me, Being quiet and being a mystery has always helped me rather than talking my mouth off and showing interest in them.
 

Thyme

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yea i know a few of those types of guys... and the one common thing is that they are all good looking, jocks, and have a high social proof. they dont need to talk, their resume does it for them...

i have yet to see a quiet guy getting chicks when he is missing one of those three things
 

Austin3.8

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I very rarely post or come here, but I thought I would throw in some info.

I am fairly quiet and I have hundreds of friends and I get laid every few days by someone and I havent had a GF since August of last year.

I am 6'3" and ~215lb and look pretty good.

The trick to being a "quiet natural" is realising that most of your comunication is non verbal.

You have to be "non-threatening" which is basically having a desperation factor of zero.

You have to know people where you are doing the pick up, security, bartenders, door guys, DJ, waitresses, and customers. What this tells the girl is that if all these people think you are a cool guy, then you must be. Don't brag about it either, just let her watch you talk to them - they are your friends after all.

I talk *very* little to the girl I am interested in, no more than 5 minutes at a time. I then go to a group of friends I know, and another group, and another, until I have made my rounds of the bar and get back to them, and dont parade her around the bar to all your friends, she is a f*ck... that is all. My friends dont even know who I am f*cking or if I am even friends with someone I am talking to.

I am extremely comfortable around girls and don't mind touching them, especially their hair or ill poke one boob or sorta motorboat their cleavage with my finger. Girls that don't know you will sh*t test you after you do it nearly 100% of the time, you can just tell them its a compliment and if they dont like it then they shouldnt have such good looking ____ and then give em a hug to make it all better. In the case of poking one of their boobs, my favorite is apologizing for accidentally making the other boob jealous, the bigger deal you make of it the better... extra points for asking them if you can even it out. I recently poked a girls boob as a opener cuz she had huge boobs, then made a big show of looking away so she would know it was me, ive been f*cking her once or twice a week since January, I had never talked to her and knew none of the girls she was with. Girls like to be touched, they just don't like to be grabbed or molested, notice that I only use one finger when I touch their boobs.

If a girl seems concerned about it, I go to lengths to make sure a girl knows that I wont kiss and tell, and I dont because when you are getting laid a few times a week it isnt a big deal. Girls are real big on not being thought of as a wh*re, but they like to get laid as much as any guy.

Do not ever lie to a girl about anything, it will always blow up in your face.

Don't ask for permission, the answer is yes unless otherwise noted. Even then you call call em out for living like its 1950.

Never grab a girl, ever.

Never touch a girls ass unless you are spanking it, and only if she asks you to.

Do not touch a girls waist, it makes them self concious.

Dont touch a girls boobs if they are anything like small, see above reason.

Dont be afraid to introduce yourself to her friends.

Dont hug up on her, space is good.

If she brings it up, tell her from the start that you are not dating, you are just having fun.

Oh a nearly forgot the most important thing, smile and have a good smile, and white straight teeth, you can get laid for that alone. No girl wants to kiss jaws. Smiling people are fun positive people.

I also make a point of remembering who I have talked to and if I see them out again ill walk up and say hi. I always try to be very friendly with everyone, even girls I have no interest in.

Remember that the less you say, the less likely you are to say something to mess it up.
 

Exhumed

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I don't think all of those tips apply in all situations though...and I definitely think the boob poking thing would be much more difficult to pull off than a slap on the ass. If you don't have just the right personality I could see it coming off as creepy. And at the same time I see guys giving girls a playful slap on the ass all the time.

And introducing her to your friends? Clearly depends on the friends...some friends unintentionally DLV or ****block.
 

Austin3.8

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Exhumed said:
I don't think all of those tips apply in all situations though...and I definitely think the boob poking thing would be much more difficult to pull off than a slap on the ass. If you don't have just the right personality I could see it coming off as creepy. And at the same time I see guys giving girls a playful slap on the ass all the time.

And introducing her to your friends? Clearly depends on the friends...some friends unintentionally DLV or ****block.
The boob poking thing isnt more difficult it just takes balls that clank, the bonus is that she will never forget it and will always remember you. You can get away with murder if you smile and laugh.
 

speakeasy

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Austin3.8 said:
The boob poking thing isnt more difficult it just takes balls that clank, the bonus is that she will never forget it and will always remember you. You can get away with murder if you smile and laugh.
If you have found a way to make that work, that's cool. But I don't know if that's going to work for most guys. I wouldn't suggest touching a woman's breasts in any way that you don't know. First off, beyond the question of whether that's a good thing to do or not, she could get you in trouble if it backfires. I remember I was with a friend a few years back at the beach. He accidentally brushed against some b*tch. She told a cop standing near by that he did it on purpose(which I know for a fact he didn't) and the cop came over threatening to arrest my friend and shouting him down, telling him if he said one more word back to the cop he was going to jail, then the cop made him leave the area. And he didn't even do anything.

Just be careful about any touching or poking of women's sexual areas when you don't know them.
 

changeherways

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i have a friend who girls think is sexy as hell when they just see him. very outgoing, always fighting for the spotlight, does a lot of the stuff the gurus teach without ever reading a pick-up book... in fact - 6-7 years ago when i was starting out - i was told by people here to watch him and observe because he was a natural and i could learn a lot.

i did and tried to be him and follow all these 'rules' from the gurus too.

problem - that wasnt me and i became a frustrated failure (and left the pua net).

solution - be myself... but with incredible confidence and incredible body language.

im already witty, a good dresser, at least 'cute' to most women, and naturally a mysterious dude.

these days - i blow my friend out... i didnt learn how to be him... i learned how to be myself on seductive steroids...

and i still say very little in crowds
girls take me to meet parents/friends and im anti-social ("what does she see in him")
i have a hard hard hard time with talking to women (and people in general) who im not seducing...
but when my light switch turns on and my words come out - its almost a guarantee that they are going to be laying on my chest that night.

now...

Five To One said:
Its when I was alone with a girl that I would create tension and make a move.
Also texting makes it very easy to fly under the radar.

These guys know how to attract girls but just play it cool in public.
yes yes yes... good to see texting getting respect - it works wonders for me.


Austin3.8 said:
You have to be "non-threatening" which is basically having a desperation factor of zero.
YES! no desperation is key (note: i in no way believe you cant be sexual. i am extremely sexual. but never desperate.


Austin3.8 said:
I talk *very* little to the girl I am interested in, no more than 5 minutes at a time. I then go to a group of friends I know, and another group, and another, until I have made my rounds of the bar and get back to them, and dont parade her around the bar to all your friends, she is a f*ck... that is all. My friends dont even know who I am f*cking or if I am even friends with someone I am talking to.

I am extremely comfortable around girls and don't mind touching them, especially their hair or ill poke one boob or sorta motorboat their cleavage with my finger. Girls that don't know you will sh*t test you after you do it nearly 100% of the time, you can just tell them its a compliment and if they dont like it then they shouldnt have such good looking ____ and then give em a hug to make it all better. In the case of poking one of their boobs, my favorite is apologizing for accidentally making the other boob jealous, the bigger deal you make of it the better... extra points for asking them if you can even it out. I recently poked a girls boob as a opener cuz she had huge boobs, then made a big show of looking away so she would know it was me, ive been f*cking her once or twice a week since January, I had never talked to her and knew none of the girls she was with. Girls like to be touched, they just don't like to be grabbed or molested, notice that I only use one finger when I touch their boobs.
uhmmmm... you have weird game man...




Austin3.8 said:
Do not ever lie to a girl about anything, it will always blow up in your face.

Don't ask for permission, the answer is yes unless otherwise noted. Even then you call call em out for living like its 1950.

Never grab a girl, ever.

Never touch a girls ass unless you are spanking it, and only if she asks you to.

Do not touch a girls waist, it makes them self concious.

Dont touch a girls boobs if they are anything like small, see above reason.

Dont be afraid to introduce yourself to her friends.

Dont hug up on her, space is good.

If she brings it up, tell her from the start that you are not dating, you are just having fun.

Oh a nearly forgot the most important thing, smile and have a good smile, and white straight teeth, you can get laid for that alone. No girl wants to kiss jaws. Smiling people are fun positive people.

I also make a point of remembering who I have talked to and if I see them out again ill walk up and say hi. I always try to be very friendly with everyone, even girls I have no interest in.

Remember that the less you say, the less likely you are to say something to mess it up.
your post started good then became worse. now your sounding like a dr. phil "rules" book.

more power to you though man.... whatever works for you... weird or not...
 

Austin3.8

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Haha yeah, it works for me, thats all I can say.

I should also say that I don't do all that to girls that I want to date.
 
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