National insurance contributions.

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Rainman4707

Master Don Juan

Mar 25, 2019

I live in England.

Someone advised me that if i have a zero hour week then i need to sign on to pay my national insurance contribution. Is this correct?

I have worked hard for ten years doing very long hours, so i'm going to cut my hours down. My boss wont give me as many hours now that i have told him i'm cutting down, so one week i might work twelve. I am going to book a citizens advice appointment to find out more about if i have to take any action towards contributions or anything else i need to do.

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.