Mystery Exposed ! ! !

ChrizZ

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1.) Mystery once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now known solely as the islands.

2.) Women's clothes tear themselves off at the mere sight of Mystery.

3.) Mystery has slept with an infinite number of women... twice, yes including your mum.

4.) Contrary to popular belief, Erik Von Markovik's Power Levitation requires absolutely no gimmicks. The bottle levitates itself out of fear in the mere presence of Mystery.

5.) Mystery's sperm can penetrate 13 condoms, the birth control pill, a brick wall, and the 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line in order to impregnate a woman.

6.) Mystery is allowed to talk about Fight Club AND the Secret Society.

7.) 40,000 years ago, Mystery comprised all 50 people of the 50-person society.

8.) Mystery is the only person to simultaneously neg a woman, perform a freezeout, and disqualify himself during S2 and still succeed in full-closing her.

9.) In demonstrating peacock theory, Mystery once dressed up as a peacock and pulled more ass than ever before.

10.) Mystery is always 7 feet tall, with or without his New Rock Boots.

11.) A woman can dream about Mystery seducing her even when she has never heard of him before.

12.) Any attempt to AMOG Mystery will result in your ultimate seduction, except Mystery doesn't swing that way, *****.

13.) Mystery was born with black nails.

14.) Mystery is the only person to have ever bedded the previously-fictitious SHB20 and her twin sister.

15.) Mystery is the only person able to print the unprintable Venusian Arts Handbook. (No longer true. You are now able to buy the book in print.)

16.) Mystery once had an "off" day when sarging. He only got 13 number closes, 7 kiss closes, and 1 f-close... followed by the girl's friend coming by for a threesome.

17.) Ross Jeffries once opened an HB10 and got a doggy dinner bowl look in less than five minutes from the girl. Mystery scoffed, because Ross Jeffries actually had to talk to her to incite this response.

18.) There are three ways of doing things... the right way, the wrong way, and the Mystery Method way, which is the right way but with lots more sex. (Contributed by Eclectic)

19.) Before Mystery invented the word Pickup artist, it used to be called make-up artist.

20.) The 3 second rule was invented when Mystery's watch stopped at 3 sec.

21.) Mystery is Casanova.

22.) Before Mystery came to ASF, nobody was getting laid. Then Mystery put up a photo of a vagina and everyone nodded in awe.

23.) If it weren't for Mystery, Adam would never have "game" to sleep with Eve.

24.) If Mystery did not exist it would be necessary to invent Him.

25.) Mystery's soul patch comes from a woman's pubic hair.

26.) The fluffy hat does work. Once I enter a club and ALL the hats were attracted to me.

27.) Mystery was the first to use a can opener. He was also the fastest to open a can of tuna. Every other man was using their teeth back then.

28.) There are only 9 phases in the M3 model because Mystery couldn't count to 10.

29.) Bars and clubs were invented AFTER Mystery decided to bring students in-field.

30.) Chris Crocker will soon release a Youtube video titled "Leave Mystery Alone".

31.) The Mind of Mystery is 100% Mystery.
 

X-ecution

Don Juan
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remotecontrol said:
AFC land was funny as hell but this is toooooo long man

The reason mystery gets women is because most guys wouldnt have the ball5 to go around wearing a ridiculous hat and goggles and say "hi my names mystery"
And thats all it is. Women like a guy with stones.
Theres no mystery in mystery

QFT

also

STD's were invented to slow mystery down. not to be outdone, mystery invented the Condom
 

ChrizZ

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remotecontrol said:
AFC land was funny as hell but this is toooooo long man

The reason mystery gets women is because most guys wouldnt have the ball5 to go around wearing a ridiculous hat and goggles and say "hi my names mystery"
And thats all it is. Women like a guy with stones.
Theres no mystery in mystery
Be thankful.

The reason why you exist is because Mystery is the father of every baby ever born.:rolleyes:
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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haha bet he'd enjoy reading this. nice one man.
 

miba

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Mystery is as ugly as **** and dresses like a retard. I know guys in real life who score more chicks than him. Its funny that you stupid chumps idolize him.
 

Effington

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Someone has a man-crush on Mystery, and not the good kind.
 

Jukeboxhero

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Haha...

I hope you guys aren't taking this too seriously, and I doubt he has a Man-Crush On Mystery. I intrepreted it as a little Chuck Norris applied to the "seduction community"
 

ChrizZ

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33.) Mystery invented the abortion.

34.) Mystery gets IOI's from dead chicks.

35.) Mystery originally invented the transition so that he could go from seduction to opening.

36.) Mystery is the 5th attraction switch.
 

ChrizZ

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remotecontrol said:
Looks like you hit your peak with that AFC land post.

This mystery stuff is about as lame as a 3 legged dog
why are you reading it then?
 

miba

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Why don't you go fap to Mystery if you idolize him so much?
 

Phyzzle

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37)Mystery gets more play than a Hokey Pokey tape at a skating rink.

38)Mystery gets more panties wet than a diuretic at an old folks home.

39)Mystery gets more Poon than a Korean phonebook.

40)If you ask, Mystery can tell you how long you have left to live, but only because he shoots everyone who asks with a revolver.
 

War Against Betaism

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I found some of them funny, when you come home from a sh1tty day it doesn't hurt to read a bunch of Chuck Norris jokes.

Mystery has so much game that he lost his virginity before his dad.
 

MMA Juan

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9.) In demonstrating peacock theory, Mystery once dressed up as a peacock and pulled more ass than ever before.
Hahahaha
 

DonRaul

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remotecontrol said:
AFC land was funny as hell but this is toooooo long man

The reason mystery gets women is because most guys wouldnt have the ball5 to go around wearing a ridiculous hat and goggles and say "hi my names mystery"
And thats all it is. Women like a guy with stones.
Theres no mystery in mystery
Thats a load of crap. You can hate the man but honestly, him and specially Style revolutionized the game, plain and simple.

Don't hate the player, hate the game

10000. Mystery is everyone's baby daddy
 

Rhoto

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This one time he met Chuck Norris and took it up the butt.
 

Ken785

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Why are you guys worshiping mystery?...the guy is kinda goofy like...Style is more of a DJ type.
 
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