Alright, I guess I'll start off by introducing myself. I'm currently a junior in high school. It's pretty obvious, I need help with girls, I mean why else am I here. So here's my problem(s).
First of all, I'm Asian. My parents are Chinese immigrants, and like stereotypical Asian parents, they don't see any value in a social life, sports, etc. If I was a one-dimensional study zombie that gets 36s on his ACTs, they'd be thrilled.
So because of this, when I was in fourth grade, my parents sent me to a charter school since it would be good for me. I feel that this really messed up my social development, I was just a little kid who only cared about football. I had friends in the "popular" group in elementary school, if you can call it such a thing. I had great friends who I wouldn't see for the next four years. Instead of growing the way normal kids do, I had to spend 5th-8th grade with maybe 30-40 kids at a charter/magnet school. Now I was comfortable with everyone there, but being used to such a familiar group of people seriously harmed my development.
Then high school comes, and due to the special school, I happen to be ahead in most of my classes. Combined with the fact that now I was sort of a "new" kid, freshman year wasn't too great for me. My heart was still in sports, but football was far too "dangerous" according to my parents. As such, I went through freshman year eventually developing a few close friends, but not much outside of that. Girls were practically non-existant in my life that year, although I suffered from terrible one-itis with one I "met" in English class. I had a huge crush on her, and despite that, I only managed to talk to her no more than ten times that year.
Sophomore year improved, since I ran track spring my freshman year, which was enough to convince my parents to let me try football. Through the two sports I met many of the "popular" crowd once again, some of them the same kids I was friends with in elementary school. I also thought that this would by me some "status" with girls, but although they noticed me more, I was still a puss when it came to actually talking to them. I did however get my first "action" of my life, grinding with a girl at the HC dance, I didn't feel the need to show up freshman year. However, I did open up much more, and I built solid relationships with most of that year's senior and junior class. My own class was still difficult to break into, probably due to my advanced classes, but I was started to be well-liked by most people. During track that year, I finally started talking to girls, but only to later find out that I had landed in the dreaded friend zone.
This year I feel like I have improved more, although there is still work to do. Football this year really helped me bond with the senior class, and I always have people to talk to as I walk down the halls. My main group of core friends now have turned into the "stoner" crowd, which I actually welcomed to some degree as I have a more close-knit group to chill with. However, our group from last year now has essentially been divided between those that do smoke and those that don't, with me caught in the middle. I've started talking more to girls, espescially when I'm with my friends, but they tend to notice my friends more. It doesn't help that I'm an Asian in a community of mostly white people, with most asians being refugees, who tend to hang amongst themselves and have a bad reputation here as low class people. Many times this year girls have told me that I was the "coolest" asian they ever met, which I want to take as a complement. I got a girls number for the first time this year as well, another accomplishment for me.
However, I still feel a bit of social anxiety when it comes to approaching girls, espescially those at my school. I feel perfectly calm when talking to guys I've never met now, and even girls who aren't from my school. I think its the fear of rejection, as well as the fact that I don't want things spread about me. I know that this fear has to go, but I'm having a hard time doing so.
So sosuave, I've read countless other posts about how this site as changed their lives, as well as real life success journals such as sageproduct and bongduy's. I want to turn my life around, and be the guy that I envisioned myself as being when I was young. I want to be an alpha, I want to be a DJ, so the thing is how do I do it?
Sorry about the long-windedness of this post. I know I probably didnt explain some things clearly, but I'm trying to compress for the most part the last four years of my life in one post. Hopefully you'll get a feel for my situation and be able to help me. Thanks.
Kev
First of all, I'm Asian. My parents are Chinese immigrants, and like stereotypical Asian parents, they don't see any value in a social life, sports, etc. If I was a one-dimensional study zombie that gets 36s on his ACTs, they'd be thrilled.
So because of this, when I was in fourth grade, my parents sent me to a charter school since it would be good for me. I feel that this really messed up my social development, I was just a little kid who only cared about football. I had friends in the "popular" group in elementary school, if you can call it such a thing. I had great friends who I wouldn't see for the next four years. Instead of growing the way normal kids do, I had to spend 5th-8th grade with maybe 30-40 kids at a charter/magnet school. Now I was comfortable with everyone there, but being used to such a familiar group of people seriously harmed my development.
Then high school comes, and due to the special school, I happen to be ahead in most of my classes. Combined with the fact that now I was sort of a "new" kid, freshman year wasn't too great for me. My heart was still in sports, but football was far too "dangerous" according to my parents. As such, I went through freshman year eventually developing a few close friends, but not much outside of that. Girls were practically non-existant in my life that year, although I suffered from terrible one-itis with one I "met" in English class. I had a huge crush on her, and despite that, I only managed to talk to her no more than ten times that year.
Sophomore year improved, since I ran track spring my freshman year, which was enough to convince my parents to let me try football. Through the two sports I met many of the "popular" crowd once again, some of them the same kids I was friends with in elementary school. I also thought that this would by me some "status" with girls, but although they noticed me more, I was still a puss when it came to actually talking to them. I did however get my first "action" of my life, grinding with a girl at the HC dance, I didn't feel the need to show up freshman year. However, I did open up much more, and I built solid relationships with most of that year's senior and junior class. My own class was still difficult to break into, probably due to my advanced classes, but I was started to be well-liked by most people. During track that year, I finally started talking to girls, but only to later find out that I had landed in the dreaded friend zone.
This year I feel like I have improved more, although there is still work to do. Football this year really helped me bond with the senior class, and I always have people to talk to as I walk down the halls. My main group of core friends now have turned into the "stoner" crowd, which I actually welcomed to some degree as I have a more close-knit group to chill with. However, our group from last year now has essentially been divided between those that do smoke and those that don't, with me caught in the middle. I've started talking more to girls, espescially when I'm with my friends, but they tend to notice my friends more. It doesn't help that I'm an Asian in a community of mostly white people, with most asians being refugees, who tend to hang amongst themselves and have a bad reputation here as low class people. Many times this year girls have told me that I was the "coolest" asian they ever met, which I want to take as a complement. I got a girls number for the first time this year as well, another accomplishment for me.
However, I still feel a bit of social anxiety when it comes to approaching girls, espescially those at my school. I feel perfectly calm when talking to guys I've never met now, and even girls who aren't from my school. I think its the fear of rejection, as well as the fact that I don't want things spread about me. I know that this fear has to go, but I'm having a hard time doing so.
So sosuave, I've read countless other posts about how this site as changed their lives, as well as real life success journals such as sageproduct and bongduy's. I want to turn my life around, and be the guy that I envisioned myself as being when I was young. I want to be an alpha, I want to be a DJ, so the thing is how do I do it?
Sorry about the long-windedness of this post. I know I probably didnt explain some things clearly, but I'm trying to compress for the most part the last four years of my life in one post. Hopefully you'll get a feel for my situation and be able to help me. Thanks.
Kev
