Hi guys.
in this thread im gonna discuss myself and how my up bringing ( which could be simmilar to others ) has affected my frame of mind regarding women and other matters we experience in life..
kinda long , sorry guys so just take a deep breath before you start
A little about me
im 25 yrs old and studying to complete my masters, general good health, not fat or skinny and my body gets better every day thanks to working out. I would regard my self as of above average intelligence, fairly attractive ( as ive been told a coupla times )
I grew up with mom,pop and 5 sisters. YES, 5 sisters. Let me tell you about growing up with 5 sisters, for a start you can LEARN a hell of a lot about women and the flip side is that it effects your character and attitude enormously. Another thing i experienced was me being pampered or molly cuddled by my parents because being the only son amongst 5 sisters is really something. So i got special treatment.
I remember playing with my sisters throughout childhood up until i found some male friends and fell in love with soccer. All i used to do was play soccer, trade soccer cards, marbles etc etc.
I didnt have to compete for anything at home because EVERYTHING was done for me and given to me and there werent any arguments about stuff much because most of the time i got my way. That really made me into a wuss BIGTIME.
What we are told early on effects us TODAY
When a loved one or someone you trust tells you something at an early age, or gives you advice , then you tend to burn that into your mind for the rest of your life and accept it as the truth.
Another thing which can have the same effect is that if you keep hearing certain things about a topic or subject over and over again , this in turn can have the same effect. Since i grew up with 5 sisters you can guess what i heard over and over again.
"women DONT NEED MEN, it is MEN WHO NEED WOMEN"
"men are pigs!"
"men are perverts"
"yuk, did u see that guy following us, what a creep!"
"men are idiots"
.... you get the general idea.
I remember ever since i was young till this very day , my sisters friends would come over and visit them to talk about stuff. Obviously i wasnt allowed to take part in these "highly secret meetings"
They would talk about soaps on tv, other girls, clothes/make up, and guys.
I often over heard them talking about how they were all hit on by AFC's WBAFC's , creeps etc etc ALL the time. It was unbelievable. They were so used to it. I also over heard them "men bashing" so much that it frightend me.
Just a note here so we dont go off track* 2 of my sisters that were in high school back then were FEMINISTS. Yes siree. They used to have an active feminist woman attend the school weekly to lecture the girls about "men and theyre ways". I would hear all of this around my house, like i was an enemy.
It was obvious how i was effected by this. I thought:
"huh?!?!? , are men really like that? wow , women really get treated badly, if i hear my sisters talk about this stuff to each other and theyre friends, then other girls might talk about me like this to one another! i dont wana be labelled a creep!
I cant let that happen SO IM GONNA BE EXTRA NICE TO EVERY SINGLE WOMAN I MEET and NOT UPSET THEM AT ALL. Women are poor creatures and are suffering because of us men."
ALL that was being fed into my no longer pure mind.
There i was, an innocent little boy who was being exposed to feminist thinking at such a vulnerable age
and id also hear this on the flipside....
"boyband member of group XYZ is sooo cute, or actor X is so good lookin "
"wow did you see that guy, hes so hot"
"the dentist/pharmasist/doctor is really good looking over at XYZ/I]"
...again you get the general idea.
This effected me in TWO ways.
1st.) I was being compared to these SO CALLED hot guys by my sisters and theyre friends. This would happen when i was growing up and i was made to feel VERY inferior. I had zero confidence and my self esteem was non existent. I thought "i couldnt compare with these guys, im skinny and ugly
"
2nd.) I thought "WOW, these guys are LUCKY that girls like my sisters and theyre friends have accepted them and think that these guys are hot, WOW WOW WOW these guys must really be something special so that girls like them".
I thought it was natural that women were on pedestals and swooped down once in a while to take the LUCKY FEW men that caught theyre eye from high up above. I would honestly believe that men had to be "very impressive" to a woman for her to choose him and that women dont really NEED men, and that MEN NEED WOMEN. All this was being fed into the mind of an innocent young boy growing up. This also made me feel down because i thought i was MISSING out on ALOT of girls whilst other guys where getting it on.
i started high school....oh no
I started high school around age 14, and at this time i started going through
puberty. It was at this time that i really needed a father figure around me to tel l me whats up. A father figure or a big brother or something. I had no one. My pop was always working, i mean ALWAYS. We werent as well off as we are now, we had just enough to get by. I dont diss my pop for anything , HE was a hardworking man supporting his family and his parents ( my granpa granma ). He had to handle that, it was on his head. So during my teens i didnt see my pop much. I had no one to tell me about how to grow up and be a MAN.
My mom was working too but not as much as my pop, so they didnt really have time to teach me about lessons in life or what not.
Obviously in high school , i saw GIRLS differently. I was mesmerized by some of them, afraid even. I looked at female moviestars / singers differently. You know how it is
During all this i decided that i want a girl but i didnt know how to do it.
I had no one to ask. My pop wasnt there to tell me something like:
"Son, you either handle girls or they handle you. Grab your bolls , stop whining and handle your business"
instead i had my sisters tell me:
"girls like a guy with a nice heart , and sweet and fit and goodlookin and caring and honest and sincere and cuddly etc etc...."
You all know where that got me , NO WHERE but crash and burn city baby , oh and a lot of heartache. What made the heartache worse was that my best friend was very goodlookin, the boy had girls falling all over him and i didnt. Now when i say goodlookin i mean it. I wont hate on the guy, he was a chick magnet.
This made me feel even worse, maybe jealous as to why he gets girls and i dont, and that i could never be that attractive. Just pure bad luck of having a very attractive friend. Although i look much better now, i can say he has nothin on me now
Hes still great guy though
double standards about expressing sexuaity
This was another thing that really screwed my mindset up. My sisters openly talked about guys infront of me. They discussed them and how attractive they were. Wether it was a guy they knew or a celebrity. They were expressing theyre sexuality openly.
During my teens, my sisters had pictures of backstreet boys or tom cruise / brad pitt / etc etc plastered in theyre rooms. They didnt care , they saw it was a normal thing to do. It was.
If i ever said something about expressing my sexuality id get a "ugh, pervert" remark or something so i never did it nor spoke about it ever.
Back then i had a thing for pammy anderson, and i remember i had to hide my pictures of her in bikinis and stuff under my bed. Girls look at guys showin off theyre pecs and six packs, guys look at girls in bikinis , simple as.
All this "not expressing my sexuality" was carrying through when encountering girls. I figured that when i talked openly about my sexual desires as a man or comment on beautiful women, then girls dont like that because i look creepy and perverted. But i thought "its ok for girls to express theyre sexuality openly". I figured thats how it was, hell thats how it was in my house so thats how it is period. Thats what i honestly believed.
So along with not expressing my sexuality , trying to keep girls happy/ not creeping them out, believing my self to be unnattractive and unw
orthy to girls, hoping that some day a girl would swoop down from her golden throne in the sky and choose / approach me, or maybe some day a girl would give me a chance or i will just GET LUCKY, i was transformed into a SUPREME NICEGUY.
I dont blame myself , i was FED THIS SHYT from CHILDHOOD!. I couldnt believe why girls didnt want me, i was SO NICE! how could they resist me.
Because of all of the above, i really felt nervous around girls.
I thought, "WOW, a girl infront of me, shes talking back to me AND SHE IS DROP DEAD GORGEOUS, How am i supposed to respond in order to not scare her away and like me? what can i do to get her impressed and interested? there must be something, omg she can have ANY guy she wants, im not good enough for this goddess."
That is called CHUMPDOM my friends. Elite CHUMPDOM.
in this thread im gonna discuss myself and how my up bringing ( which could be simmilar to others ) has affected my frame of mind regarding women and other matters we experience in life..
kinda long , sorry guys so just take a deep breath before you start
A little about me
im 25 yrs old and studying to complete my masters, general good health, not fat or skinny and my body gets better every day thanks to working out. I would regard my self as of above average intelligence, fairly attractive ( as ive been told a coupla times )
I grew up with mom,pop and 5 sisters. YES, 5 sisters. Let me tell you about growing up with 5 sisters, for a start you can LEARN a hell of a lot about women and the flip side is that it effects your character and attitude enormously. Another thing i experienced was me being pampered or molly cuddled by my parents because being the only son amongst 5 sisters is really something. So i got special treatment.
I remember playing with my sisters throughout childhood up until i found some male friends and fell in love with soccer. All i used to do was play soccer, trade soccer cards, marbles etc etc.
I didnt have to compete for anything at home because EVERYTHING was done for me and given to me and there werent any arguments about stuff much because most of the time i got my way. That really made me into a wuss BIGTIME.
What we are told early on effects us TODAY
When a loved one or someone you trust tells you something at an early age, or gives you advice , then you tend to burn that into your mind for the rest of your life and accept it as the truth.
Another thing which can have the same effect is that if you keep hearing certain things about a topic or subject over and over again , this in turn can have the same effect. Since i grew up with 5 sisters you can guess what i heard over and over again.
"women DONT NEED MEN, it is MEN WHO NEED WOMEN"
"men are pigs!"
"men are perverts"
"yuk, did u see that guy following us, what a creep!"
"men are idiots"
.... you get the general idea.
I remember ever since i was young till this very day , my sisters friends would come over and visit them to talk about stuff. Obviously i wasnt allowed to take part in these "highly secret meetings"
They would talk about soaps on tv, other girls, clothes/make up, and guys.
I often over heard them talking about how they were all hit on by AFC's WBAFC's , creeps etc etc ALL the time. It was unbelievable. They were so used to it. I also over heard them "men bashing" so much that it frightend me.
Just a note here so we dont go off track* 2 of my sisters that were in high school back then were FEMINISTS. Yes siree. They used to have an active feminist woman attend the school weekly to lecture the girls about "men and theyre ways". I would hear all of this around my house, like i was an enemy.
It was obvious how i was effected by this. I thought:
"huh?!?!? , are men really like that? wow , women really get treated badly, if i hear my sisters talk about this stuff to each other and theyre friends, then other girls might talk about me like this to one another! i dont wana be labelled a creep!
I cant let that happen SO IM GONNA BE EXTRA NICE TO EVERY SINGLE WOMAN I MEET and NOT UPSET THEM AT ALL. Women are poor creatures and are suffering because of us men."
ALL that was being fed into my no longer pure mind.
There i was, an innocent little boy who was being exposed to feminist thinking at such a vulnerable age
and id also hear this on the flipside....
"boyband member of group XYZ is sooo cute, or actor X is so good lookin "
"wow did you see that guy, hes so hot"
"the dentist/pharmasist/doctor is really good looking over at XYZ/I]"
...again you get the general idea.
This effected me in TWO ways.
1st.) I was being compared to these SO CALLED hot guys by my sisters and theyre friends. This would happen when i was growing up and i was made to feel VERY inferior. I had zero confidence and my self esteem was non existent. I thought "i couldnt compare with these guys, im skinny and ugly
2nd.) I thought "WOW, these guys are LUCKY that girls like my sisters and theyre friends have accepted them and think that these guys are hot, WOW WOW WOW these guys must really be something special so that girls like them".
I thought it was natural that women were on pedestals and swooped down once in a while to take the LUCKY FEW men that caught theyre eye from high up above. I would honestly believe that men had to be "very impressive" to a woman for her to choose him and that women dont really NEED men, and that MEN NEED WOMEN. All this was being fed into the mind of an innocent young boy growing up. This also made me feel down because i thought i was MISSING out on ALOT of girls whilst other guys where getting it on.
i started high school....oh no
I started high school around age 14, and at this time i started going through
puberty. It was at this time that i really needed a father figure around me to tel l me whats up. A father figure or a big brother or something. I had no one. My pop was always working, i mean ALWAYS. We werent as well off as we are now, we had just enough to get by. I dont diss my pop for anything , HE was a hardworking man supporting his family and his parents ( my granpa granma ). He had to handle that, it was on his head. So during my teens i didnt see my pop much. I had no one to tell me about how to grow up and be a MAN.
My mom was working too but not as much as my pop, so they didnt really have time to teach me about lessons in life or what not.
Obviously in high school , i saw GIRLS differently. I was mesmerized by some of them, afraid even. I looked at female moviestars / singers differently. You know how it is
During all this i decided that i want a girl but i didnt know how to do it.
I had no one to ask. My pop wasnt there to tell me something like:
"Son, you either handle girls or they handle you. Grab your bolls , stop whining and handle your business"
instead i had my sisters tell me:
"girls like a guy with a nice heart , and sweet and fit and goodlookin and caring and honest and sincere and cuddly etc etc...."
You all know where that got me , NO WHERE but crash and burn city baby , oh and a lot of heartache. What made the heartache worse was that my best friend was very goodlookin, the boy had girls falling all over him and i didnt. Now when i say goodlookin i mean it. I wont hate on the guy, he was a chick magnet.
This made me feel even worse, maybe jealous as to why he gets girls and i dont, and that i could never be that attractive. Just pure bad luck of having a very attractive friend. Although i look much better now, i can say he has nothin on me now
Hes still great guy though
double standards about expressing sexuaity
This was another thing that really screwed my mindset up. My sisters openly talked about guys infront of me. They discussed them and how attractive they were. Wether it was a guy they knew or a celebrity. They were expressing theyre sexuality openly.
During my teens, my sisters had pictures of backstreet boys or tom cruise / brad pitt / etc etc plastered in theyre rooms. They didnt care , they saw it was a normal thing to do. It was.
If i ever said something about expressing my sexuality id get a "ugh, pervert" remark or something so i never did it nor spoke about it ever.
Back then i had a thing for pammy anderson, and i remember i had to hide my pictures of her in bikinis and stuff under my bed. Girls look at guys showin off theyre pecs and six packs, guys look at girls in bikinis , simple as.
All this "not expressing my sexuality" was carrying through when encountering girls. I figured that when i talked openly about my sexual desires as a man or comment on beautiful women, then girls dont like that because i look creepy and perverted. But i thought "its ok for girls to express theyre sexuality openly". I figured thats how it was, hell thats how it was in my house so thats how it is period. Thats what i honestly believed.
So along with not expressing my sexuality , trying to keep girls happy/ not creeping them out, believing my self to be unnattractive and unw
orthy to girls, hoping that some day a girl would swoop down from her golden throne in the sky and choose / approach me, or maybe some day a girl would give me a chance or i will just GET LUCKY, i was transformed into a SUPREME NICEGUY.
I dont blame myself , i was FED THIS SHYT from CHILDHOOD!. I couldnt believe why girls didnt want me, i was SO NICE! how could they resist me.
Because of all of the above, i really felt nervous around girls.
I thought, "WOW, a girl infront of me, shes talking back to me AND SHE IS DROP DEAD GORGEOUS, How am i supposed to respond in order to not scare her away and like me? what can i do to get her impressed and interested? there must be something, omg she can have ANY guy she wants, im not good enough for this goddess."
That is called CHUMPDOM my friends. Elite CHUMPDOM.