"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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My shink's hamster

backbreaker

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So I had a meeting with my shrink yesterday. I see her once every 2 weeks. We got on the subject of men and women or what not and she was telling me that men think they know what women want but they don't, beucase well my boyfriend has a pot belly and he's so confident. I was like well **** woman you're 50 lol. no offense. i mean,s he's actually not ugly at all, and i have a thing for women who dress up business like and she likes to wear really expensive **** me pumps, but she's still 50 lol. and she looks 50. she's not one of those 50 year olds that looks 35 or ****, she's 50. of course your boyfriend has a pot belly you old **** lol.

now she trying to make it sound like that's what she wanted all along
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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logicallefty

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She knows that women's heads are fvvcked up and knows you know that. So she is trying to tear down your confidence and make you doubt yourself because the more men that know what you know, the less power women have as a whole.
 

dasein

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Hope you aren't paying much. That sounds like a crappy shrink.
 

Cejay

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I briefly dated a shrink.

It was one of the worst relationships ever. She was highly insecure, jealous, clingy, wouldn't respect my alone time, needed constant attention or she freaked out and sent nasty texts, on and on.

CJ.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Bokanovsky

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I'm glad that you are finally getting professional help, which you clearly need. Unfortunately, it seems like you are getting it from the wrong source. A 50-year-old broad that wears "fvck me pumps" and talks about her boyfriend and "what women want"? Are you seriously paying money for that? Just find some bored housewife at the mall and chat her up. She'd talk about that sh!t all day for free.
 

backbreaker

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Yeah but you're mom isn't available so I dont' have a choice lol
 

Alvafe

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backbreaker said:
Yeah but you're mom isn't available so I dont' have a choice lol

oh but i'm sure you're is


serious mom calling? are you so lacking of arguments to have to use this?

only thing I can question here is why post this? venting? that is ok, but why you see this shrink to have this kind of talk? did you try to talk with other?
 

Peaks&Valleys

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How old is her boyfriend?
 

backbreaker

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Peaks&Valleys said:
How old is her boyfriend?
she showed me a pic if i had to guess late 30's early 40's

been going to this woman for 3 years we have a pretty good report and we shoot the **** sometimes
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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logicallefty

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Bokanovsky said:
I'm glad that you are finally getting professional help, which you clearly need. Unfortunately, it seems like you are getting it from the wrong source. A 50-year-old broad that wears "fvck me pumps" and talks about her boyfriend and "what women want"? Are you seriously paying money for that? Just find some bored housewife at the mall and chat her up. She'd talk about that sh!t all day for free.
Where in the f\_/ck did this come from? What did backbreaker do to you to make you think he "clearly needs" professional help? He is one of the *few* happily married men on this site maybe we can all learn a thing or two from him.

I swear the maturity level on here is going downhill fast. WTF????

Bokanovsky, why don't you go pick on the high schoolers in the HS forum. You are clearly acting like one.
 

zekko

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BB, I do have to wonder why you are seeing a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist/whatever. I know you've talked about it before, but I forgot. I can't imagine paying someone to talk to them for three years, even if I did believe in shrinks (which I don't). Maybe you're becoming too Californian :rolleyes:
 

evan12

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zekko said:
BB, I do have to wonder why you are seeing a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist/whatever. I know you've talked about it before, but I forgot. I can't imagine paying someone to talk to them for three years, even if I did believe in shrinks (which I don't). Maybe you're becoming too Californian :rolleyes:
I thought BB is the most happy person in this forum, did I miss something during my absent from this forums ?
 

Bokanovsky

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logicallefty said:
He is one of the *few* happily married men on this site maybe we can all learn a thing or two from him.
Either you're a little naive or you haven't read enough of his posts. BB has been trolling this board for over a decade. He's not even a real person - at least not the person he pretends to be on this board. He's been exposed as a fraud by Burroughs and others on a number of occasions. Do a search before you start jumping out of your skin white-knighting for BB.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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speed dawg

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Can we finally close the book on backbreaker and ban his fairy @ss? If this post, then his subsequent follow ups, haven't proven that he's nothing more than a pimple on this site's asscrack, then nothing will. I'm really just not sure about the moderators' agendas over the past few months/years. Why is this self-absorbed tool allowed to remain?
 

logicallefty

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To all of you Detectives on this site like Bokanovsky and speed_dawg who have done an FBI level background checks on backbreaker, please list/articulate your accusations against him? I and I'm sure many others are curious. Truth be told I haven't background checked him or any poster on SS. I take what people post at face value. Please enlighten us with your investigation. Maybe we can all learn something.
 

zekko

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evan12 said:
I thought BB is the most happy person in this forum, did I miss something during my absent from this forums ?
I think the shrink visits have something to do with his previous drug use. Still, I can't imagine going to sessions like that for three years unless I was court ordered to do so. And even then I'd be looking for ways to get out of it. Doesn't sound like much fun to me.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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zekko said:
I can't imagine going to sessions like that for three years unless I was court ordered to do so. And even then I'd be looking for ways to get out of it. Doesn't sound like much fun to me.
Shrinks operate a lot like the government. They "solve" problems, but in doing so they create/unearth more "problems" that require more problem solving, which create more problems...ad infinitum.

If you've got the cash or insurance, and you're willing to pay, I imagine most shrinks would be glad to keep you coming for a good while.

Just imagine of other businesses operated that way. Like if you took your car in to get it fixed, and he fixed on problem, and purposely created another so you'd keep coming back.

Obviously if people had a specific problem they wanted to fix (like a leaky radiator hose) and the psych kept bring out more junk, they would go somewhere else.

Must be something else going on. (In the general shrink-patient relationship).

Need for validation? Need for approval? Need for emotional maintenance?

I used to teach English in Japan, and a lot of adult students didn't study because they wanted to learn English, they just wanted somebody to talk to on a regular basis, that they knew would always be there and never reject them.

That kind of stability could be comforting to a LOT of people.
 

Die Hard

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Seriously, guys... Just don't read BB's posts if they annoy you, it's that simple.

As I see it, people can start threads for several reasons:

1. To seek advice
2. To give advice
3. To think out loud, write down their thoughts like one does in a diary.

Many of BB's threads fall into the third category. These threads are like rhetorical questions, it seems like the writer is asking for a response but he really isn't. You don't have to read them and you don't have to reply to them, no one is forcing you to do either...

Furthermore, the guy gives good advice here and there and sometimes has interesting thoughts to share. Read and absorb anything that's helpful from his posts and ignore anything that annoys you from his posts, no need to get all worked up!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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