My self-improvement program

[Energy25]

She sent me a text message today saying she met some other guy and she doesn't date two guys at once cause it's against her principles.

Ouch. Well I guess she let you down easy...

 

[snowdog]

Yo Snowdog, read a little of your journal. Good job getting this success with women thing handled in your life. One thing that has been helping me lately is to have a plan for the week all set ahead of time and when you approach, do the invite right then and there, strike while the iron is hot. Last few sets for me were like this and they went much better then in the past where I would collect the number and then try to make plans. I'm horrible horrible with text, but great in person so I'm learning to use that to my advantage. A number for the sake of a number really has no value, set the 'meet up', then get the number. Cheers brother

That's a good suggestion. Thanks for that.

Ouch. Well I guess she let you down easy...

Yea, oh well. I survived, hehe.

Listen to him, man. He's trying to help you and it's good advice too. Don't just dismiss it like that.

Yea, you're right.

Uhh ahh i dont know sorry is exactly what you sent her.

Your game is weak because you used that tone with her during the entire time. It's no surprise that she was giving you such *****y, short replies.

The idea of being 'vague, weird and random' is not good. Act like you are a cool guy. Your text and conversation should be smooth, cool and aloof. Trying too hard is the killer of text and phone game.

Who ever said being relentless with chasing a girl was a good thing? The oldschool move is to wait 3 days before calling. Playing hard to get is the real way to get girls. Dont show so much interest.

This is also what i meant about being real with yourself. Who gives a **** if you were laughing when you wrote that, it doesn't matter what you write in your journal, its the outcome for you thats important. You are more talk than action, talk less.

Ease, if you're reading this. I like the advice, I just didn't like the tone. Like I said, I'm very real with myself. I've posted this many times before, I used to be ultra shy and awkward. Like you wouldn't believe. I'm not where I want to be yet, but as long as there is positive progress, I'm happy about that. I just need some more time. The last two years have been a rollercoaster ride, man. I completely changed the way I looked at things the 20 years before that. My identity made a radical shift and I still need to adjust to that. Turning into a different someone takes time and energy. I'm moving forward, slowly but steady with ups and downs. Today was a little down, but tomorrow I'll get up again.

You seem to be good with women. In your world, this stuff is nothing special. But to me, this is all a big deal. I'm new at this sh*t and I still need to learn a lot of stuff. You and I know that reading the rules of how it's supposed to go isn't enough. You got good because you went out there and failed many times till you got it, right? Just cut me some slack, will ye?

 

[Energy25]

Alright alright, just take it easy and watch your blood pressure bro.

All he did was give you advice. You clearly need it too, judging by your last mishap.

 

[snowdog]

Read my previous post, I already acknowledged that.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

lol, how many more years is this thread going to continue before I read a lay report?

I check this thread every now and then and think to myself "okay this update for sure he's banged some chick" to no avail.

I gotta stop getting my hopes up.

 

[snowdog]

I'm sorry this thread doesn't provide you with the entertainment you want, because that was the main goal when I started this thread.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

In all seriousness, let me give you some advice. When a girl offers alternative means of communication such as Facebook or Myspace, it's going nowhere. I've gotten the number and had girls offer that in a text. I laugh and decline. I don't play games. What am I supposed to do with their Facebook? Poke them? If you're offering these girls your Facebook address, that's even worse. You're not in highschool anymore. I won't even bother going into that.

In one of your field reports you saw a hot girl in the bar and went over to say hi. There was a little bit of flirting, you kept it light and playful. Instead of just going for the number, you stuck around... then she went into how she was in a serious relationship. At one point you said to her something like "Go over to that guy over there and tell him to buy you a drink. You're hot enough." You're trying to make another guy look like an idiot to impress this girl? Don't be a tool.

People wonder why I say do not sit around talking to a girl for 15-20 minutes in a bar. This is what happens. The conversation goes stale and things get awkward.

In another field report you walk up to a girl and the first words out of your mouth were "Look, I barely know you but I know I wanna hang out with you"

I cringe just reading that.

Things like this seem to be a common occurrence throughout your log. It's great that you can talk to girls with ease now, but it doesn't mean you can get away with saying awkward things to them. You have to tighten your game up.

And lay off the booze, it's already turned you into a borderline alcoholic in your quest to get laid.

 

[snowdog]

Alright man, thanks for the tips. I'm still learning this stuff and I need to get my sh*t together.

Do keep in mind that those things you quote are from older posts. I didn't make the same mistakes again after others had pointed them out.

And yea, I'm cutting my boozing back. It's almost getting ugly.

 

[cool dude]

**** man, reading your **** really helps me feel not alone.

 

[snowdog]

^Thanks, man.

Here's an update to cheer up the mood.


Yea, I went out yesterday. No clubbing, just hanging out with two of my best buddies who I have known forever. I were meeting at some outside bar. I got there early and had to wait for half an hour.

The barmaid was really hot. Blonde beauty, beautiful smile, great. I sat down and just started talking with her. She was cool too. I took it real easy and didn't force or push anything. No rush, it's all good. It was a friendly, fun conversation and I made her laugh a couple of times. We had a lot of things in common, there was good eye contact, we clicked. She bought me a couple of beers. She was from the same town I am from, she did the same study but at another school..., we had lots of things to talk about.

At one point:
Me: "I want to grab a drink with you outside your work hours, how about it?"
Her: "Oh, I'm sorry. I might have given you the wrong impression. I have a boyfriend for over two years now. "
Me: "Do you want another one?"

She cracked up and laughed and turned a little red. It was good, hehe. After that, the vibe wasn't broken, it was exactly the same and it didn't bother me at all in fact. We kept talking and it was still fun. Whatever you feel, she feels. It's really true. I kept my cool and didn't let it effect me and she ignored the whole thing.

My buddies arrived and we sat at the bar and had drinks.

I introduced her to my friends.

Me: "Hey guys, this is [Rachel]. She's not only beautiful, but she's also from the same town as us"

She laughed and got a little shy. She loved it. My buddies laughed as well. "Snowdog, our Casanova" one of em said with almost a proud smile on his face.

I couldn't do anything wrong from that point on, really. When I ordered a whiskey she poured me a quadriple one. Seriously, it was like half a soda glass. We almost drank for free that night.

This night out with my buddies reminded me again how lucky I am to have such great friends. They're like family to me, really. At one point one of my friends left cos he had to work the next day. When the other one took off to buy some cigarettes I was alone with [Rachel] again. I don't really exactly remember what was said because I was pretty intoxicated by then, but it was something like this:

Me: "You know, it's really a shame you have a boyfriend."
Her: "Yea, I kinda agree."
Me: "We have so many things in common. And you're such a cool, hot chick as well."
Her: "Stop it, I can't handle compliments that well" (her smile was just priceless)
Me: "Well, you know what? Give me your Facebook, maybe we'll run into each other someday."
Her: "Sure, that's fine. Yea, I think I'd like that to happen"

It went f*cking smooth, man. It was awesome, and it was almost autopilot. There was such a great vibe between us. I don't know em as well as some guys here, but I'm pretty sure she gave me the "I wanna f*ck you" eyes a bunch of times.

So, I added her the next day, and what do you know she accepts my invite instantly. And yea, her entire page is like spammed by her boyfriend and more than half the photo's on there they're both in the picture. Fair enough, I can live with that.

I really needed something like this and it was good. I caught up with my friends, who've I sort of neglected because I was kinda obsessed with this pickup thing. Hanging out with good friends without another reason than just to hang out can be great too.

Plus, I found out that I just have this in me. It went so natural, I really cheered myself up in the end. I can do this, I know that now. I gotta stop obsessing over this, cos that doesn't lead to anything either.


All in all a good Friday night. Valuable lessons learned while having a good time with good friends. There's not much more I could ask for, really.

33,425

 

[snowdog]

Too tired to do a write up right now. Alarm clock goes at 6:30 and I get home at 19:30. After that I ate and went off to the gym and I just got home (It's 0.30 right now, alarm ETA 6 hours). My internship is some heavy sh*t, but it's all good. I notice that having lots of stuff to do is good for me.

Anyway, I cold approached a girl I was sitting with in the train today. Talked the whole 30 minute train trip and it went great. Got her number, feels good, seems really open for a meet up. It was actually easy, lol. The hardest part was pushing myself to do it, and even that wasn't that hard.

I'll write it down in more detail when I got the time & energy.


33,575

 

[todays_news]

Me: "Hey guys, this is [Rachel]. She's not only beautiful, but she's also from the same town as us"

"And you're such a cool, hot chick as well."

Please, for the love of god, cut this out. You placed her on a pedestal having met her for a few hours... When approaching, never compliment a girl on looks. You have to cool and aloof and make her chase you, tease her, laugh at her do NOT fvcking compliment her like that. You saying garbage like that only undermimes that and shows how easy you are to get. Where's the challenge??

"Stop it, I can't handle compliments that well" (her smile was just priceless)

Yeah, I'd loved to have seen that smile to. The sweet smile of awkwardness.


Remember, theres no such thing as a facebook close. Why? Because its pointless.

(Ease...)

Dont show so much interest.

Fundamental.

You didnt listen to his advice, because you slapped your interest and worshipping on thick. LISTEN and start being the chased over the chaser.

This is the first time I've read this blog, but GreatHornedOwl's comment of:

lol, how many more years is this thread going to continue before I read a lay report?

I check this thread every now and then and think to myself "okay this update for sure he's banged some chick" to no avail.

I gotta stop getting my hopes up.

....would suggest you need wholesale changes to your game. Your confidence with girls is good, but thats not uncommon. Its your game
that needs work.

 

[snowdog]

If you'd read the whole thing, you would probably understand why it's taking me a while. I started out at point zero, so yea, I make mistakes and learning takes time.

Your confidence with girls is good

That took me almost two years, by the way. I couldn't even look at em.

But I see what you're trying to say.

Ignore the useless Facebook sh*t for a moment there, when I asked it, I knew that sh*t is useless. I just wanted to CLOSE. Anything. Practice.

But, it felt like the natural thing to say at that time, and her response was positive. It felt like I delivered it just right. During the conversation I didn't put her on a pedestal at all, I was cool, I messed with her every now and then. Years ago back in my super nerd days when I didn't knew anything at all, I said the same things and got blown off like crazy. Now, as far as I could tell, it lead to a positive response.

Are you saying one should never, ever give compliments? Plus, she was pouring us drinks for free the whole time. It just felt right to me at the time. I thought it's only bad to tell a girl she's cute if you think it will make her like you more. I said it because I meant it.

Don't think I ignore advice here, that's the whole damn reason I write this down, to get some feedback. But to implement it and make it my own, that takes a while. I definitely keep your comments in the back of my head.

 

[todays_news]

No I dont think you should avoid compliments, however you shouldn't be doing it in terms of how good looking she is (twice) because its not a good thing. If she's beautiful, she'll know it because working in a bar she'll get loads of guys saying it either through words or the way they look at her. You need to demonstrate that you are above her charms, and get her to chase you.

If she's buying you drinks or giving them for free, it still applies. To be honest, if it was me I wouldn't of complimented her on them, I would have accused her of trying to get me drunk so she can take advantage of me.

 

[snowdog]

Just called the number. It's fake. Sigh.

 

[Die Hard]

Just called the number. It's fake. Sigh.

Don't let it get to ya!

Your goal was to have fun! So if you enjoyed approaching her and those 30 minutes of conversation with her, there's nothing to sigh about .

 

[snowdog]

A little announcement: I'm taking a little hiatus from this forum.


Let me explain why.

I joined this forum with a purpose: to get better with girls. I wrote everything down here that I went through starting at April 2007. That's almost three and a half years now.

The ones who have been reading from the start would tell that I have become a completely different person over those last three and a half years. A difference like black and white. No comparison, total identity change.

I found out that my problems didn't lie on the girl front alone. They were way, way, WAY deeper. I found this out on new years eve 2007. I still can remember writing this post on the 2nd page of this thread, with bloodshot eyes, a thundering headache, the feeling my organs were rotting away and the everlasting taste of blood and vomit in my mouth that I had for several days and just wouldn't go away.

01-04-2008, 04:00 AM

On new year's eve, i got sinfully drunk. I got into a fight, vomited all over the place.... and after that I felt like **** for 3 days. Couldn't eat or drink anything. Now almost half a week later, i start to feel relatively normal again. I decided to stop drinking for at least a month. Lets see how this affects me in general.

Sure, that sh*t is funny now I read it, but In retrospect, I literally nearly drank myself into a coma that night. I drove into parked cars on my way home and fell off my bicycle a dozen times. I got home with with my face covered in blood and vomit and bruises all over. I pissed myself and vomited in my sleep that night. Happy new year. Rock bottom, man.

It took that much to make me figure out that I had a lot of sh*t to deal with myself.


I started getting my life back from that point on and wrote everything down in the process. I greatly appreciate all the feedback I have gotten over the years (yea, it's been years now).

Today, I feel like a million bucks. I don't live life anymore like I'm watching a movie. I feel good about myself and I have natural confidence. I never thought I could ever turn out so good. The progress I made the last three years have been mostly focused on other things who were more important than girls. Like being happy with myself and not being full of fear, loathing and confusion all the time. And I am. Happy. I finally managed to figure it out after 23 years.

And yea, no much stories on girls yet. Oh well, I really don't care anymore about that. I constantly feel that I'm drawn more and more towards girls and that I slowly start to figure them out better. I draw this conclusion from the fact that every time I meet a new girl, they respond more and more positive and nice to me. It's becoming a natural trait and going out and meeting girls starts to feel like fun instead of scary, awkward and unnatural.


So why am I leaving the community for a while, especially since it looks like the tables are finally turning, you might ask?


Well, I will be honest. This whole pickup thing has become an obsession and that's never good. Nor does it yield success. I realize now that I pretty much ruined my own summer vacation because of it. I kept saying "I don't give a **** about the outcome" etc. Well, that's true on the short term (I really don't care much about getting rejected at all anymore), but it wasn't on the long term. As stupid as it may sound, it came to a point where I didn't want to disappoint my readers. I'm talking about all you guys who've been reading this and been so cool with advice and positivity and sh*t. I just wanted to write down a good report with success for a change. I mean, I wrote down all the bad sh*t as well and you guys were kind enough to read it and comment on that, right? Again, this all might sound strange to some of you, but this has been the one place for more than three years where I always could write down what was on my mind.


So yea. I got my life pretty much in order now, I'm doing great in college, which is something I never even could had dreamed of when I started this thread and I'm feeling good all round. I'm gradually drawn more and more towards girls and they are starting to like me more and more as well. It is starting to feel like a natural process for the first time and I have this feeling that it'll all be alright with the ladies eventually, for the first time as well. Right now as I'm writing this on this night on 13 September 2010.

I just think it'll be a healthy move for me to get outta here for a while. It's just not a good thing that I have 982 posts and actually care a little about my rep on here right now. I don't mean this in a negative way. This thread and the guys who I've talked with here have been a big part of my whole process. This was something I could hang on to and it has been important to me.



Don't worry, I won't be gone forever and when something great happens, I'll post it in here for sure even if it happens tomorrow. I owe you guys that much. I love you guys (you know who you are) and I wish I could buy you all a beer and drink it together like a bunch of good buddies.


Like Arnie once said: I'll be back.


Yea.



34,234

 

[snowdog]

I told you guys a week ago I won't be back unless I have good news. Well, I have. I think I'm gonna do it this way: I'm not gonna read anything on this forum anymore and just reply to this thread as sorta a blog.

Last Saturday a good friend of mine celebrated his birthday and we all went out. At one point in a bar I made out with this 27 year old hottie. I saw what I wanted and I went for it. Boom. It was almost easy. There was nothing forced about it, nothing. I just went out that night to have a good time. Chasing after girls wasn't even on my mind, but whaddya know. Outcome independency is awesome. There was some hot tongue action going on.


I just want to write down how I feel. As I still am kinda a computer nerd, let me explain it this way.

Snowdog version history
Version 1.0 of me was at the start of this thread (and before that). I was bitter, depressed, self-loathing, sh*tty and exhibited massive self-destructive behavior. I drank my ass off and got high out of my skull to just be distant from myself and my life. I was living out of sync, literally. It was like I was watching a movie of myself living my life. Like there was a lag in it. Totally out of the moment.

Version 1.1 of me was at the start of 2008, when I almost drank myself into a coma to realize that I needed to find some help. This was like a huge update that had to be downloaded with a 56k dial-up modem. It really sucked.

Version 2.0 was around a year ago when I left my past behind and accepted it. Getting there took me around two years. This sh*t was really hard for me. I wrecked a car in a pretty serious crash (no injuries though) because I was far away with my thoughts. I f*cked up some other stupid sh*t because I was just completely out of my head, dealing with things. I also realize now that I also drank too many times for the wrong reasons. But it wasn't with the same vengeance and hatred behind it as before. More like, to make the process a little more gentle. I guess in the end, it did for me (I'm not promoting alcohol abuse here, mind you).

Version 2.0 has been pretty damn solid. Compare it to Windows Vista. It had a rough start and was difficult to live with in the beginning. And even though you were frustrated with it a lot of times, you just can't deny that it ended up as solid as a rock as it evolved and that it would never crash on you unless it's your own fault. Stable and good, but still a little bit too slow and some features you'd wish you had.

Now, I'm running the beta version of Snowdog 3.0 now. My own personal Windows 7. Even though my own version is not finished yet, the basics are all there. Most of the time it runs really smooth and it's really cool. Great new features and handy things in it that make life more fun and easy. Sometimes it's still a little unstable and sometimes it just crashes. But hey, it's not done yet. That doesn't matter, because I know it'll only get better from now on. Every day I get a tiny little update. Last Saturday, I got a big one.



F*ck yea.



34,440

 

[Tesl]

So what happened with her after making out? You at least tried to take her home or made plans to see her again right?

 

[oneandonly1]

man there is some depressing **** on this thread...

look man word of advice to always keep in mind: when you start a convo it should b some made up ****...it has to sound natural...

instead of saying what you said about the glasses I would have started with:

"u like the glasses ?" making a stupid face with them on....she would have said yes or no i would have asked her opinion on it and went from there...u tripping