"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
My self-improvement program
- Thread starter snowdog
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You've got to fclose man.
So many girls chatted up and you've invested so much time/energy into yourself that you deserve it.
Watch videos or read books on making the close. Its getting frustrating reading your posts and not having you go home with a girl!
Start using the techniques/patterns if nothing else and see if your luck changes.
So many girls chatted up and you've invested so much time/energy into yourself that you deserve it.
Watch videos or read books on making the close. Its getting frustrating reading your posts and not having you go home with a girl!
Start using the techniques/patterns if nothing else and see if your luck changes.
As you read the last few posts, I kinda hit a low point, which hadn't happened since a long time ago. Peaks and valleys. I got the spirit again and I'm going into the field more agressively from now on. I'm going out alone soon, lets see what happens then. Also more daytime approaches.
Also, to everyone who's asking why this is taking so long, there are good reasons for that. I have a lot of other things to deal with besides the girl problems, and I hadn't been able to really mentally focus on that part of my life. It'll all come together, and I'm sure it won't take too long anymore.
To illustrate this: a little more than a year I was mentally a wreck. I finally feel good about myself and about my life for the first time since as long as I can remember. I was f*cking depressed and deep down pretty much hated everything and everyone, and myself in particular. I just didn't had the time and headspace to think about this girl stuff.
And now, I finally have. I'm actively working on it now, and the time of change is coming. I just feel it, and I believe it. I already came a long, long way. People around me tell me that I'm a different person from two years ago. Not a little, but like two completely different people.
Also, to everyone who's asking why this is taking so long, there are good reasons for that. I have a lot of other things to deal with besides the girl problems, and I hadn't been able to really mentally focus on that part of my life. It'll all come together, and I'm sure it won't take too long anymore.
To illustrate this: a little more than a year I was mentally a wreck. I finally feel good about myself and about my life for the first time since as long as I can remember. I was f*cking depressed and deep down pretty much hated everything and everyone, and myself in particular. I just didn't had the time and headspace to think about this girl stuff.
And now, I finally have. I'm actively working on it now, and the time of change is coming. I just feel it, and I believe it. I already came a long, long way. People around me tell me that I'm a different person from two years ago. Not a little, but like two completely different people.
whats up dude.I looked over your posts a lil bit.I like them! It seems you are very committed to reaching the certain point in your skill where you are satisfied,but when is that and what is that? I know how you feel about depression bro.I just posted up 2 posts from another site about me,and how bad I was.It was a lil shocking to read that I was only like that a year ago.
I feel I have not made as much progress as I want but,I am going to have to come to terms with that and work harder.
If you want to read them just go on the last page of my fr.
You will get better,but I'm sure you know that!
I feel I have not made as much progress as I want but,I am going to have to come to terms with that and work harder.
If you want to read them just go on the last page of my fr.
You will get better,but I'm sure you know that!
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Pff, the gods of pickup must hate me. I was sitting in a bar, drinking a beer. The night started out great. I opened two sets on the trip to the city, one in the bus and one in the subway. I was in the good mood. Suddenly I feel like sh*t, like I completely crash and get really sick. I get dizzy, nautious and I felt like I couldn't hold my sh*t anymore. I ran to the toilet and painted it with explosive diarrhea. I was just miserable, man. I got on the subway and started to feel even sh*ttier. Then, waiting for the bus, I puked my guts out. I got home, and went to the bathroom at least seven times at night, and hardly slept. I have over 40 degrees fever right now and shivering and ****. It looks like I got the flu.
So sorry guys, no awesome update today.
So sorry guys, no awesome update today.
no man you should have plowed on despite the minor physical set backs...
totally kidding it sounds like you got food poisoning though. a flu wouldnt hit that quick. im not really sure how to treat it but im sure you can find some stuff online. make sure you take treating it seriously though!! i have heard horror stories about guys being bed ridden for 2 weeks from really bad food poisoning.
anyways i have been reading your journal from start to finish for a LONG time now. and while there is a lot of stuff id love to comment on, there is one thing that i noticed in particular...
it seems like you are the type of person who is very goal driven; i see you are constantly mentioning that you are almost to the 'next level' in your game, and once you get there you think you will have your success. id be willing to bet that you took your 'treatment' dealing with your past in steps and a lot of other things in your life with almost a b/c mindset.
i used to be the same way in a lot of things, and it almost always helped me to have a step by step to goal mindset. but for whatever reason when it came to DJing and things like that, i had to really forget about all of that stuff and just let it come to me. in the past with women, i used to ALWAYS go to my goals (ie, i would say to myself "ok i HAVE to learn how to kiss close, then ...., then ... and on and on). but now i just say fvck it, and the only thing i do is push myself to go out and associate with women, and i let the rest just come to me. funny thing is i actually do end up accomplishing the goals that i had been constantly making before (and i did it in a tenth of the time)
you wouldnt think it would work but to be honest there is a lot to say about the pook quote "the one who cares most will lose most" (i know thats not exactly how it goes, im paraphrasing for what works for me)
just some food for thought i guess... everyone is different and that is just what worked for me. i think that you and i have some similarities so i thought i would share
totally kidding it sounds like you got food poisoning though. a flu wouldnt hit that quick. im not really sure how to treat it but im sure you can find some stuff online. make sure you take treating it seriously though!! i have heard horror stories about guys being bed ridden for 2 weeks from really bad food poisoning.
anyways i have been reading your journal from start to finish for a LONG time now. and while there is a lot of stuff id love to comment on, there is one thing that i noticed in particular...
it seems like you are the type of person who is very goal driven; i see you are constantly mentioning that you are almost to the 'next level' in your game, and once you get there you think you will have your success. id be willing to bet that you took your 'treatment' dealing with your past in steps and a lot of other things in your life with almost a b/c mindset.
i used to be the same way in a lot of things, and it almost always helped me to have a step by step to goal mindset. but for whatever reason when it came to DJing and things like that, i had to really forget about all of that stuff and just let it come to me. in the past with women, i used to ALWAYS go to my goals (ie, i would say to myself "ok i HAVE to learn how to kiss close, then ...., then ... and on and on). but now i just say fvck it, and the only thing i do is push myself to go out and associate with women, and i let the rest just come to me. funny thing is i actually do end up accomplishing the goals that i had been constantly making before (and i did it in a tenth of the time)
you wouldnt think it would work but to be honest there is a lot to say about the pook quote "the one who cares most will lose most" (i know thats not exactly how it goes, im paraphrasing for what works for me)
just some food for thought i guess... everyone is different and that is just what worked for me. i think that you and i have some similarities so i thought i would share
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I find the fact that you said you want "this sh*t handled" and then procededsnowdog said:Going out alone tonight. I want to get this sh*t handled. I'm tired of f*cking around. I'm going to approach approach approach, I don't give a sh*t what's going to happen.
to have an inability to control your bowels too good of an opportunity to pass up on, lol.
It happens man, there's always a tommorow
Don't worry, I'm not dead. Lots of things I experienced lately I could had written down. I didn't, because they are not that big of a deal to me anymore. Lots of really good conversations and a couple of number closes.
My internal game is almost fixed by now, I can just feel it. The strange thing is that it doesn't really take that much effort anymore to just walk up to random girls and start a conversation that lasts and is positive.
I'm a completely different person then I was a month ago. And the month before that I was different too. I have changed tremendously. It takes a lot of energy and thinking. Lately I've been drinking a lot but it's all good. I see it as a part of the process. It helps me zone out a little and focus on the things that I'm working on. See it as oil for the engine.
Really guys, it's awesome. I'm finally able to let go of social constraints. I've almost let go of my own constraints. I don't give a sh*t anymore what people think around me. I'm comfortable in my own skin in any environment. It's not really confidence that I feel, it's more like indifference. I just don't care, and it's all good. I'm starting to feel more naturally drawn towards girls. Like I can't help myself for going after them. So much has changed inside me.
Funny example. I was sitting in the subway today. Some guy with his girlfriend were sitting across me. I was just chilling, and the girlfriend caught my eye. We had eye contact for a while and I smiled and she smiled. The sexyness was in there from both directions. The guy saw it and he made eye contact with me. I returned it with a nice smile.
Guy: "Funny huh? [kinda agressive]
Me: "What's funny?" [neutral, unreactive]
Guy: "You're smiling [still agressive]
Me: "What's wrong with that?" [neutral, but with a friendly smile]
The guy didn't knew what to do after that. He didn't got more pissed, he just backed off and it kinda put him off balance. The best part was, that his girlfriend got pissed at him. She said "don't be a d1ck" or something. As they stood up to get off the train, me and the girl made eye contact again and she gave me this sexy smile again. We had a short little moment there the two of us shared. I couldn't believe that this actually happened without me saying anything. The girl seemed interested, and I guess the guy saw me as a threat because he became hostile to me. I know I'm overanalyzing here, but yea, I think that this is probably right.
Another one. I made a chat with a girl on the bus just ten minutes ago too. I wasn't really interested in her, but I did it anyway. We talked a bit and she told me she was moving next week to another city. She had to get off before I did, and she said: "So, I guess we won't be seeing each other anymore. That's a real shame". She kinda waited for me to ask her number, but I just responded with: "Yea... I guess so". There was very clear attraction throughout the entire interaction. It seems I have finally found the right way. And the crazy thing is, that I have had it always with me. I'm just being myself, I act through my own intentions, and I don't give a f*ck.
Expect glory soon.
23,497
My internal game is almost fixed by now, I can just feel it. The strange thing is that it doesn't really take that much effort anymore to just walk up to random girls and start a conversation that lasts and is positive.
I'm a completely different person then I was a month ago. And the month before that I was different too. I have changed tremendously. It takes a lot of energy and thinking. Lately I've been drinking a lot but it's all good. I see it as a part of the process. It helps me zone out a little and focus on the things that I'm working on. See it as oil for the engine.
Really guys, it's awesome. I'm finally able to let go of social constraints. I've almost let go of my own constraints. I don't give a sh*t anymore what people think around me. I'm comfortable in my own skin in any environment. It's not really confidence that I feel, it's more like indifference. I just don't care, and it's all good. I'm starting to feel more naturally drawn towards girls. Like I can't help myself for going after them. So much has changed inside me.
Funny example. I was sitting in the subway today. Some guy with his girlfriend were sitting across me. I was just chilling, and the girlfriend caught my eye. We had eye contact for a while and I smiled and she smiled. The sexyness was in there from both directions. The guy saw it and he made eye contact with me. I returned it with a nice smile.
Guy: "Funny huh? [kinda agressive]
Me: "What's funny?" [neutral, unreactive]
Guy: "You're smiling [still agressive]
Me: "What's wrong with that?" [neutral, but with a friendly smile]
The guy didn't knew what to do after that. He didn't got more pissed, he just backed off and it kinda put him off balance. The best part was, that his girlfriend got pissed at him. She said "don't be a d1ck" or something. As they stood up to get off the train, me and the girl made eye contact again and she gave me this sexy smile again. We had a short little moment there the two of us shared. I couldn't believe that this actually happened without me saying anything. The girl seemed interested, and I guess the guy saw me as a threat because he became hostile to me. I know I'm overanalyzing here, but yea, I think that this is probably right.
Another one. I made a chat with a girl on the bus just ten minutes ago too. I wasn't really interested in her, but I did it anyway. We talked a bit and she told me she was moving next week to another city. She had to get off before I did, and she said: "So, I guess we won't be seeing each other anymore. That's a real shame". She kinda waited for me to ask her number, but I just responded with: "Yea... I guess so". There was very clear attraction throughout the entire interaction. It seems I have finally found the right way. And the crazy thing is, that I have had it always with me. I'm just being myself, I act through my own intentions, and I don't give a f*ck.
Expect glory soon.
23,497
I just got home from going out. I went to this school party in this enormous club. It was the first time I was in that place. It's huge, really huge. Three different halls, with lasers and ****...It was definitely the most impressive club I've ever visited.
It was the first time I was actually feeling comfortable in a club like that. Usually I feel out of place and awkward. I saw the guys standing to the walls with their arms crossed. I don't belong to that group anymore. I can walk around comfortably and actually feel pretty confident. People get out of my way, girls smile friendly when I carefully push myself past them as I'm moving around. The confidence and attitude is definitely there, but that's always the case now; which is awesome. I was walking around there with a cheap-ass white "I love NY" shirt and I walked with more confidence then the guys with the expensive designer clothes there. I just couldn't help but noticing it.
he next step is the approaching. I still find this really hard because the best part of my game is the way I can chat up chicks. I can talk all sorts of bull**** and they seem to like it.
The music was insanely loud in there (It actually hurt my ears) and it simply wasn't possible to have a conversation. I know it's all about kino in the club and ****, but I'm not there yet. But, the first step is taken.
Keep in mind that the club for me, is deep behind enemy lines. I loathe the music, I hate the whole showing-off thing that's a part of the scene and I hate the fact that one can't have a normal conversation.
Still, it was another learning experience. Will I ever be successful in there? I don't know. Maybe. But I don't see it as a goal. Because I don't even like those places in the first place. Every time I'll go in there, I'll make the best of it and try to improve as much as possible, but I'm not going to force myself into places I hate. I don't hate it because of approach anxiety or something (I'm pretty much over that by now, by the way), I hate it for many different and valid reasons.
23,629
It was the first time I was actually feeling comfortable in a club like that. Usually I feel out of place and awkward. I saw the guys standing to the walls with their arms crossed. I don't belong to that group anymore. I can walk around comfortably and actually feel pretty confident. People get out of my way, girls smile friendly when I carefully push myself past them as I'm moving around. The confidence and attitude is definitely there, but that's always the case now; which is awesome. I was walking around there with a cheap-ass white "I love NY" shirt and I walked with more confidence then the guys with the expensive designer clothes there. I just couldn't help but noticing it.
he next step is the approaching. I still find this really hard because the best part of my game is the way I can chat up chicks. I can talk all sorts of bull**** and they seem to like it.
The music was insanely loud in there (It actually hurt my ears) and it simply wasn't possible to have a conversation. I know it's all about kino in the club and ****, but I'm not there yet. But, the first step is taken.
Keep in mind that the club for me, is deep behind enemy lines. I loathe the music, I hate the whole showing-off thing that's a part of the scene and I hate the fact that one can't have a normal conversation.
Still, it was another learning experience. Will I ever be successful in there? I don't know. Maybe. But I don't see it as a goal. Because I don't even like those places in the first place. Every time I'll go in there, I'll make the best of it and try to improve as much as possible, but I'm not going to force myself into places I hate. I don't hate it because of approach anxiety or something (I'm pretty much over that by now, by the way), I hate it for many different and valid reasons.
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"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
black-n-white911
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 14, 2009
- Messages
- 14
- Reaction score
- 0
ur first **** prolly aint gonna be a one night stand bro it kinda takes experience and tight game to have a girl to that with you,
Yea, I see that now.
Anyway, long time no update! Where do I start? Well, I'll start by saying that it's really true, the better you get at this stuff, the less you'll be visiting this site.
I'm slowly evolving into this natural guy. What does this mean? It means that every smart/witty line or thing I say comes from me. I don't make up lines anymore. I don't get nervous anymore when I call a girl, it's really something new to me. I don't think ahead. I'll repeat it because it's really probably the most important thing in being smooth with girls: I don't think ahead.
When I'm talking with a girl, I'm almost always in the moment and shutting off the things my brain tries to tell me. I just let it flow. It's been a few months since I've been able to do this and I keep getting better at it. And man, it's really like MAGIC. F*CKING MAGIC, MAN!
The way girls are around me is so incredibly different than how it used to be. When I approach, they almost never are cold or b*tchy with me from the get-go. Girls are heavily using kino on me, like embracing me on the first meet, stuff like that. I really use kino a lot too, but I don't think about it, I just do it because it's a part of me now.
And another big one. A HUGE one: Eye contact. I used to hold eye contact, but it was always sort of creepy if I did it long. Now it's all good. After a while I just notice it. They pupils of the girl start to dilate and they are much more drawn to me. It's because there is rest and confidence in my eyes, instead of fear and chaos.
In conversations, I'm challenging, sometimes ****y, most of the times funny and every now and then directly sexual. I can talk on and on about nothing, and it's actually easy because it's all coming from me. I just let it flow. I don't think. It goes auto pilot. Like shifting gears in a manual car, you just do it without thinking.
One girl just today, I really created attraction, it was written all over her. I had met her a couple of times and we hung out at this party. I kino'ed her all the time, but she seemed a little reluctant every time I got too close. I already had her number and I called her. It was really funny actually. On the phone she was all giggly and sh*t. I was just totally cool, no nervousness or uneasiness at all. AL ALL. NOTHING.
My favorite part of the conversation was when I told we should go grab a drink, she asked every time if it was a date or not. I kept telling some bullsh*t story about how I wanted to talk to her about CD's... again, pure bullsh*t. After a long time, she sorta finally seemed to buy it. Then this part came, my favorite part:
Her: Oh, so it's just CD's huh? Like not a date?
Me: No, I just want to chat about that CD you were talking about.
Her: Well, ok then, that's cool I guess.
Me: Of course I'm asking you on a date. Why the f*ck would you think that I care about some stupid CD's?
She became all giggly and sh*t. It was beautiful.
Her: Well, I sorta have a boyfriend
Me: Ah sorta?
Her: Hihihi no it's really searious actually, 5 years now
Me: Well I don't care. I have a goldfish, how about that?
More giggling (I actually heard a male voice in the background every now and then). She was all shy and stuff, and I couldn't believe how totally cool I was all the time. Eventually she told me she really couldn't and that she was in a serious relationship. The cool thing was, that this didn't affect me at all. Not. At. All. She was cute, she was hot, we really had fun, and I didn't care about the outcome. Nothing was weird at the end of the conversation either. That's the first time ever I think, that there was no weirdness after a girl said no to me.
This thing she said let me know that I'm definitely on to something here:
Her: I think you're a really cool guy, and I totally, totally would had dated you if I wasn't in a serious relationship
Made my day.
I'm having a date in 3 days with a hot girl by the way. And I have two other girls I'm heavily flirting with. Definitely potential prospects. The first one is little brunette. She's just fireworks, high energy. Super sexy. The other one is a blonde, a little shorter than me, amazing figure. I met her at kickboxing, a sport I started doing a month ago or so.
Yea guys. F*ck yea! This is the sh*t! Truly the last step to the finish line. I'm finally seeing the light. I'm finally.... finally understanding the core essence of it all. I know I'll get really good at this, there really is no other way from what I can tell. I pretty much turn on any girl I talk with, just by being myself. I don't like paying attention to signals, but they are all there. That gaze, the body language, playing with their hair, laughing at jokes that are totally not funny... yea. YEA!!!
Once I'm through my exams week, I'll start to work on my book again. Lots of revelations and discoveries that need to be written down.
24,236
Anyway, long time no update! Where do I start? Well, I'll start by saying that it's really true, the better you get at this stuff, the less you'll be visiting this site.
I'm slowly evolving into this natural guy. What does this mean? It means that every smart/witty line or thing I say comes from me. I don't make up lines anymore. I don't get nervous anymore when I call a girl, it's really something new to me. I don't think ahead. I'll repeat it because it's really probably the most important thing in being smooth with girls: I don't think ahead.
When I'm talking with a girl, I'm almost always in the moment and shutting off the things my brain tries to tell me. I just let it flow. It's been a few months since I've been able to do this and I keep getting better at it. And man, it's really like MAGIC. F*CKING MAGIC, MAN!
The way girls are around me is so incredibly different than how it used to be. When I approach, they almost never are cold or b*tchy with me from the get-go. Girls are heavily using kino on me, like embracing me on the first meet, stuff like that. I really use kino a lot too, but I don't think about it, I just do it because it's a part of me now.
And another big one. A HUGE one: Eye contact. I used to hold eye contact, but it was always sort of creepy if I did it long. Now it's all good. After a while I just notice it. They pupils of the girl start to dilate and they are much more drawn to me. It's because there is rest and confidence in my eyes, instead of fear and chaos.
In conversations, I'm challenging, sometimes ****y, most of the times funny and every now and then directly sexual. I can talk on and on about nothing, and it's actually easy because it's all coming from me. I just let it flow. I don't think. It goes auto pilot. Like shifting gears in a manual car, you just do it without thinking.
One girl just today, I really created attraction, it was written all over her. I had met her a couple of times and we hung out at this party. I kino'ed her all the time, but she seemed a little reluctant every time I got too close. I already had her number and I called her. It was really funny actually. On the phone she was all giggly and sh*t. I was just totally cool, no nervousness or uneasiness at all. AL ALL. NOTHING.
My favorite part of the conversation was when I told we should go grab a drink, she asked every time if it was a date or not. I kept telling some bullsh*t story about how I wanted to talk to her about CD's... again, pure bullsh*t. After a long time, she sorta finally seemed to buy it. Then this part came, my favorite part:
Her: Oh, so it's just CD's huh? Like not a date?
Me: No, I just want to chat about that CD you were talking about.
Her: Well, ok then, that's cool I guess.
Me: Of course I'm asking you on a date. Why the f*ck would you think that I care about some stupid CD's?
She became all giggly and sh*t. It was beautiful.
Her: Well, I sorta have a boyfriend
Me: Ah sorta?
Her: Hihihi no it's really searious actually, 5 years now
Me: Well I don't care. I have a goldfish, how about that?
More giggling (I actually heard a male voice in the background every now and then). She was all shy and stuff, and I couldn't believe how totally cool I was all the time. Eventually she told me she really couldn't and that she was in a serious relationship. The cool thing was, that this didn't affect me at all. Not. At. All. She was cute, she was hot, we really had fun, and I didn't care about the outcome. Nothing was weird at the end of the conversation either. That's the first time ever I think, that there was no weirdness after a girl said no to me.
This thing she said let me know that I'm definitely on to something here:
Her: I think you're a really cool guy, and I totally, totally would had dated you if I wasn't in a serious relationship
Made my day.
I'm having a date in 3 days with a hot girl by the way. And I have two other girls I'm heavily flirting with. Definitely potential prospects. The first one is little brunette. She's just fireworks, high energy. Super sexy. The other one is a blonde, a little shorter than me, amazing figure. I met her at kickboxing, a sport I started doing a month ago or so.
Yea guys. F*ck yea! This is the sh*t! Truly the last step to the finish line. I'm finally seeing the light. I'm finally.... finally understanding the core essence of it all. I know I'll get really good at this, there really is no other way from what I can tell. I pretty much turn on any girl I talk with, just by being myself. I don't like paying attention to signals, but they are all there. That gaze, the body language, playing with their hair, laughing at jokes that are totally not funny... yea. YEA!!!
Once I'm through my exams week, I'll start to work on my book again. Lots of revelations and discoveries that need to be written down.
24,236
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By the way, here a seperate insight on kickboxing and other martial arts.
I always wanted to do it, but I never did because I was scared to get my ass kicked by aggressive idiots.
Well let me tell you. I have never been in a sport with other people where the general vibe is so friendly and relaxed. Everyone is looking out for each other. When I'm up against a good guy, he makes sure he doesn't totally kick my ass. When I'm up against someone who's less good then me, I hold back also. It's like this unwritten rule that you just don't hurt each other. It's training, and it really is a hell lot of fun.
This will make you tough, really tough. Warming up is 45 minutes of jump-rope, push-ups and sit-ups. After that, you practice different combo's on each other and after that you go sparring. You have these gloves on that are 14 oz, and there really isn't a sport that's more fatiguing than this, really.
More importantly, it is also a huge confidence booster. Why?
It's not because you'll be able to kick most people's asses with the stuff you learn. Well, a little maybe, but that's just a little extra. No. During sparring, you have to be in the moment, all the time. ALL THE TIME. If your mind wanders off for just half a second, you'll get a punch in the face. You'll be forcing yourself to focus on the moment really hard.
Being in the moment is according to me (and probably many others) the most important factor of confidence. Now I think more of it, it is the only factor in confidence. Because when you're truly in the moment, you won't be able to allow negative thoughts in your head, because all that your mind focuses on is now.
So, starting martial arts training will be a good idea for all the afc's here. Aside from getting ripped within no-time (I already really notice it after a month), it will bring you calmness, control and lots of confidence. And you'll make new friends. Because most of the time, the people who are committed enough to do it, are cool people (don't be mistaken, this training is some hard-core sh*t. You'll get destroyed every week). Plus, some the chicks you'll meet are hard-bodied sex bombs. Some of these girls have an ass and figure that I've only seen in magazines before.
Call me weird, but I think a chick that knows how to kick some ass has something very sexy going for her (aside from having an amazing figure).
I always wanted to do it, but I never did because I was scared to get my ass kicked by aggressive idiots.
Well let me tell you. I have never been in a sport with other people where the general vibe is so friendly and relaxed. Everyone is looking out for each other. When I'm up against a good guy, he makes sure he doesn't totally kick my ass. When I'm up against someone who's less good then me, I hold back also. It's like this unwritten rule that you just don't hurt each other. It's training, and it really is a hell lot of fun.
This will make you tough, really tough. Warming up is 45 minutes of jump-rope, push-ups and sit-ups. After that, you practice different combo's on each other and after that you go sparring. You have these gloves on that are 14 oz, and there really isn't a sport that's more fatiguing than this, really.
More importantly, it is also a huge confidence booster. Why?
It's not because you'll be able to kick most people's asses with the stuff you learn. Well, a little maybe, but that's just a little extra. No. During sparring, you have to be in the moment, all the time. ALL THE TIME. If your mind wanders off for just half a second, you'll get a punch in the face. You'll be forcing yourself to focus on the moment really hard.
Being in the moment is according to me (and probably many others) the most important factor of confidence. Now I think more of it, it is the only factor in confidence. Because when you're truly in the moment, you won't be able to allow negative thoughts in your head, because all that your mind focuses on is now.
So, starting martial arts training will be a good idea for all the afc's here. Aside from getting ripped within no-time (I already really notice it after a month), it will bring you calmness, control and lots of confidence. And you'll make new friends. Because most of the time, the people who are committed enough to do it, are cool people (don't be mistaken, this training is some hard-core sh*t. You'll get destroyed every week). Plus, some the chicks you'll meet are hard-bodied sex bombs. Some of these girls have an ass and figure that I've only seen in magazines before.
Call me weird, but I think a chick that knows how to kick some ass has something very sexy going for her (aside from having an amazing figure).
I went out alone yesterday. For the first time! It was weird at the beginning, but I have learned a lot from it.
I went to this bar, ordered a beer and just sat there for a while. I started talking to some middle aged woman sitting to the left of me, I thought she was sexy. We talked a bit, it went pretty good.
I opened two girls a little later and told them I had a date that wasn't showing up. First time I actually told a BS story, always wanted to try that sh*t. They really felt sorry for me and told me a thousand times not to call her again. We talked some more. One of them was pretty hot but also a little arrogant.
Later some guy around forty sat next to me and he had a tripod with him. He also wore this old-skool photographer hat. I'm a big photography hobbyist so this was the basis of a good conversation. He was cool and bought me a few beers and I did the same. It was cool, we hung out as friends even though I has just met the guy. At some point the girls came back and the hot one told me she like 'my friend'. It was funny, the girl was in her early twenties. The guy was married and a lot older, but still she found him hot.
As they were talking now, I looked around. I spotted a set. I had to take a leak so I walked past them to the bathroom so I could approach them on the way back. As I entered the bathroom there was a girl that was sort of lost, and I pointed her to the ladies room. She laughed because it was right next to her. When I had done my deed I waited outside, pretending to just collect money from the ATM that was there and I opened her. We talked a bit, until this huge, chubby, loud and drunk guy stumbled out of the bathroom. He was being funny with me and trying to make a fool out of me by yelling all sorts of silly stuff. I outwitted him and made fun of HIM. I even called the guy a motherf***er right to his face, but I had this vibe that I believed everyone was my friend. He didn't really knew what to do, on the one side I saw that he was a little pissed, but he couldn't mix it with my vibe, and It was all good. The girl was a part of his friends group, and he took her with him. Doesn't matter, I have two other girls I can approach.
On the way out, I walked into some other girls and started a conversation. I was a little too drunk by now, it didn't do me any good. At one point I misinterpreted something that was said and horribly offended the entire group. Now I think back of it, I think it was f*cking hilarious. I don't exactly remember what I said, but it ended with me talking about ass-licking.
I approached the group I saw earlier. One of them a real cutie, the other one not so much. We hung out for half an hour or so, it was great. My drunkenness made me a little insecure and self-conscious, because I heard myself slurring a bit. At one point one girl asked me if I was drunk. I told her yes, but for a good reason. I had my final exams today, so I was getting drunk. It sucked that I was really, because it went relatively well. I ended up with an e-mail close, because I was too much of a wussy by then to go for the number close or a kiss.
Things I've learned:
This definitely won't be the last time I'll go out alone. I have never been so focused on approaching. I just kept on doing it time after time, it was great. The girls I approached were all pretty damn hot. Their appearance didn't had any influence on my confidence in the approach. It was a very valuable night. I'm slowly getting smooth at this stuff too. Lots of touching from the get go, it really makes the difference.
24,458
I went to this bar, ordered a beer and just sat there for a while. I started talking to some middle aged woman sitting to the left of me, I thought she was sexy. We talked a bit, it went pretty good.
I opened two girls a little later and told them I had a date that wasn't showing up. First time I actually told a BS story, always wanted to try that sh*t. They really felt sorry for me and told me a thousand times not to call her again. We talked some more. One of them was pretty hot but also a little arrogant.
Later some guy around forty sat next to me and he had a tripod with him. He also wore this old-skool photographer hat. I'm a big photography hobbyist so this was the basis of a good conversation. He was cool and bought me a few beers and I did the same. It was cool, we hung out as friends even though I has just met the guy. At some point the girls came back and the hot one told me she like 'my friend'. It was funny, the girl was in her early twenties. The guy was married and a lot older, but still she found him hot.
As they were talking now, I looked around. I spotted a set. I had to take a leak so I walked past them to the bathroom so I could approach them on the way back. As I entered the bathroom there was a girl that was sort of lost, and I pointed her to the ladies room. She laughed because it was right next to her. When I had done my deed I waited outside, pretending to just collect money from the ATM that was there and I opened her. We talked a bit, until this huge, chubby, loud and drunk guy stumbled out of the bathroom. He was being funny with me and trying to make a fool out of me by yelling all sorts of silly stuff. I outwitted him and made fun of HIM. I even called the guy a motherf***er right to his face, but I had this vibe that I believed everyone was my friend. He didn't really knew what to do, on the one side I saw that he was a little pissed, but he couldn't mix it with my vibe, and It was all good. The girl was a part of his friends group, and he took her with him. Doesn't matter, I have two other girls I can approach.
On the way out, I walked into some other girls and started a conversation. I was a little too drunk by now, it didn't do me any good. At one point I misinterpreted something that was said and horribly offended the entire group. Now I think back of it, I think it was f*cking hilarious. I don't exactly remember what I said, but it ended with me talking about ass-licking.
I approached the group I saw earlier. One of them a real cutie, the other one not so much. We hung out for half an hour or so, it was great. My drunkenness made me a little insecure and self-conscious, because I heard myself slurring a bit. At one point one girl asked me if I was drunk. I told her yes, but for a good reason. I had my final exams today, so I was getting drunk. It sucked that I was really, because it went relatively well. I ended up with an e-mail close, because I was too much of a wussy by then to go for the number close or a kiss.
Things I've learned:
- Going out alone is hard and awkward at first, but it was a VERY valuable experience for me. I have never gained so much experience in one night
- Bad idea to drink too much. When you're on your own, you don't have drunk friends to hang out with. Besides, girls don't like guys that are too drunk. I already knew this of course. I realize now that the reason I kept drinking was because I was still a little insecure about this going out alone thing
This definitely won't be the last time I'll go out alone. I have never been so focused on approaching. I just kept on doing it time after time, it was great. The girls I approached were all pretty damn hot. Their appearance didn't had any influence on my confidence in the approach. It was a very valuable night. I'm slowly getting smooth at this stuff too. Lots of touching from the get go, it really makes the difference.
24,458
Long story short, I was in this recording studio with a bunch of people. I had to record something with my guitar, session work. There was this other guy also who was recording in the studio as well. He had hired two female backing vocalists. One of them I found pretty hot. It was really really hectic, both parties only had the two studio's for two hours so there wasn't any time to relax (studio time=expensive). I didn't knew these people by the way, never seen em before. In between the recording, I had a couple of little flirty moments with the girl, and it was really good but just really short everytime. Great response from her side though. When we were all told to leave, I thought about all the times I didn't do anything and just went for it, run the train. I'll never see this chick again, who gives a ****, I'll just go for the number. I stopped her on the way out:
Me: Hey you
Her: Hi
Me: I hardly know you, but you seem like a cool person to me. I want to grab a drink with you some time.
Her: Oh? Alright, well if it's just a drink, that's ok. But I do have a boyfriend, so...
Me: Hehe, alright sure.
Her: I think it's really cool that you have the balls to ask me like that though
The guy and the other girl said the same to me. Like it was something awesome.
On the one hand I'm happy that I can just walk up and ask a girl out without fear and bull**** like that. I was just like "I'm gonna do this" without thinking anything more about it. Right action. I didn't went into my head, either. Just in the moment, went for it. On the other hand, another rejection. But I don't really care anymore. I know, isolation. But there wasn't any time really. I had to pickup my stuff and everyone was in a hurry all the time. This was really the only possible moment.
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Me: Hey you
Her: Hi
Me: I hardly know you, but you seem like a cool person to me. I want to grab a drink with you some time.
Her: Oh? Alright, well if it's just a drink, that's ok. But I do have a boyfriend, so...
Me: Hehe, alright sure.
Her: I think it's really cool that you have the balls to ask me like that though
The guy and the other girl said the same to me. Like it was something awesome.
On the one hand I'm happy that I can just walk up and ask a girl out without fear and bull**** like that. I was just like "I'm gonna do this" without thinking anything more about it. Right action. I didn't went into my head, either. Just in the moment, went for it. On the other hand, another rejection. But I don't really care anymore. I know, isolation. But there wasn't any time really. I had to pickup my stuff and everyone was in a hurry all the time. This was really the only possible moment.
24,822
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.