"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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My roommate is moving out, no!!!!

Newtguy

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Hey, will this be a good thing or a bad thing for me? I have a roommate which I am crazy about(infatuated with/ lusting over/ in love with etc...) We also work together. She is moving back home because of school, she can't afford to live with me, which I understand.

Anyway, awhile ago, we were getting close making out hugging a lot, I was thinking soon we will be boyfriend girlfriend, awesome! One night we were sleeping next to each other and ended up dry humping, lol. Her family is super religious(Mormons), so to her that might of been like 3rd base. Anyway, after that she did a 180 on me and a week later she started dating a guy(Mormon). Well, they aren't together anymore after about a month. I also found out during that time she told one of our good friends who's like a father to her, that she thinks I am too feminine and stuff and we just don't connect, but that she has a lot of respect for me. I really am not feminine(nice guy), but I get that way around girls I like. Yes, I become the nice guy.....

Ok, I realize I did all the wrong things, like being around her all the time, telling her how amazing she is and that she lightens up my world when she's around me. Always giving her massages. Doing nice things for her etc... Ugh, I am so stupid. But, when things are going so well in your head you just sometimes don't think what you're doing could be destroying things in the long run. I also noticed she never does anything for me. Never asks about my life, it's always about her life and what's happening with it. Like I am shoulder to cry on. Ok, so I am an AFC. I did all the wrong things. I have learned a lot from this website.

So, my problem is... I want her. I know I need to move on. But, I want her! lol. I still feel there is a spark that can be lit in her. When we talk she looks me in the eyes. She lets me massage her butt! we talk a lot. I am a good looking guy. I workout. I am slim though.

My question is, will her moving out be a good thing? Maybe she will miss me, or just forget about me faster. Will it help me get over her, or just feel like I have a void in me with not seeing her around anymore. Like any guy I MB, haha probably a lot. I can only get off thinking of her and no one else. I know I am too obsessive and that's not good. I guess I kinda know the answers to my questions, but it helps to have reinforcement.

Can a girl go from liking you a lot to putting you in the friend zone to liking you again... Is it possible at all??? I will say with all my ex's I acted the same way(afc), once we broke up though, I didn't take crap from them. I distanced myself from them, they all wanted me back. But, I never took them back. I am just hoping with this girl, that if she moves out, she will start missing me. I will man up and she will want me!

I guess I am just venting...how do you guys have the mentality to not get attached to girls. I can read all the link on this site, but I just don't know how to not get a attached to one girl. ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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alxrose04

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Don't beat yourself over this. This happens to everybody and I mean EVERYBODY. lol. But you already know where you went wrong. You were to available for her and moved your world for her. That's not attractive. There's nothing wrong with being a nice guy and telling her all these nice things BUT they have a time and a place. When she really impresses you with something other than her beauty or presence, compliment her on that.

Don't pick up every phone call. Take an hour or so to respond to text message. Most importantly, if you don't like something, speak up! That's a nice guy with a back bone!

I think her leaving is a good thing. It'll clear your head and give her time to miss you which doesn't seem like it happened. You know what you have to do, brother. Good lucks.
 

Newtguy

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thanks

Thanks for the reply. Yeah, it might be better if she moved out. Plus if she starts seeing another guy, it won't be good for me if she's still living here. When she was seeing that Mormon guy, we were having a lot of problems. I didn't obviously like it, and she couldn't do what she wanted knowing it bothered me. If anything maybe I will be able to move on to other girls, not having to see her all the time. I'll just see her at work.

Why can some of my friends get married so quickly, and then people like me have problems all their lives trying to just be with someone and happy... Just not fair...
 
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