Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

my rejection story

Unregistered

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 9, 2003
Messages
546
Reaction score
3
**Just for starters, I am not posting this looking for advice, encouragement, or disdain. I know how to handle rejection. I'm ok with it. I am simply posting this because I'm sure many here can relate to and probably chuckle to themselves in recognition of this classic situation.
**

I called her up to make plans for our already agreed-upon date on Friday. She didn’t answer, so I left a message. 20 minutes later she called me back.

We bull****ted for about a minute, and then I started talking about where we were going on Friday. Before I got 5 words out, she interrupted me nervously with “yeah…. that’s what I needed to talk to you about”. Right then, with those words in that strangled tone of voice, I knew it wasn’t happening. The only question was whether it wasn’t happening Friday or it wasn’t happening ever. I got my answer soon enough. A couple sentences in, the phrases “there’s this other guy”… “things happened really fast last weekend”…“kind of dating each other” …“wouldn’t be fair”… “felt so bad about having to tell you”… hit me in the gut like a left hook, setting me up for the money shot, the clincher, the uppercut knockout….

“I think you’re an awesome guy”

Ah, yes! The old cliché! “I think you’re an awesome guy!!!” It wouldn’t be a proper beating without it!

"I think you're an awesome guy!!!! Just not as awesome as the guy who has his scrotal marks permanently imprinted into your chin, right???

"I think you're an awesome guy!!!! But you'd rather give a hand-job to a leper, right?

"I think you're an awesome guy!!!! Then fellate me now, woman.

But you understand, I’m sure. An awesome guy such as yourself understands the circumstances behind this rejection, I assume? Well, yeah, actually I do, I sure do, but ****. ****! You don’t win the girl this time, Contestant #2, but here’s your great consolation prize….a meaningless, insincere compliment!!!!! I wonder what the statistics are for “awesome guys”, “really great guys” “such sweet guys” getting laid. Not too high, I’d wager. Another interesting thing, the last two times (well, actually the only two times) I’ve gotten that speech, it’s always “kind of have a boyfriend” “kind of dating”. Never an absolute. Break him in gently; don’t make him bleed just yet.

F*cking women, man. ;) Remember, there is always another guy.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

blinkwatt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2005
Messages
1,904
Reaction score
7
Age
39
Had that happen to me recently except we went out once before the dreaded ender. She mentioned something on out date of just breaking up with her bf and I paid no attention. Called her up for another date(keep in mind we made out on first date so I thought all was well) and she said "Iam back together with my boyfriend". That was followed by "I dont want to lose you,your hecka tight"(yes I know sounds stupid) and "Call me up sometime". Women,cant live with them,cant live without them.
 

WORKEROUTER

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 9, 2003
Messages
1,514
Reaction score
9
Location
WA
Don't beat yourself up over it.

Just go meet some other girls.
 

S1NN3R

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2006
Messages
680
Reaction score
13
Location
Loss Vaygus, NV
Unregistered said:
A couple sentences in, the phrases “there’s this other guy”…
Dude, she would have heard the click of my phone closing before she finished the word "guy". Right about at the "u", I think. Yup, all I would have heard is "there's this other gu.........." :D
 

john_1234

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 5, 2005
Messages
395
Reaction score
5
i don't know if sinner was being serious or not, but what do you guys think about hanging up on her like that? i'm guessing that w/ some girls, they'd actually get turned on by that while some of course would get turned off. i think i might try that if some girl pulls those lines on me
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

S1NN3R

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2006
Messages
680
Reaction score
13
Location
Loss Vaygus, NV
Hell yeah, I'm serious. Really. And I wouldn't be doing it to try to turn her on or raise her interest level either, it's just that at that point I would have heard everything I needed to hear, and anything she said after that would just sound like the adults in Peanuts cartoons. "there's this other guy and waa waaa wa wa waaaaa waaaa, wa waaa wa wa." Especially if we hadn't even had the first date yet. That's why, *click*, add to Do Not Call list.

It was nice of your girl to at least be up front about it, she could have just skipped on you. I guess she deserves some credit there, but then to cheapen it with the "awesome guy" stuff. I mean, how insufficient is that? Come on. She should have just let it go at "I'm getting serious with this other guy, I aplogize."

You seem to be handling it well though.
 

thederekeffect1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 15, 2005
Messages
515
Reaction score
7
Age
41
Location
Duluth, MN
Don't hang up on her. Especially if you're going to hang up on her before she finishes her sentence. Then you're just *****ing out from what has to be said, anyway. A simple, "alright, it's cool" will do. Then you can make up an excuse to hang up, "I'm sort of busy right now, I gotta go". Ended.
 

S1NN3R

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2006
Messages
680
Reaction score
13
Location
Loss Vaygus, NV
thederekeffect1 said:
Then you're just *****ing out from what has to be said, anyway.
In my opinion, what has to be said, has been said at that point.


thederekeffect1 said:
A simple, "alright, it's cool" will do. Then you can make up an excuse to hang up, "I'm sort of busy right now, I gotta go". Ended.
That would probably be the better method of handling it, but I'm not that patient.
 

xanderbaz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 13, 2002
Messages
759
Reaction score
0
blinkwatt said:
Had that happen to me recently except we went out once before the dreaded ender. She mentioned something on out date of just breaking up with her bf and I paid no attention. Called her up for another date(keep in mind we made out on first date so I thought all was well) and she said "Iam back together with my boyfriend". That was followed by "I dont want to lose you,your hecka tight"(yes I know sounds stupid) and "Call me up sometime". Women,cant live with them,cant live without them.
Been there, lived through it, MOVED THE **** ON!
Go out and meet other interesting women, there's plenty for all of us.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

S1NN3R

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2006
Messages
680
Reaction score
13
Location
Loss Vaygus, NV
blinkwatt said:
That was followed by "I dont want to lose you,your hecka tight"(yes I know sounds stupid) and "Call me up sometime".
Play it. Insinuate yourself into her life. Make her think of you constantly. She sounds wishy washy about her boyfriend, almost like she got back with him because it was easy or he somehow convinced her against her better judgement. Play it, you can pull it off.

Even if she just wants the attention of knowing that you like her and will pursue her, you don't have that much to lose. Keep up the rest of the game, but definitely work this one.
 

Unregistered

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 9, 2003
Messages
546
Reaction score
3
Don't hang up on her. Especially if you're going to hang up on her before she finishes her sentence. Then you're just *****ing out from what has to be said, anyway. A simple, "alright, it's cool" will do. Then you can make up an excuse to hang up, "I'm sort of busy right now, I gotta go". Ended.
That's pretty much what I did, except I didn't make an excuse to hang up, just said, "well, good luck, bye".
 

cactus3178

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 11, 2004
Messages
481
Reaction score
3
Age
48
Location
P-Town 503
Unregistered said:
F*cking women, man. ;) Remember, there is always another guy.


And there's always another girl.

Get to it.
 
Top