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My observations on guys that are successful with women

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These aren’t exclusive or mutually exclusive, but these are observations that I have gathered.

1). They never had to do any chasing/jumping through hurdles at the beginning. Yes, this would change after the girl lost interest, but the girl would just chase them from the start. If you are getting mixed signals early on then you aren’t her first choice period.

2). They have a characteristic that benefits them. This could be looks, money, status, height, etc. Dude could living in his mom’s basement and have the personality of a turtle, but he’s 6ft and looks like Jesus with a man bun or his dad is really rich.

3). They have a target market and they stick to it. I think this is the biggest reason why most men have issues with women. We want women that don’t particularly want our type. For example, your typical hot southern blonde is going to want a football qb frat bro Chad, not some engineer dude that can’t name the 3rd string WR on the Atlanta Falcons. My short friend gets laid a lot because he only goes for 5s-7s sports bro type girls that he can connect with. These guys know the type of girls that they can connect with and they stick with them. This goes for emotionally damaged women with daddy issues. These guys attract these type of women and know how to keep them interested.


4). They never give up chasing- This guy would find a girl that gives him medium interest but she clearly doesn’t see him as first choice and chase this girl until she exhausted her options and gave in. A lot of us would next the girl after the the second flake while this guy will wait and continue chasing.
 
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Between the guys in category 1 and the guy in category 4, whose slept with the most hot girls?
TBH I don’t recommend doing point 4, but this guy can nab the hottest girl. It’s at cost though, she could be a single mom by then, psycho, 50 plus partner count, and etc. point 1 can get a hot girl but that depends on if she shows interest.

when you see some guy with a girl above his league in public, it’s most likely this. He took on her skeletons and shouldered her bad decisions for her.
 

SW15

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@Jake_Gyllenhaal69 -- How do you define successful with women? On to the comments. Overall, these are solid observations.

3). They have a target market and they stick to it. I think this is the biggest reason why most men have issues with women. We want women that don’t particularly want our type. For example, your typical hot southern blonde is going to want a football qb frat bro Chad, not some engineer dude that can’t name the 3rd string WR on the Atlanta Falcons. My short friend gets laid a lot because he only goes for 5s-7s sports bro type girls that he can connect with. These guys know the type of girls that they can connect with and they stick with them. This goes for emotionally damaged women with daddy issues. These guys attract these type of women and know how to keep them interested.
I agree that this is the #1 thing and why dating has strong overlap with marketing.

The best example of poor marketing that I've observed was an overweight Indian-American engineer in his 20s hitting on yuppie 20 something white women in the bars in one of the most pretentious neighborhoods in Dallas. That's not going to lead to any success, unless said Indian-American engineer was really rich/had family money (family money was more likely given 20s age) or had impressive charisma. This Indian-American engineer had neither.

I think there are men that have problems defining their target market not because they choose the wrong market but because they as men are so generic that they have a wide target market. They have everything and nothing. Think of a man with these characteristics...

  • Average height (5'9"-5'11")
  • Not overweight but not huge muscles. Some fitness participation but would not stand out at the gym, making general floor gym pickup more challenging.
  • Bachelor's degree or higher, has a white collar job, with a salary between $75,000 - $149,999 if between ages 25-44. That salary level is devent but not enough to seduce women based with income or likely net worth alone
A guy with those features can be appealing to a lot of women but not overwhelmingly appealing to one specific type of woman. There'd be some difficulty in defining the target there. Race/ethnicity factors could be relevant. A guy with those types of features, despite being decent, would not stand out on swipe apps or swipe app arranged first dates. Cold approaching would be grueling for that guy and he may or may not have success with it. I think those average to slightly above average guys often end putting something together through social circles (if they have them) or settling for whatever mediocre woman (likely in her 30s) on a swipe app who decides to settle on him if they have weak circles.

2). They have a characteristic that benefits them. This could be looks, money, status, height, etc. Dude could living in his mom’s basement and have the personality of a turtle, but he’s 6ft and looks like Jesus with a man bun or his dad is really rich.
Yes, this makes sense. I've seen this work well for men in both shorter term and extended relationships.

6'0"+ is one that works well in the swipe app environment for shorter term sex.

Having a rich dad/rich parents will help with game. It depends upon how rich. Upper middle class won't help that much, though that can help for younger guys 18-25 mostly dealing with 18-25 year old women. Really rich sons (father is CEO of a Top 100 company or majority owner of a notable non-publicly traded company) can play that card for a long time even if they don't end up working in their father's company. The son of a professional athlete who made $50+ million in his career could work if the father didn't blow away his pro sports earnings (most pro athletes have money problems after retirement).

For some men, I've seen a strong social circle being their defining characteristic. These are often blue pill guys who end up as married men. Not the type who spends time on SoSuave or other sites like this.

@sangheilios would have a magic bullet type characteristic. He is 6'4" and has big muscles. However, he has not turned that impressive characteristic into sustainable success.

1). They never had to do any chasing/jumping through hurdles at the beginning. Yes, this would change after the girl lost interest, but the girl would just chase them from the start. If you are getting mixed signals early on then you aren’t her first choice period.
This is important. It might go along well with #3 in choosing a solid target maket that is going to be interested in you.

4). They never give up chasing- This guy would find a girl that gives him medium interest but she clearly doesn’t see him as first choice and chase this girl until she exhausted her options and gave in. A lot of us would next the girl after the the second flake while this guy will wait and continue chasing.
This can work, but guys experiencing #1 are going to be more successful. Also, a lot of relationships that form from this would tend to be more unstable than average even though we must acknowledge that almost all romantic relationships are transient. I strongly believe in the concept of a shelf life of goodness of extended romantic relationships in most cases.
 

mrskinnypantz

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Bro, I normally don't agree with most of your post, but you hit the bullseye on this one.

Good post brotha
 

Pandora

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@Jake_Gyllenhaal69 -- How do you define successful with women? On to the comments. Overall, these are solid observations.



I agree that this is the #1 thing and why dating has strong overlap with marketing.

The best example of poor marketing that I've observed was an overweight Indian-American engineer in his 20s hitting on yuppie 20 something white women in the bars in one of the most pretentious neighborhoods in Dallas. That's not going to lead to any success, unless said Indian-American engineer was really rich/had family money (family money was more likely given 20s age) or had impressive charisma. This Indian-American engineer had neither.

I think there are men that have problems defining their target market not because they choose the wrong market but because they as men are so generic that they have a wide target market. They have everything and nothing. Think of a man with these characteristics...

  • Average height (5'9"-5'11")
  • Not overweight but not huge muscles. Some fitness participation but would not stand out at the gym, making general floor gym pickup more challenging.
  • Bachelor's degree or higher, has a white collar job, with a salary between $75,000 - $149,999 if between ages 25-44. That salary level is devent but not enough to seduce women based with income or likely net worth alone
A guy with those features can be appealing to a lot of women but not overwhelmingly appealing to one specific type of woman. There'd be some difficulty in defining the target there. Race/ethnicity factors could be relevant. A guy with those types of features, despite being decent, would not stand out on swipe apps or swipe app arranged first dates. Cold approaching would be grueling for that guy and he may or may not have success with it. I think those average to slightly above average guys often end putting something together through social circles (if they have them) or settling for whatever mediocre woman (likely in her 30s) on a swipe app who decides to settle on him if they have weak circles.



Yes, this makes sense. I've seen this work well for men in both shorter term and extended relationships.

6'0"+ is one that works well in the swipe app environment for shorter term sex.

Having a rich dad/rich parents will help with game. It depends upon how rich. Upper middle class won't help that much, though that can help for younger guys 18-25 mostly dealing with 18-25 year old women. Really rich sons (father is CEO of a Top 100 company or majority owner of a notable non-publicly traded company) can play that card for a long time even if they don't end up working in their father's company. The son of a professional athlete who made $50+ million in his career could work if the father didn't blow away his pro sports earnings (most pro athletes have money problems after retirement).

For some men, I've seen a strong social circle being their defining characteristic. These are often blue pill guys who end up as married men. Not the type who spends time on SoSuave or other sites like this.

@sangheilios would have a magic bullet type characteristic. He is 6'4" and has big muscles. However, he has not turned that impressive characteristic into sustainable success.



This is important. It might go along well with #3 in choosing a solid target maket that is going to be interested in you.



This can work, but guys experiencing #1 are going to be more successful. Also, a lot of relationships that form from this would tend to be more unstable than average even though we must acknowledge that almost all romantic relationships are transient. I strongly believe in the concept of a shelf life of goodness of extended romantic relationships in most cases.
Bingo......most guys ( including me) are so generic that they don't really have a target market. The only thing helping me is that I am dark skin bald black dude. There is a market for that. If it wasn't for that I would be generic as fuk.
 
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Maybe in 1980s. But in 2022, no short guy is getting laid alot, no matter how well he "connects" with the girl.
He’s not fvcking models for sure, but he knows the type of girl he can attract and he goes for them. Like SW said, a lot of us are shooting for girls that are outside our target market and getting frustrated. For example, You’re an average guy that has his stuff together and you are obsessing over this YOLO bar hopping girl that chases the tingles and thrills!
 

SW15

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He’s not fvcking models for sure, but he knows the type of girl he can attract and he goes for them. Like SW said, a lot of us are shooting for girls that are outside our target market and getting frustrated. For example, You’re an average guy that has his stuff together and you are obsessing over this YOLO bar hopping girl that chases the tingles and thrills!
Knowing the type of women you can attract, putting together a plan for pursuing them, and then executing that plan is valuable and a critical factor in success.

I would say that there have been times I've tried to go outside a good target, I've ended up frustrated. In college, many of the hottest women on campus (usually part of sororities) weren't giving me the time of day. That was frustrating and upsetting. My approach game at that point in time was not as suave as post college years so in retrospect, that might be a little more understandable. My physique is similar now to what it was in college.

As I gotten deeper in my 30s, another challenge I've had is getting big age gaps. When I swiped on the apps, I could rarely get a date with a woman more than 3 years younger. I was at least getting dates with younger women. That's likely because I filtered out older women. In real life, I've done a little better than that but still getting a woman more than 5 years younger has been challenging. I am fortunate that I've found women in their 30s to be sexually attractive provided that they have a healthy weight. However, even an attractive 35 year old isn't quite as satisfying of an option as an option with a 25 year old.

most guys ( including me) are so generic that they don't really have a target market. The only thing helping me is that I am dark skin bald black dude. There is a market for that. If it wasn't for that I would be generic as fuk.
I'm somewhat generic too and that has worked against me in defining a target market. As I have aged, I have found myself unable to get big age gaps. Therefore, I've needed to date women in their 30s. I'm childless and I want to date childless women. Which women in their 30s tend to be childless? White women with BA/BS degrees or higher. Hispanic women rarely hit age 30 childless.
 

EyeBRollin

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If this isn't cap, you're either rich, very good-looking, and/or you have very high social status...if which case even mentioning you're short is irrelevant bc anyone with those aspects would get laid a lot lol.
I am not rich. However, I do meet the financial threshold for most women. My pics are in the one thread.

I was a system dater. Lots of volume, lots of dates, lots of lays.
 

thelambofdeth

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I am not rich. However, I do meet the financial threshold for most women. My pics are in the one thread.

I was a system dater. Lots of volume, lots of dates, lots of lays.
So...if your experience isn't indicative of most short guys bc you compensate in other areas, it's totally pointless to mention you're short lol. It's like an ugly guy who's super-rich with a famous family saying "I'm ugly, so ugly guys can get laid". The point is if you're short but don't compensate for it, and you're just some average short guy, you're fecked lol.
 

EyeBRollin

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So...if your experience isn't indicative of most short guys bc you compensate in other areas, it's totally pointless to mention you're short lol. It's like an ugly guy who's super-rich with a famous family saying "I'm ugly, so ugly guys can get laid". The point is if you're short but don't compensate for it, and you're just some average short guy, you're fecked lol.
Correct. I am good looking.

However, if I were broke and socially awkward I would not be able to overcome the height. Also, 5’7 isn’t as big a challenge as say.. 5’5 or less. I am still taller than most women.

A buddy of mine, good guy, is an AFC. He is socially awkward, makes $40K per year, and is 6’0. He’s slightly better than average looking. Does not pull the quality nor quantity of woman I have over the years.
 

thelambofdeth

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Correct. I am good looking.

However, if I were broke and socially awkward I would not be able to overcome the height.

A buddy of mine, good guy, is an AFC. He is socially awkward, makes $40K per year, and is 6’0. He’s slightly better than average looking. Does not pull the quality nor quantity of woman I have over the years.
.....that's my point, mate. Yes, good looks and money compensate for a lot. More news at 11, lols.
 
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So...if your experience isn't indicative of most short guys bc you compensate in other areas, it's totally pointless to mention you're short lol. It's like an ugly guy who's super-rich with a famous family saying "I'm ugly, so ugly guys can get laid". The point is if you're short but don't compensate for it, and you're just some average short guy, you're fecked lol.
this is the most Disney bullshvt ever, y’all expect some girl to like a short broke guy out of the goodness of her heart lol.
 

thelambofdeth

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this is the most Disney bullshvt ever, y’all expect some girl to like a short broke guy out of the goodness of her heart lol.
....what?? Did you even read the post you quoted? No one expects that and it was literally being pointed out how that's not true.
 
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