my life sucks, i need a change

[zip]

Hello. I'm new to the forums and joined to see if I could find the help/confidence/motivation to change my life. The situation:

I'm in college, live in a one bedroom apartment, have no friends, no girlfriend, I'm lonely, sad and depressed. Weekends are like hell for me.

Which about sums it up. I've been told I'm a pretty good looking guy but I'm shy and have no guts when it comes to talking to women. I wish they would just come up to me and start a conversation or atleast meet me 1/2 way.

I'm trying to meet friends and women in my classes, but no luck so far. I basically sit in class and say nothing and just act really studious. I see girls looking at me all the time. I look at them too. Nothing happens.

I'm burnt out guys. What can I do? I don't want the rest of my life to be like this.

 

[Brian20o2]

Read the DJB and try to slowly integrate it into your life, after that join a bootcamp. Doing both should take about 6 months or less.

 

[zip]

I already read the DJ Bible. I'm a fulltime student and I'm already disciplined so I don't need a bootcamp.

 

[Brian20o2]

Have you been applying he things you have learned? And I mean DJ BootCamp. Im in one now. Im only on week 3 but I feel good, more social, confident, charming, and my good fun attitude gravitates cool people.

 

[zip]

Oh. Is the DJ bootcamp in the DJ Bible? I mut have missed it. What is it exactly?

 

[JHeights83rd]

b4 u start talking to girls

Im gonna inform u on something b4 u start talking to girls u should solve all ur other problems first. Are u depressed? have no life? these things will not go away by talking to girls, they have to go away b4 talking to girls. Girls dont like someone not enjoying theyre life and they dont want someone with no life. ok

 

[JHeights83rd]

i went through the same thing

and im still going through that, im a freshman right now.
in high school, i was like u said.
heres my input, step in the right direction.
work out get a better body, and pick up a sport. find something u like doing.
u should look at other guys' postures and how they walk and how they carry themselves and try to emulate that. look at urself in the mirror and try to get what u wanna look like. i dont know u my guess is that the way u walk puts out a vibe of dufiness like Kramer from seinfeld. if u dont improve ur over all body language it doesnt matter what slick ***t u can say to a girl, shes gonna wanna get the **** away from u after a little bit. ok

go make friends with guys first. not girls first b/c ur social skills probably suck. Now i dont know if ur from the suburbs and idont know what White people from the suburbs talk about (i know for most minorities from the hood at my school talking to white girls is easy as hell, b/c blacks hispanics will not help u at all in convo, ur game has to b pretty on point) i know among my guy friends talk about sports, rap, clothes, and stuff that goes on where were at. ok i had no friends to start out the first semester but i held convos longer and longer and then ask what people r doing for the night, wait till they invite u, or u feel the vibe that they want u to come. Ok girls do not like a guy with no life so get people u hang out with.

then make friends with some girls maybe 8s or 9s so u get used to being around women and holding interesting convos. b ****y and funny, less kino. girls will seek u out (come to ur dorm or call u to hang out just b/c ur an interesting person)

with this ur life will become better, dont worry about talking to a girl, ur girl "friends" might hook u up with someone when theyre comfortable around u.

and i almost forgot never ask a girl or a guy for help on how to talk to girls. If u ask guys make sure u know them for a minute and say that real subtlly and when subject of girls gets brought up in convo. example 'yeah i know im not the most popular guy with the ladies' then theyll give u theyre input. when u ask real overtly for help like that, ur sending a message:
to guys "im a total loser and i cant get azz from a female if my life depended on it and ur know how to talk to girls where the hell was he in middle smore mack than i am"
to girls "im a total loser I should i have learned how to talk to girls in middle school and high school but i was a loser back then, therefore im not a real man that deserves any kind of respect from females" we (a 18 19 year old guys) r only as good as how many girls we get.

plus girls give bad advice. u should go to barnes and nobles and buy Tariq Nasheed's The Mack Within it will help u adopt the right attitude about women. women r a commodity u dont need them to b happy, and no girl when u first met her, no matter if shes a 10 and ur blinded by her, treat her like shes nothing and uve seen better and u can get better. You dont know her, what shes about or what her intentions r, DO NOT fall in love with her or show appreciation that shes taking time out of her life to talk to u. she has other guys u have other girls, and if uve been talking to her for like 3 mos and shes really special compared to all the other girls ure talking to, then let her decide to b exclusive with her. when u meet her u dont say automatically, shes my girl, im exclusive with her. dont take the attitude, i dont know u that well but from what i know about u, i really really like u. "dont chase females, replace females."(Nasheed, The Mack within) They expect a good looking guy to sweep them off their feet, so no, only morbidly overweight women will meet u have way like that.

read that book, if that book doesnt help u u can have him do an online counseling session for $100. its worth it hes the best. Have u seen MTV made, with Brian who wanted a date to his prom and the guy with all the suits helped him unleash some of his mack potential. yeah its that serious. aight so ima leave ya ********** with that

 

[racerX]

Develope hobbies. Find ones that you interact w/ people. Dont stay home too much-you will get depressed. Dont feel sorry for yourself. Dont think about the past. Only think about the present & future. The past means nothing-you cant change it. Improve your look/style/clothes/haircut.

 

[zip]

My looks, style, haircut and walk are all fine.

One of my hobbies is MA which I seem to meet a lot of older people.

Yeah theres no going back for me. I'm on my own now.

 

[Mintyfresh]

I see girls looking at me all the time. I look at them too. Nothing happens.

umm ... im not sure where you got the idea that things just happen, but you need to make it happen

if you catch an attractive girl checking you out then go talk to her damnit

 

[JHeights83rd]

ok u say u dont have problem

ok if ur problem is that simple, see a group of guys u wanna join and hang out with and do it. Find out about what they talk about. do u know guys who hang out and u wanna join? see them individually and let them think ur a cool guy, talk to some of the girls (as friends) they know. accept social invitations, then u have more to talk about. Make guy friends the girls will come through ur guy friends' girlfriends' friends. guys dont really wanna hook u up with girls, thats more what girls dont mind doing. b/c who wants to try to see another guy screw a girl thats a good friend.

Talk to girls in ur classes first by talking about the class or something, then u bring it more to her. ask about something u see on her and make jokes about it. Do not ask her about so where r u from or her family or her major/her classes in general, thats boring as hell.
ur confidence is definitely low but confidence has to build by experience. ok so to get ur confidence out of the dirt, take the thought from movie hitch "basic principles, no matter what, no matter where, no matter when, no matter who, any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet" believe that u have a chance. Dont say to urself 'im the ish' b/c right now ur not the ***t and ur not really sure of urself. look around for different things on her, joke on it, see what works. dont go to the family, school, job, where u from thing. and dont talk about urself

 

[JHeights83rd]

YO like i said, only less desired women will 'meet u halfway' like that handing u opportunities like that. if she doesnt know u, assume that shes not gonna initiate convo, shes not gonna help u in the convo (telling u more info about themselves making it easy to find something interesting to talk to) she expects a big strong confident sure of himself man, to sweep her off her feet. Dont worry about girls so much. Once girls find out u have no life, theyre gonna go elsewhere. they want someone who already has theyre life together.

 

[zip]

Yeah. Thanks for all your words JHeights83rd. I think you are right. I need to get my life straightened out first.




I'm also addicted to porn and i think its messing with my head and how I view women.

 

[JHeights83rd]

ur addicted to porn

ok yo develope some hobbies to keep u busy, learn another language or something. use ur porn up, say to urself, im gonna bust the best nut ever right here. then when u enjoy life more, take all the porn out of ur house and out of ur computer. do not go back to porn at all. When think about how much u wanna whack off, think to urself that i busted the best nut back then and if i do it again, itll just b the same or probably worse.

theres nothing wrong with feeling like u wanna bang a female in the azz. and when u meet a female for the first time, thats all u know about them, 'i dont know u but i know i would love to hit that azz, and if u prove to me that ur wifey material, ill keep u around after that'
when i know a girl and develpe some kind of respect for her its damn hard for me to think about banging her in the azz but thats me.

1

 

[zip]

bump

 

[organizedconfusion]

do the things of the person you want to become and you become that person naturally- lack confidence ? do things that build confidence in the area you lack. lack humor, watch some comedies, read some humor writing books, meet some 'funny people', lack social skills- be social. I used to dwell ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the time, until i realised that i just needed to get my a$$ out there! the thing about being alone is that it can sap you of all of your energy and make you depressed..or it'll force you into action.

You just have to have enough courage to pull yourself out of a slump and not be soo reliant for others to do it for you..because personaly, i'd rather know full knowledge that i am capable enough to do it on my own-without a bunch of people rooting me on.

you already know what you need to do...most people do.. they just want someone to tell them to do it. suck it up, be a man and talk to some chicks! unless of course you'd rather be alone then by all means...don't forget the lube tube!

 

[JHeights83rd]

organizedconfusion

Ok i dont know whether uve been through that or not. Your advice is ok, but i wish it was that easy like that. ur advice is kinda of like saying the answer is doing something that solves the problem. "U lack social skills, be social" thats good if the only thing he had to do was try. he would know what to do and nah simply "trying" will not get u anywhere,(when ure in the situation like he is) it probably will get u negative results. (ie. go out and try to talk to some girls and they get to know what a boring guy u r and how u have no life) so u gotta know when to try and when to step back.

 

[organizedconfusion]

dude, it is as easy or as hard as you make it- trust me dude, i have had to overcome insanity (quite literly, i was on Anti-psyhcotics for a period of time and it had alot to do with anaylzing things and dwelling things WAY too much) Negative results? soo what! bite the dust if you have to! it's not the end of the world and you MUST REALIZE THAT in order to make any progress, i think alot of guys are afraid to get their ego's bruised and are afraid to fail or 'feel bad' in the process, there are no short cuts to success and sometimes you must hurt- sometimes badly in order to succeed.

look , people can make up 1,000,001 excuses in the world about why this and that won't work or whatever- the point is even if you go out and crash and burn on a dozen- hell ,1,000 approaches by the end of those approaches you'll be ALOT more confident then you were in the beggining... or you can study and read up and psyche yourself up to do it ,or wait until things are 'perfect'- have fun because you'll be waiting forever. failure provides a ton of feedback to work off from and improve ,unless you're a complete dim wit of course.

it seems like everyone wants the results are afraid to put in the effort and are afraid to 'feel bad'or get their 'wee feewings hurt' give me a fat ham sandwhich break already!!! Just go out there and do it! No one is gonna hold your hand or tell you that it's okay and pat you on your back. no one cares about your success more then you! if you can't do this for yourself, what else can't you do?
P.S.
WTF?!
i can barley comprehend what you typed!

 

[JHeights83rd]

respect is not that easy

some things r hard
ok its not as easy as "push harder, it takes pain" u have to know how to push. U wanna know what ur effort is doing. There is a such thing as pushing harder and getting negative results. know how to put ur effort so that it gets u results u want.
its not as easy or as hard as u make it b/c it also depends on other people too, rembember its a college, surrounded by other people. People (especially girls) dont just lose all respect for someone and then just get it back like that. when people lose all respect for u and view u as a loser, u have to do something extraordinary to gain back respect. u have to reinvent a new u but if people see u, a loser, gradually trying to change, u just get shot right back down.

 

[organizedconfusion]

dude, why do ?U Type lk dat?:crackup:

well quit being a loser and quit thinking like one
look , you just need to reasses yourself and take actions, change things you can and WORK ON THOSE! geek schmeek, give me a break..uh, well...quit thinking and acting like such a geek! but new clothes, work out , whatever thats in your control- people see you as a geek? thats their problem- f*ck them! don't worry soo much about that. Refocus on yourself and what needs to be done and the stuff you CAN handle first- f*ck the world and everyone else in it just for a while til you get things handled that you want to get handled. focusing on the negatives only brings about more negativity if you have 1,000,001 reasons why you are a geek or whatever, you'll just find more evidence of it being true because that's what you focus on... the whole woe is me attitude is what keeps people stuck down there in the first place.

you break the mold that you created for yourself by stepping out of it and forcing yourself to change- dude, pushing hard when you need to is different from pushing hard when you are against a brick wall... use common sense. if someone is really that bad then maybe it's time to really think about why they are soo f*cked up in the first place and maybe meeting girls is not the best option. If that was the case, unplug, relax and let go of it all for a few days to collect yourself...thats what i always do.

and caring too much puts undo stress on yourself, sometimes you have to no longer give f*ck and just roll with it.