Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
If that is true you might need some new friends. Figure out what you might like trying and do that. If you really like clubbing go on a night your friends are less likely to go and go alone. Try other clubs.but half my friends are at parties or clubing and the other half are boring and dont want to do anything
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Originally posted by Agressor
where can i go to look for action?
Looks like you answered your own question to me.Originally posted by Agressor
but half my friends are at parties or clubing ...
I feel like a loser going out by myself. what girl would want to talk to me?Originally posted by DJHoolahoop
Yeah man, I'm in a similar situation myself. I phone 10 friends and they're all doing something different with somebody else but me.
So what do I do? I'm training to be a DJ (not just a don juan too) so at times where there's nothing to do, I spin records. Pressuming you don't DJ, then tehre are other things.
- Try learning to dance, so you can go to the club and have a good time. Girls also like guys who dance.
- Try finding a hobby to have fun with on those days where you're bored and by yourself.
- Go to the movies by yourself.
- Play pool by yourself
- Go Bowling by yourself
- Go Clubbing by yourself
- If your city sponsors club parties, then try and go to them. The music, IMO, is a LOT better than what they normally play in bars and it's usually around 5 bux to get in. If you need tips on finding them, try and find music shops or record shops because usually the store clerk should know where you can find out where these sponsored parties are.
Some of these things might seem lame and loserish, but you shouldn't even care about what others think. And what's more loserish and lame? Going out and having a good time by yourself? Or sitting at home whacking off to internet porn saying you wish you had a life?
Trust me, if it's anything like where I had problems. Chances are you don't want to do those thigns alone, but trust me if you have nothing else to do they're great. Remember, who gives a **** about what other people think. Do it because YOU enjoy it, not by how it makes you look in others eyes.
PeACe
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
thats cause you are scared to jsut go out clubbing on your own.Originally posted by Scrumtulescence
I'm sort of in the same situation as you, except to a much, much, much larger extent. People say "just go out and meet new people", but easier said than done to jump-start a non-existent social life.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.