"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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my life is truly a rollercoaster, need some advice too

Deadly_Assassin

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I just started a new job working at a sunglass store at the airport (Auckland, New Zealand). I have met so many pretty chicks in there. I usually just have fun with them, like dont really care about getting their numbers cos most of them are going overseas... Anyway theres are a few chicks at my work, whom i have managed to build up interest without even trying. I dunno how but I was pretty much being myself. One of the chick also knows about my oneitis, the asian chick from church. But just recently i had a car accident and gotta pay up for the damages.

My question is this: u knew a chick liked u before, but u ended up going out with someone else, and she got turned off, then a few weeks later u asked the 1st chick out and she said she wanted someone genuine. Then later on she hears about u going out with someone else again and kinda seems pissed off at u and so then she kinda moves on a while later, she ends up going out with someone else and is still going out with him right now. Is there any way of getting this chick?I can post more details if u want
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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PRMoon

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This thread makes me wonder, is there really a question to be awnsered her? I mean really how many people here really present there thoughts in an organized fashion that other people can understand and analyize? Do they want help or are they just writing for attention? Regardless I don't understand what's being asked here.
 

Julian

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You let her pass you by. A couple times it seems like. Just move on, if she comes along and shows interest, play it cool and bang her.
 

Deadly_Assassin

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iam writing for help. if i knew what needed to be done I wouldnt even log on this website. I already get my fair share of attention from chicks. My question is how to build up lost interest. And dont give me that play it cool, or back off for a while crap cos it didnt work. (The chick thought I didnt care about her when I started ignoring her).

I am good mates with her right now, not in a desperate AFC way. There is always some tension between us, its hard to explain. Like the last time I told her how I thought my mate and her mate suit each other and her mate is really unique, the chick looked really surprised and she kinda seemed a bit jealous. Later on in the conversation she started bringing up this other guy who likes her, I dunno whether she was trying to test me or what and she was asking me whether she should tell that guy about her bf. I just said I cant really say.

Dat same night I was kinda talking to her about her bf. The topic accidently came up. At the end of the convo she pretty much told me dat it was a temporary thing and as soon as it seems she cant get anything out the relationship she was gonna call it quits. I didnt say much to dat.

her bf is 29, shes 19. Hes a bit of a wuss, pretty average looking, no sense of fashion, seems like a nice guy, he is intelligent, and got some masters degree, and is written a couple of books, but hes not rich and is a teacher. I think that hes been talking a lot of crap to her just to suck up to her especially about christianity and blah blah blah. (shes a christian btw)

He kept asking her out till she said yes. She put these conditions on the relationship on how physically at the most they will hold hands only when necessary. Not calling each other all the time, and not getting attached to each other. Apparantly he said thats the exact relationship he was after. Shes been hurt with her past relationship and dat was her only relationship, she even made up her mind one time that she will stay single for the rest of her life. They have been going out for three months, and shes been trying to hide the relationship for the whole time. Hes of the bahai faith.
 
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Are you saying this "christian" girl is cheating on her man??? She is not a christian then, is she!!!

You gave her a chance and she shunned you - what can you do? Not much since she knows your interest - her lost!! Don't suck up to her!!!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Deadly_Assassin

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lol, shes not cheating on her bf, she never would, i think shes just not sure of him cos of him being non-christian and her being one. Shes not sure if hes the one for her ( Is it him that God wants her to go out with and settle down). She says hes got everything she wants in a guy ( if i tell what that is you guys will laugh your head off ) except that hes a christian. I kinda had a debate with her saying God only wants us to go out with christian people and I kinda backed it up from the Bible. She started agreeing with me and saying that this relationship of hers, shes just gonna make it temporary thing.

I am not sucking upto her in any way. I am just trying to be myself. If she doenst like me for who I am, her loss. But my other mate thinks I just havent shown enough interest in her. I said yea maybe. Like I keep my distance from her sometimes at church, when she talks to me, I dont get all exicted about it. I hardly compliment her or let her catch me checking her out. I will probably text her or email her once or twice a week. I do ignore her once in a while.

Well these are the events that happened a couple of days ago. I asked her if I needed to be a student to study at the uni library. Thats all I asked her. ( txted her btw, I do my uni online and needed to go a really good library to get some books for my assignment).

her: u need to be a student to get the books out but u can still study there, email me cos I am running out of credit on my fone.

I dont email her, but she ends up emailing me a couple of hours later.

her: if u want we can meet up and I can get the books out for u. Just tell me which ones u want or I can just bring them to u on thursday at the bibliology class.

me: yea that would be good thanx. and then I gave her a small list of books i was after

her: k i will try to get them, i have got a auckland city library card as well and we could try there, btw if you need someone to study with or need to use me as a sounding board to understand things we've learnt in class then just give me a call whenever. Its really important to reinforce your learning with different methods and one of the best known ways is explaining something you've learnt with another person.

me: yea that would be good too, i think i could learn a lot studying with u. cheers


Then we arranged to meet up at her uni. I met her at the library we went and got the books out and she said lets go outside cos we cant talk in here. We went out to a park and we were just talking about what we were learing, i tried to talk about other stuff as well like her legs that seemed like she had forgotten to wax them for a couple of days. She said she didnt care. time kinda flew and it was time for her lecture. She then told me that i should go with her to her lecture. I was like what? she said it would be good cos theres a lot of paintings on Christ and Mary (shes studying art history). I didnt say anything at first, she then said yea but it might get boring for u i guess, I said to her if it gets boring I will just walk out.

The lecture went fine, we were a little late and 10mins later both sides of the long desks I was sitting at got blocked off. And the class being really small, like 30 ppl i think, I didnt wanna disturb anyone cos it would kinda make a scene. I was one of only two guys in her class : )

Well after the lecture I went home and she had some other stuff to do. That night she emailed me saying heres some more information on the stuff we were on about. I replied saying thanx for today, I had a good time hanging around with u. laters...
 

cirtran

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It sounds to me like she only wants you when you both are absolutely single and not dating anybody else. But I didn't read all of your posts, just your first one.
 

SELF-MASTERY

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this reads like an articlle out of cosmo. I would forget about her, or wrestle her away from her man.
 

Deadly_Assassin

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wrestle her away from her man
hahahaha, wouldnt be too much of a problem, but I would want her to come to me. I dunno I will just chill out for a while and see where this goes. Cos things have become quite interesting lately and I am suppose to be bringing these two chicks from my work to my church in a couple of weeks, I wanna see what effect it has on her. ( its a special church function and we gotta try bringing someone new to the church ). I will make sure she knows that they are my mates from work.

We kinda always sit next to each other in church or she will sit with my family quite a bit and quite a few people are assuming theres something going on between us. One of the associate pastors suggested last nite that I should take her out to the movies even as friends will be fine. (I was thingking no crap mate!!!, but I just replied saying na, not really ay, I dont want them finding out) I think i can use this to my advantage but not too sure how!
 

Deadly_Assassin

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I am gonna change my id, I dont want that "senior DJ" under my name, I dont think it helps in any way.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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