my internet personals ad......

[Desdinova]

If your curious, look up complex-PTSD on that site.

I know what PTSD is, because I also have it. I was physically abused as a child, and I was beaten up on a daily basis when I was in Junior High. It was so bad that I would start shaking uncontrollably whenever I would even think about going to school.

My triggers were screaming children and when someone would quickly raise their arm.

What helped me is looking into what caused my fears, facing my fears, and building my confidence (thanks to this site). I rarely have anything trigger my PTSD.

PTSD is a psychological disorder, not a physical problem.

 

[ogre]

Look into the long-term physical health affects listed on that site. I highly recommend. link:
http://www.bullyonline.org/stress/ptsd.htm

 

[Desdinova]

Look into the long-term physical health affects listed on that site.

Okay, so I'll restate myself. PTSD is a phychological problem that can lead to physical health problems. However, you should know by now that dealing with the physical health problems isn't going to do a fvcking thing for you. You have to deal with the root of the problem.

Honestly, it really sounds as if you're letting the physical effects of PTSD prevent you from being successful with women. The psychological part of it does it automatically (I know that from experience). So, you've got two things working against you; the PTSD itself, and the physical problems that have developed because of it. However, you're the one who is letting it prevent you from being successful with women.

I'll tell you how I overcame it being a roadblock with women. I had to ACCEPT that I had a psychological disorder (even though I didn't know what it was called at the time) and I let my girlfriend at the time know that I had it. Trust me, it was triggered a few times while I was with her. But there was a difference between her who knew about it and any person who didn't know about it. She understood that it was an uncontrollable problem I had instead of asking me "Did you think I was going to hit you?" I never told any guys that I had PTSD. I've previously found that guys will find a weakness in somebody and work at exposing it. Women won't do that because they don't have the need to feel "macho".

I've only found out that my disorder was called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder about 2 years ago. I'll tell you something, it was a huge relief to finally be able to put a name to it instead of calling it "this reaction thing from my physically abusive past".

 

[Alpine]

Ogre,

Looks like you're making some progress and you are obviously an intelligent chap. I'm 40 and no Brad Pitt, but because I've just gone out and done a lot of the things sugeested on the board I've proved to myself that it IS possible to hook up with some very nice ladies.

One thing I've noticed just reading this thread through from the start, there is a common thread.

People keep making you aware of the fact that you joke about your lot. They keep telling you to stop it because it reinforces those beliefs, you can use it as a comforter from changing and well, it just is a turn off to all.

This was what I used to do all the time, I thought I was a bit of a Woody Allen. What I've found is it keeps you fvcked up. Ditch it, it only repels people.

Here's an exercise, if you can follow through on this I think everyone here will be greatly impressed and keen to continue helping and supporting your efforts.

Ok, from now on do not make a joke about your situation. By all means express any challenges but find away to express them as such.

This forces you to think about things in a different way, it breaks the pattern response and gets you to consciously decide how you want to think.

Now writing is easier than talking, so I'm sure it will be quite straightforward, IF you are prepared to just give it a try and see if you notice a difference.

Let's see.

 

[englishman]

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
You know what ogre, I'm getting tired of your self deprication. It gets old. Your whinning about yourself starts with calling yourself ogre and it goes on and on and on.

So what if your short and pot bellied. It's not like you CANT lose weight. So what your hairy. It's not like there is nothing you can't do about it.

What you need to do is quit using this board for sympathy votes to make you feel better. At almost 40 years of age you shoulda grown outta that long ago.

I will not feed into your obsession with YOU, cause that is all it truely is. I am doing you one better. My goal is to get you to stop whinning about what life delt you and start standing up as a man.

**** try being black during the 60's 50's 40's and way back...

Or try of being Chineese back when they were forced to build the railroads.

Try being Japanese when we locked them up in concentration camps.

Try being American Indians when we took their lands and put them on property where you couldn't possible eek out a living.

You should have a lot to be thankful for and when I see people like you acting this way it makes my stomach wanna heave!

Try being white when you were drafted into world war 1 and 2 not to mention all the other wars and blown into small pieces along with millions of other white men! or thrown in jail if you said you wouldnt go...

 

[englishman]

Hey ogre, im over 40 and was sleeping with a 26 year old and before that 27..... come on, get into gear man......ever watch those tv shows where they get some fat hairy guy with bad dress sense and tidy him up? check em out........

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

OGRE (nice name ), your posting (ad) disappeared - what's up?? 40 is still young - do not give up until 56!!!

 

[ogre]

ads are deleted from craigslist after 10 days. Btw my ad got no responses. I suppose it was a dumb idea in the first place.

If I do decide to place another ad, I've decided to just do what everyone else does, that is, lie like a bastard. Honesty is not, nor has ever been, the best policy when it comes to women. Better to describe myself as "strikingly handsome" and all that. You don't think so? well then you have bad taste.

as for the self-depricating bit, yeah, I suppose that shyt gets old fast, and I don't want to seem like Woody Allen, he's not funny, he just makes me want to vomit. Besides, it just draws attention to those things which I would prefer are overlooked.

 

[Strctlypltnc]

HHHHHmmmmmm....... I'm gonna give this self-depravation thing a try

Hi I'm Rick, and although I'm still pretty good lookin for 35 . I've , recently ended a 12 yr relationship "with a manic-depressive stripper on prozac " therefore I have no interest in you as a person I only wish to F&*$ your brains out because I'm still bitter and angry !!!!!!!!!

 

[Devestator]

Go to the "Online dating 101" thread by Playa Supreme. He has his ad in there. Copy/paste his ad into your ad. It's working for me, anyway I think he stole it from somewhere else anyway.

When you go on dates, make sure you have the ad down cold. She might ask you about it. Also, you need to get into character, like an actor. Pretending to be other people is an unavoidable stage in going from AFC to DJ.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by ogre
ads are deleted from craigslist after 10 days. Btw my ad got no responses. I suppose it was a dumb idea in the first place.

If I do decide to place another ad, I've decided to just do what everyone else does, that is, lie like a bastard. Honesty is not, nor has ever been, the best policy when it comes to women. Better to describe myself as "strikingly handsome" and all that. You don't think so? well then you have bad taste.

It's disheartening to see that it has to come to this to appeal to women, or just believing that this is actually necessary.

 

[Devestator]

Being real doesn't do anything unless you already had what they want. If you did, you wouldn't be here. This site is about crafting a grand illusion. I agree with Ogre, but believe the deception should be greater.

You need the lie to extend to your whole person. You will create a fictious person based on personality traits delineated here. You will rehearse this character, and the girl will fall in love with the image.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Devestator
Being real doesn't do anything unless you already had what they want. If you did, you wouldn't be here. This site is about crafting a grand illusion. I agree with Ogre, but believe the deception should be greater.

You need the lie to extend to your whole person. You will create a fictious person based on personality traits delineated here. You will rehearse this character, and the girl will fall in love with the image.

Are you saying that when everyone else is evolving into a new persona you just fake it and BS your way through?

 

[Devestator]

Basically, "fake it till you make it." "Evolving into a new persona" is exactly what I just said, only more diplomatic.

Whilst "evolving", don't you find yourself disassociating you true self from your actions, like you are an outside observer? Could it be that the dj is the lonliest person on earth? He's always in the mix, always loved, but not quite "there."

The DJ is not really loved for who he is. The "Never be Yourself" artcle has always remained on the first page as others came and went.

 

[ogre]

"Never be Yourself"

where is this page? I want to see it.

Devestator, you are right. being myself is the WORST strategy. Chicks DON'T like me. Besides my age and looks, I am too weird. Every strategy I've tried thus far has failed.

I am considering trying yet another strategy, and that is to go beyond "fake it 'til you make it" and just lie to the point of absurdity. Never give a straight answer. this is in line with some of the C+F technique and super-macking. it's very difficult for me to maintain this, as I am a lousy liar. I've always been a very honest person. but I am getting old fast, my occupation and lifestyle leaves me isolated for days on end, especially in this cold weather, I am not getting any play at all, not even on the internet classifieds. Nothing seems to work, I'm running out of ideas and I'm starting to freak out again.

 

[Devestator]

It is on the first page. It's called "Why not be yourself?" It's been under "what's new" for at least a year.

You should not do this out of self loathing but out of self love. You have within yourself to be the person you want to be. Sometimes while I'm dreaming, I'll wake up. I'll remember that some of the characters in my dream are very smooth and confident. But where do these characters come from? MY OWN MIND! So I can choose to be these characters. Think about it.

My previous post was filled with bitterness and anger. Please do me a favor and learn from people more advanced than mysef. In fake till you make it, remember to MAKE IT. The act will become you.