"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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My interesting dance experience...

Sir Lancelot

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So this girl asks me to Tolo, a dance that our school has in March. I've known her for a year or so now, she's hot, and a friendly person overall (used to be...). I'm pretty sure she's a sunshine girl, since she'll act attracted one day, and then act like she's not the next. So anyway, SHE asked ME to the dance, so I figured there had to be some sort of interest. Fast forward to the date.

She was pretty unexcited to see me when we met beforehand, overall. I didn't get any vibe from her at all. Basically no signs of attraction whatsoever. I knew that the dance probably wouldn't go so well.

Guess what she did as soon as we got to the dance? Ran away from me. She actually ran away. I was shocked. She ran into a big crowd of people, and I was left there feeling like a complete tool. I played her game of hide-and-seek for a while and tried searching for her but then gave up. I honestly didn't know what to do in this situation, so I just found some friends and danced with them. They were of course feeling really bad for me (which made me feel even worse), since they were all with their dates and mine ran off somewhere. I danced with a few girls that I knew and started to have a good time. Then I found my "date", finally (about 30 min. later). I say "So... where've you been?", she didn't really give me a straight answer. She just pulled me into the crowd and we grinded for a while. Then she ran off again. At this point I was pretty pissed off. My friends (who didn't go to the dance) called me to check on my situation, and said they were going to a party. There was only about 10 minutes left until the dance was over, and I was pretty pissed at my date so I had them pick me up. I found my date before I left (out of sheer luck) and told her that I was leaving, and that I wasn't going to hang out tonight. She just kind of glared and walked off.

I left the dance with some friends and we went to that party. She calls me on my cell phone, and proceeds to completely b**ch me out. I was like wtf, what did you expect me to do, hang around after you treated me like a little *****? She hung up on me, then called me back again a few minutes later. She started b**ching again so I hung up on her. She tried calling back a few times, but I didn't answer it. I wound up having a good time that night. These girls at the party were totally into me, and I almost forgot about my date for a while.

OK, so come monday at school (two days after the dance), things are AWKWARD as hell. She told everybody that I ditched her, and tried to make me come off as a complete jerk. I talked to a few of the dudes that have taken her to dances in the past, and they tell me that she's always like that at the dances, and that they just put up with it. I'm like wtf, why would you put up with that BS? What's the use of taking her to the dance if you're only going to see her for 5 minutes total? I talked to a natural DJ friend of mine and he said that I did what any self-respecting guy would do.

She tries to talk to me on Monday, she said that she didn't want anything to be negative between us. I was completely cold to her. The only words that I said to her were that she treated me like a tool and that I didn't appreciate it at all. She played dumb and said something like "What do you mean?", I just told her that I didn't want to talk about it anymore and then went into a different room. I was still pissed about the dance.

Some of her friends told me the next day that she cried after I walked away, and that I should talk to her.

Anyway, now its friday. I've cooled off a bit from that weekend, and I figure that I might as well try to make things better (this might've been a mistake). I saw her walking to the parking lot right as school ended, so I walked up to her and tried talking to her. She wouldn't let me. She just completely WENT OFF on me, she almost went neurotic. She was spouting BS like she was a good date, and that I had no reason to ditch her. When she was busy going psycho on me I just said, "God, I don't even know why I tried talking to you. This is hopeless." And then walked off.

So anyway, this is just kind of a rant. I'm sorry this is so long, I just really needed to vent.

If you guys were in my shoes, what would you have done? I think it might've been a better move if I had talked to her at the dance about disrespecting me, instead of just leaving her. Right now I'm completely confused.

EDIT: Just to clarify, I DON'T want to get with this girl. Way too much of a headache. I would like to just become friends though, but now I don't think that'll happen.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Kidd

Senior Don Juan
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You did well.

Leave this ***** alone bro. She has issues.
 

California Love

Master Don Juan
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The last move was bad, but you handled everything else well. It's always hard not to succumb to temptation, especially when the chick is hot. As you probably know by now, it's best to sever your ties with her.
 

Sir Lancelot

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Originally posted by California Love
The last move was bad, but you handled everything else well. It's always hard not to succumb to temptation, especially when the chick is hot. As you probably know by now, it's best to sever your ties with her.
Yeah, I had that feeling. When her friends told me that she cried is when I started thinking that I should talk to her. But a good friend of mine (who's a girl) told me that that's just a common trick they use to get guys to cave. I should have listened to her.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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