My girlfriend and her GUY friends..

[aznxboi]

Wasssup Fella,

Long story, short. My girlfriend and I have almost been going out for several months now. Mainly her college friends are guys from high school. There this one dude, that she been friends with for 3 years. He's constantly teasing her on facebook and in person when i'm not there. And, she tells me when I ask her. I have never met him before, nor do I want to. They been friends for a long time, I only know my girlfriend for about 5 months. But, it seems like she does not care if I check out other girls. She even said ''lets go check out girl together at school!"

What should I go about this? I don't want to seem like the overprotected boyfriend, nor the jealous type. Thanks!!!

 

[Tiguere]

displaying confidence is key here. you cant let her see you insecure. if i were you i would go out of my way to meet the guy and have a talk . talk about bull****. friendzone his ass. show her you are the prize and not her. if there is one that should be worried here, is her losing you to someone better than her...... not you losing her to a chump.

 

[aznxboi]

The guy is currently in the friendzone, no doubt.

 

[(JJ)]

The guy is currently in the friendzone, no doubt.

Uhhh... I wouldn't say that with such confidence if I were you. Sounds like you've seen him tease her and generally not be friend zone material around her. Esp if you have to come on here and ask...

 

[cola]

Ok. Let me dissect this situation a little bit

Long story, short. My girlfriend and I have almost been going out for several months now. Mainly her college friends are guys from high school. There this one dude, that she been friends with for 3 years.

Alright, lets pause right here. She has been friends with him for 3 years. If he hasn't banged her yet, good chance he never will. Its possible hes a closet homosexual or your girlfriend is just that cool, that she can hang with dudes and they don't only think about banging her. You know her better than us, so ask yourself that question. If you answer yes, than calm down and stop being insecure. If the answers no, your girls a female pimp, and shes playing you, or perhaps hes gay. Continue;

He's constantly teasing her on facebook and in person when i'm not there.

If hes a guy, and their friends hes going to tease her; The reason for this being that when friends are comfortable they tease each other. This is why we use ****y and funny.

For Example: When your with your guy friends, most real close friends playfully tease each other, you know strange nicknames and the like?
My best friend called me "Professor Sh*tty" Boots because I stepped in some dog poo with some timberland on.
And I call him "Sway JR" from MTV news because he looks like him with his dreads...

They been friends for a long time, I only know my girlfriend for about 5 months. But, it seems like she does not care if I check out other girls. She even said ''lets go check out girl together at school!"

Your girlfriend is awesome! I would love a chick to tell me this and still let me bang her.. She may even be bisexual;

What should I go about this? I don't want to seem like the overprotected boyfriend, nor the jealous type. Thanks!!!

Just chill dude. Hes a guy friend, and its nothing wrong with that. Also, its really looks insecure when you start trippin' over her guy friends and asking questions about them, etc.

Your making a mountain out of a mole hill.

 

[Scars]

Her hanging out with a bunch of dudes when you're not around is a huge red flag. The fact that she wants you to "check out" girls with her is an even bigger one.

She is most likely letting this guy get balls deep in her every time you're not around.

Look at the facts.

Do you think it's really probable that they've been in a completely platonic friendship for 3 years? Guy friends are like satellites, they hover around woman hoping someday they'll get lucky. Chances are he already has.

They talk frequently online. And he is "busting her balls" which shows he has at least some level of game.

The fact that she WANTS you to check out other girls is not the same logic a faithful girlfriend would have. Despite her rationalism of "security" or "being confident". Nope. She is fvcking this guy behind your back, perhaps even more and feels bad about it. Her giving you "permission" to "look" at other woman is simply a coping mechanism for her.

GTFO while you still can.

 

[aznxboi]

Holy crap. Amazing. Your amazing.

He's not homosexual, this dude never had a girlfriend before. And, my girlfriend never had a boyfriend for like 4 years already. Really hard to believe. All her friends were surprise, when she finally hook up with someone (which is me). She claims all her girlfriend from high school, did not attend this college. But, her guy friend did. Thats why she mostly hang out with guys.

And, for the checking out girl part. It could be a sh*t test. To see am I trustworthy. Who knows..

But yeah, what you said really make sense. Awesome, thanks for the advice bro!

 

[Scars]

Holy crap. Amazing. Your amazing.

He's not homosexual, this dude never had a girlfriend before. And, my girlfriend never had a boyfriend for like 4 years already. Really hard to believe. All her friends were surprise, when she finally hook up with someone (which is me). She claims all her girlfriend from high school, did not attend this college. But, her guy friend did. Thats why she mostly hang out with guys.

And, for the checking out girl part. It could be a sh*t test. To see am I trustworthy. Who knows..

But yeah, what you said really make sense. Awesome, thanks for the advice bro!

From my personal experience any girl that had a lot of orbiting guy friends was usually bad news.

She may not of had a boyfriend but it doesn't mean she wasn't sleeping around. In fact, if she had a plenty supply of orbiting guy friends it makes perfect sense. The AFC ones to supply her with emotions and feeding off the male attention, and the others with a bit more game who she could casually fvck.

Don't buy her friends word for a second. Were they guys? You've also only known this girl for 5 months. It's way too soon for a judgment call on either her OR her friends. Do you really think her friends would have their best interest in you over her? I doubt it.

Have you ever stopped to think that maybe she just didn't have many girl friends even before college? HS isn't the end of the world. Does she even try to stay in contact with her female friends? That's some clues to look for.

Sh!t test for trust worthiness? How ironic of a test when she is suddenly getting more male attention than usual. Does she really think SHE is the one that needs to worry? The only thing she is worried about is getting caught and being exposed as a slvt.

Sorry to be so blunt, but I've been in similar situations and it sucks. I hate to see guys getting crushed over sh!t like this, but it's honestly time to leave.

 

[cola]

Scars, your tripping. What you need to understand is females are going to f*ck guys and that's ok. That doesn't make them bad people.. Other things they do might, but not that.

 

[xdreamz]

if you ever go drop her off to where her friend is at just be like : 'go **** your boyfriend now'

 

[strong like bull]

if youre in an EXCLUSIVE relationship,

girls with a bunch of guy friends = big red flag

girls who hang out with other guys ("friends" or not) when youre not around = big red flag


if you want to know where she stands, tell her in passing about how youre gonna go hang out with a female friend... the hotter that female friend is the better.

for what its worth, being young college kids maybe you should just make the best of it and try hooking up a threesome with some hot chick you and your girl pick up.

but when youre looking to settle down and be exclusive... if you get that funny feeling in your gut, that somethings wrong, when your gf tells you about hanging out with all her guy friends and blah blah blah... thats usually your instincts telling you that something really is WRONG.

-slb

 

[Sofomore]

You guys are overreacting. I personally am friends with many girls- some sexual and some not. The average guy does not really know when he is friend-zoned. From 6th grade to 10th i was friend zoned nonstop. It took me until my junior year to finally realize I had NO chance with them.

Take this advice: Stop over-analyzing. She is not fcking him. They are like guy friends...laugh at similar stuff, tease eachother, and touch (non-sexually). Its simple. He may have been rejected by her at one point but they have such a strong bond that he doesn't mind having a non-sexual friend.

I am the same way with my friends that are female. I feel that there are three categories of girls: The ones you fck, the ones you arent sexual with (friendzone), and the ones you dont have enough information about to decide which category.

He is DEEP into the friendzone. Probably so deep that hes accepted that he doesnt have a chance, but has a little sister to joke around with. Chill out, youre fine.

 

[dj_china]

I think she trusts you -- thats the only reason she wants to go check out other girls with you
or she wants to see what kind of girls you like, etc. but i dont think its going to be a problem

i do think the flirty messages with her guy friend is a problem, but you'll have to deal with it subtly. if you confront her she will just withdraw more from you and run to him

 

[Scars]

Scars, your tripping. What you need to understand is females are going to f*ck guys and that's ok. That doesn't make them bad people.. Other things they do might, but not that.

I'm perfectly aware of woman's amoralism. It doesn't bother me in the least bit. I can handle one of my plates fvcking guys behind my back, because at the same time I've got a revolving door of pvssy at my disposal. Some guys can handle it and others can't. However, if it were a girl I happen to put a lot of investment in such as a GIRLFRIEND then I would not stand for that sh!t in the least bit. Why even get involved in a committed relationship if all your looking for is sex? Why live a life of lies? Relationships are supposed to be built on trust, and based from the simple facts already mentioned you can tell this one has been tainted.

I don't understand how I'm tripping. Simply because I know a red flag when I see one? I've been in the same situation one time too many.

To the OP, trust your gut.

 

[zekko]

I think that the fact that she wanted to go "check out girls" with you suggests that she is very open minded sexually. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it makes me wonder about her relationships with these "guy friends" of hers. If she's free sexually, maybe she has had sex with them. But I sure can't tell from here. What does your gut tell you?

 

[slaog]

Her intentions are confusing. So she wants you to go check out other girls. This isn't normal girlfriend behaviour.


Is your GF very confident and happy with her life? Does she sense that you might be a little jealous of her having guy friends? Maybe shes trying to balance things out but at the same time it doesn't seem like shes too concerned if something would happen between you and some other girl.


Does she talk about being with you long term?


What you the OP need to realise that everybody is human and if people of the opposite sex are hanging out they can and sometimes do develop feelings for each other. This is human nature and thats why we say its a red flag if girls have many guy friends.

 

[zekko]

What you the OP need to realise that everybody is human and if people of the opposite sex are hanging out they can and sometimes do develop feelings for each other. This is human nature and thats why we say its a red flag if girls have many guy friends.

Yeah, if she's not concerned about what might happen between you and another girl, maybe it's because she's got it going on with other guys so she doesn't really care and doesn't want you going all AFC on her.

I agree with many guy friends being a red flag. That usually means that they either have personality issues and can't keep female friends, or are attention hoes, or just plain hoes. Neither of which are desireable qualities in a long term girlfriend, if that's what your going for. If she's just a fvck buddy, then who cares? Unless you're worried about catching some sort of disease.

 

[Weezy]

From my personal experience any girl that had a lot of orbiting guy friends was usually bad news.

She may not of had a boyfriend but it doesn't mean she wasn't sleeping around. In fact, if she had a plenty supply of orbiting guy friends it makes perfect sense. The AFC ones to supply her with emotions and feeding off the male attention, and the others with a bit more game who she could casually fvck.

Don't buy her friends word for a second. Were they guys? You've also only known this girl for 5 months. It's way too soon for a judgment call on either her OR her friends. Do you really think her friends would have their best interest in you over her? I doubt it.

Have you ever stopped to think that maybe she just didn't have many girl friends even before college? HS isn't the end of the world. Does she even try to stay in contact with her female friends? That's some clues to look for.

Sh!t test for trust worthiness? How ironic of a test when she is suddenly getting more male attention than usual. Does she really think SHE is the one that needs to worry? The only thing she is worried about is getting caught and being exposed as a slvt.

Sorry to be so blunt, but I've been in similar situations and it sucks. I hate to see guys getting crushed over sh!t like this, but it's honestly time to leave.

Wow, this post speaks volumes to me...

I agree that girls with lots of guy orbiters are bad news. Most of the time it's cause they just love the attentions.

In my previous relationship, I ran into this, and for the first half of the relationship I played the I don't give a fvck card.

Then she makes friends with a new dude in her appt, and I still play this card, however he proceeds to kick on her door several times after coming home from the bar at 2:30 in the morning while I'm sleeping there.

I become more alarmed and start to get more specifics, I asked what he was texting her the night before. Turns out this guy who met me 1x was talking MAD sh1t about me and he didn't even know me... Next thing I know I see where she invited him into her bedroom to "talk while she's falling asleep".

After that I could never ever trust her and everytime she would hang out with guy friends I would think about this one tool who she eventually nexted and get paranoid about it. Not a cool way to be in a LTR.

 

[strong like bull]

theres been so much talk about whats right or wrong, red flag or paranoia... that its easy to overlook one of the most important questions a man can ask himself..

"is THAT the kind of girl that i want?"

what it boils down to is that he needs to ask himself if thats the kind of girl he wants to be exclusive with. a guy isnt crazy just because he doesnt want to be with a girl who hangs out with random dudes.

-slb

 

[WC2]

I think Scars has a good grasp on what many girls with many guy friends usually entails -- misery.

However, look at it like this. Not everything is certain. Not every red flag leads to some rotten cheating vag!na.

The only way to really know is to know who this girl is. You've known her for 5 months, hell you should know at least some of her past. A girl's past plays huge roll in what she is going to do in the future; and they usually repeat.

If she's been a repeat cheating offender
OR
Slept around
OR
Had more one night stands than relationships
OR
Is known to be easy to persuade

She's probably not just friends with this guy; or at least she wasn't.

I remember my boy's ex who we always thought was so cool back in the day cause she had a bunch of guy friends.

In reality, she was just seeking attention from the lessers, while she was banging 2 of his friends. Nothing constant, just the occasional

"Oh my boyfriend isn't here, I'm lonely. Come cuddle, nothing else."

Of course her intentions are more than just cuddling.

Draw conclusions based upon what you know about your girl. Maybe ask yourself, WOW do I really know who she is? A man should be informed if he is in a LTR, or else what's the point? I'd much rather be single. If you aren't informed of your GF's sexual past or her past with these friends, then you just aren't seeing clearly enough; or you're choosing to block it from your vision.

After you do this, the hardest part is taking the high road either way.

If you're going to trust that she is just friends with these guys, then you must trust her fully and never become self-conscious of this. The more you worry, the less she does, and the more she's going to want to worry about other more secure men.

If you've decided that these friends could in fact be more than friends, tread carefully. Directly questioning your girl is a huge blunder. If you don't know, you'll never find out from her. Start molding your life more around yourself than her and this will clear your mind.

Once you've become more independent in yourself, things will become extremely clear. You'll be able to see exactly what is going on and who she is truly flirting with and f*cking.

I honestly didn't know my ex best until I separated myself from her; it gives you vision from the outside you never knew before.