"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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My girl friend.... ?

S

slaog

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I have a girl as a friend who is in a relationship. She's looking to branch swing... we have met a few times and she has given me confusing signals. She says things like we're only friends etc and although we dated she insists we're just friends. I met her online and she doesn't have too many friends.

She knows I'm interested in her and after a long talk we decided we shouldn't meet anymore but next day she suggested meeting up sometimes... just as friends. She mentioned going for weekends away too.

She also told me there are lots of men who want to date her and she also said she's looking for love so naturally I'm thinking she likes me but don't know how much. I told her I'm interested in her and also showed her I'm willing to walk away even if it was hard for me to do and I think this has gained me more respect.

At the start she said she didn't think I'd contact her again because i didn't show much interest which is nonsence... she must be a female AFC to think like that.


Anybody have any thoughts or experiance any similar situations? Should I go by her words or actions. I personally always say actions but maybe she does want to be friends??
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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J

Jeffst1980

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Impossible to know for sure without more details on the two of you---i.e. when you dated in relation to her relationship, if you made out with her, if you had sex with her, etc.--but here's my hunch:

She's pulling the "let's meet up as friends" play out of the playbook knowing FULL well that you two will hook up. Of course, she can't outright say that (and neither should you), so this "friends" business gives her a way of saying it "just happened" without taking responsibility. After all, you were "just friends!"

In a TRUE LJBF rejection, a woman usually doesn't want to hang out as friends--it's too awkward and she would feel uncomfortable spending time one on one with a guy that pines for her. LJBF is a REJECTION, not a counter offer. The woman you're dealing with seems to legitimately want to spend time with you--otherwise, she wouldn't bring it up. There clearly is some attraction at play.

She doesn't sound like she's got her s#it together, though, and it would appear that she's a blatant cheater. Personally, I would refuse to do anything with her until she gets that boyfriend out of the picture. Girls like this love the ego boost and drama fix they get from two men fighting over them, but it just complicates things for the new guy.
 
N

NewMan

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don't worry about whats coming out of her mouth - the way she acts will tell you where you stand.

stop talking so much with her and "just do it"
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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