Dhoulmagus
Banned
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Is this normal? I tell her to initiate it lol
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
My gf wants me to call her every night
- Thread starter Dhoulmagus
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
BrainDamage92
Master Don Juan
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Call her sometimes but let her call too. Split it 50\50. Then again, I trained every GF I had that she needs to do the calling but ye if shes an evil ***** even that doesnt work in the long run.
Split 50\50.
Split 50\50.
A high quality guy is too busy to speak on the phone every night. Doing so will demonstrate you are not high quality and eventually turn her off.
Reasons you don't call every night:
-Absence makes the heart grow fonder
-Protect sense of mystery
-It leaves interesting conversations to be had face to face where they count
-You have the time do stuff that men (rather than teenage girls) do
-All of the above will count in her favor and you'll find the relationship more interesting too
If you call her every night it is because you are afraid that not doing so will result in you losing her. A strong relationship doesn't depend on calling every night. A strong man isn't afraid of losing a woman in order to set appropriate boundaries.
Reasons you don't call every night:
-Absence makes the heart grow fonder
-Protect sense of mystery
-It leaves interesting conversations to be had face to face where they count
-You have the time do stuff that men (rather than teenage girls) do
-All of the above will count in her favor and you'll find the relationship more interesting too
If you call her every night it is because you are afraid that not doing so will result in you losing her. A strong relationship doesn't depend on calling every night. A strong man isn't afraid of losing a woman in order to set appropriate boundaries.
Dhoulmagus
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You are right. I told her to just call me if she really needed to call me, but she's done it three nights in a row. Will just saying I'm too busy p!ss her off?OnTheRun said:
sylvester the cat
Master Don Juan
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A high quality guy is also too busy to post on internet forums, so what? I doubt OP is trying to pass himself off as Donald Trump or something. Are you OP?OnTheRun said:
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
LiveFreeX
Banned
Grow some balls, say no. You have 800 posts, why is this a thread?
KingBeef
Master Don Juan
Smells to me she's pulling a powerplay move on you for control... Talk to her and re-assure her that everythings fine and ask her indirectly whats the motive behind her asking such a request. Whatever you do, do not agree to that...Dhoulmagus said:
backseatjuan
Banned
Let's face it boys, we are not high quality guys. We want to call her 10 times a day.
You have completely missed the point.sylvester the cat said:
The key is not worrying if she's pissed off. If she has any kind of sane, genuine interest she's not going to be put off by her boyfriend having his own life.Dhoulmagus said:
If she calls ignore it. When she texts you about it just say "what's up? I'm a bit busy at the moment."
Personally I would advise that you get into the habit of having lots of plans anyway so that it's not stretching the truth. But make sure when she calls you're doing something you want to do. That can be practicing an instrument, playing video games or whatever. Your time is yours by default, not hers.
Don't apologise for it. A simple what's up and making sure everything is OK is enough. If she then calls you reiterate you're busy by text. You speaking to her on the phone is a treat, not the baseline. Have the times you do call be a treat rather than the times you don't be a problem because "it's weird that he hasn't called because he always calls".
Suppose you're with this girl for 2 years. Imagine speaking to the same person on the phone every day for 2 years. That's not healthy.
Ok here's what do you.
First, you're going to need to get in the habit of charging your phone to FULL EVERY night. You want to be prepared when she calls. Talking drains the battery quickly. Don't be that guy that disconnects 3 hours into to the call because his cell was only at 40% :nono:
Second, get an external backup charger for your phone. Better yet get two. You never know when you're gonna have a 12+ hour phone call with your GF. I recommend two so you can charge one while you use the other to keep talking. I've done several multi-day calls using this strat. Total life saver! Still no sex yet, but I feel it coming. Imagine where I'd be if I DIDN'T talk to her every day for 7 hours?? She probably wouldn't even hold my hand hehuhuhehueh
Third, take very good notes while on the phone. Treat it as though you're studying for a class and there could be a pop quiz any moment. My "cheat sheet" as I call it has saved my ass so many times. She's been disgusted... err, amazed at my ability to recall in exact detail what she's said. I sometimes correct her because even she forgot what she said hours ago.
Fourth... bluetooth or blueballs, as I say. You gotta be bluetooth compatible man! Whether it's walking around or driving in car, you need to be able to talk to your GF seemlessly. All it takes is one, "Sorry love can I put you on hold for a second the firefighters are trying to get the door open" and THAT my friend could ruin your chances of her touching you one day.
Fifth, download some scheduling software so you can more efficiently arrange her day and schedule things for her. When she calls asking what is lined up you need to be on top of it. Her doctor's appointment got bumped up a day? Update her schedule and notify her pronto. Do NOT call her though, it can be inconvenient for her to answer the phone. I always send a text message notification about updates to her schedule.
Sixth, do NOT talk over her. Number one way for her to call even less. If you have something to say, be as succinct as possible and only say it if there's a pause in her monologue.
Seventh, never under any circumstance end the call without thanking her and telling her how much you appreciate her time. For example, today as soon as she stopped talking I could sense the call was over, so I quickly said "Well, thank you so much for calling I love you more than anything and if you look outside your door you'll see a special delivery of" before she hung up. See what I did there? I ordered chocolates and flowers to her door AHEAD of time, just to tell her at the end of the phone call to surprise her. I bet she'll call back again later today now. Winning.
Eighth, quit your job. Avoid going outside in general. You need to be more available to talk to her on the phone. When she's not calling try to use that time to sleep and "recharge"
But don't get too comfortable, because she may call at any moment. Keep the phone by the bed or better yet strapped to your body. I recommend an arm strap. I rarely let it ring more than once. It takes practice.
Nineth, don't be afraid to take out a loan if you need more cash to pay your phone bill or fund misc costs like software to manage her schedule, surprise chocolates, or her phone bill. Have a garage sale and get rid of anything that doesn't directly support your calls with her. Since you no longer need to go anywhere, selling the car is a good way to get some extra cash.
Tenth, look around the corner of the street you sleep on for any spare items you can sell. Do you really need that box to sleep in? Let's be honest concrete is really not much more uncomfortable than cardboard. That shopping cart can probably be pawned off for a few dollars too.
Eleventh, never give up. By this point you're homeless living on the corner of the street with nothing but a phone and some backup chargers you occasionally charge at the Kinko's down the street whenever the manager isn't around. You can make a surprising amount of money by selling blood. Think outside your box... which you sold.
Twelfth, don't hold out on her. Just because you're dying of starvation doesn't mean you can't utilize your last remaining energy to listen to her talk. It takes almost no energy to listen, don't be selfish.
Thirteenth, some time before you die passed out on the side of the freeway all alone make sure you set up an appropriate voicemail message. When she calls she'll need to know you're dead and who to call next. I recommend something like, "Hi sorry I can't answer the phone right now because I'm dead, but you can call my bro Jake he's at 995-3471. Also, if you look outside your door you'll see a lovely delivery of..."
First, you're going to need to get in the habit of charging your phone to FULL EVERY night. You want to be prepared when she calls. Talking drains the battery quickly. Don't be that guy that disconnects 3 hours into to the call because his cell was only at 40% :nono:
Second, get an external backup charger for your phone. Better yet get two. You never know when you're gonna have a 12+ hour phone call with your GF. I recommend two so you can charge one while you use the other to keep talking. I've done several multi-day calls using this strat. Total life saver! Still no sex yet, but I feel it coming. Imagine where I'd be if I DIDN'T talk to her every day for 7 hours?? She probably wouldn't even hold my hand hehuhuhehueh
Third, take very good notes while on the phone. Treat it as though you're studying for a class and there could be a pop quiz any moment. My "cheat sheet" as I call it has saved my ass so many times. She's been disgusted... err, amazed at my ability to recall in exact detail what she's said. I sometimes correct her because even she forgot what she said hours ago.
Fourth... bluetooth or blueballs, as I say. You gotta be bluetooth compatible man! Whether it's walking around or driving in car, you need to be able to talk to your GF seemlessly. All it takes is one, "Sorry love can I put you on hold for a second the firefighters are trying to get the door open" and THAT my friend could ruin your chances of her touching you one day.
Fifth, download some scheduling software so you can more efficiently arrange her day and schedule things for her. When she calls asking what is lined up you need to be on top of it. Her doctor's appointment got bumped up a day? Update her schedule and notify her pronto. Do NOT call her though, it can be inconvenient for her to answer the phone. I always send a text message notification about updates to her schedule.
Sixth, do NOT talk over her. Number one way for her to call even less. If you have something to say, be as succinct as possible and only say it if there's a pause in her monologue.
Seventh, never under any circumstance end the call without thanking her and telling her how much you appreciate her time. For example, today as soon as she stopped talking I could sense the call was over, so I quickly said "Well, thank you so much for calling I love you more than anything and if you look outside your door you'll see a special delivery of" before she hung up. See what I did there? I ordered chocolates and flowers to her door AHEAD of time, just to tell her at the end of the phone call to surprise her. I bet she'll call back again later today now. Winning.
Eighth, quit your job. Avoid going outside in general. You need to be more available to talk to her on the phone. When she's not calling try to use that time to sleep and "recharge"
But don't get too comfortable, because she may call at any moment. Keep the phone by the bed or better yet strapped to your body. I recommend an arm strap. I rarely let it ring more than once. It takes practice. Nineth, don't be afraid to take out a loan if you need more cash to pay your phone bill or fund misc costs like software to manage her schedule, surprise chocolates, or her phone bill. Have a garage sale and get rid of anything that doesn't directly support your calls with her. Since you no longer need to go anywhere, selling the car is a good way to get some extra cash.
Tenth, look around the corner of the street you sleep on for any spare items you can sell. Do you really need that box to sleep in? Let's be honest concrete is really not much more uncomfortable than cardboard. That shopping cart can probably be pawned off for a few dollars too.
Eleventh, never give up. By this point you're homeless living on the corner of the street with nothing but a phone and some backup chargers you occasionally charge at the Kinko's down the street whenever the manager isn't around. You can make a surprising amount of money by selling blood. Think outside your box... which you sold.
Twelfth, don't hold out on her. Just because you're dying of starvation doesn't mean you can't utilize your last remaining energy to listen to her talk. It takes almost no energy to listen, don't be selfish.
Thirteenth, some time before you die passed out on the side of the freeway all alone make sure you set up an appropriate voicemail message. When she calls she'll need to know you're dead and who to call next. I recommend something like, "Hi sorry I can't answer the phone right now because I'm dead, but you can call my bro Jake he's at 995-3471. Also, if you look outside your door you'll see a lovely delivery of..."
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
B
BlueAlpha1
Guest
I cannot say enough about maintaining an Alpha frame in a relationship. I don't spend a ton of time chasing women, as I've really only had 3 girlfriend types since I got out of college 4 years ago. I'm far more interested in travel and financial prosperity.
But the last girl I was involved with went on for about 6 months. This girl was weird to begin with, but totally into me from day one. The entire "relationship" was her feverishly pining for more attention from me - usually falling on deaf ears. They can only take this for so long though. Finally after half a year of this, she invented some ****amamie story as a jealousy ploy about spending Thanksgiving with an old "friend" who attempted to rape her or some variation of this.
I have no doubt in my mind she fabricated the entire thing. I told her in terms she would understand that her shyt test did not work, and was an unforgivable breach of respect. I dumped her on the spot and changed my number. This was the ultimate DHV and I never felt more alpha.
Be that as it may, you have to pepper your relationship with moments of beta vulnerability. 80-20 or 85-15 Alpha is a good guideline to follow. Call her once every two weeks, and never when she's expecting it. Be spontaneous and then go ghost. I could have toyed with this girl forever. Instead I just scarred her heart for life.
But the last girl I was involved with went on for about 6 months. This girl was weird to begin with, but totally into me from day one. The entire "relationship" was her feverishly pining for more attention from me - usually falling on deaf ears. They can only take this for so long though. Finally after half a year of this, she invented some ****amamie story as a jealousy ploy about spending Thanksgiving with an old "friend" who attempted to rape her or some variation of this.
I have no doubt in my mind she fabricated the entire thing. I told her in terms she would understand that her shyt test did not work, and was an unforgivable breach of respect. I dumped her on the spot and changed my number. This was the ultimate DHV and I never felt more alpha.
Be that as it may, you have to pepper your relationship with moments of beta vulnerability. 80-20 or 85-15 Alpha is a good guideline to follow. Call her once every two weeks, and never when she's expecting it. Be spontaneous and then go ghost. I could have toyed with this girl forever. Instead I just scarred her heart for life.