My GF Revealed She is Insecure

[AJ84]

oh? and not all woman are insecure? sure there is some men who are, but i'm sure its make a annoying trait for him, no?



then date men? all woman are insecure, and like was said before the hotter and younger she is more insecure she is, also I really don't get the whole strong personality thing, most woman with "strong personality" are just a hag who is unpolite when talking with people.

now the whole bringing you together I wouldn't put much stock on it, woman are very well know to ignore the past and just goes with her current emotinal state, I would consider this whole issue just her being insecure and trying to keep you since she was thinking you would leave her, with make you have the whole power dynamic of the relationship, and even more interesting is, every time a guy get this, he tend to give it back to the woman, trying to confort her and saying its not the case

I don’t know all women, so I can’t say that all women are insecure. I don’t endorse nor believe blanket statements about all people are this or that trait because 99.9% of those claims have no statistical or logical basis in my opinion. I mean if a field researcher studied a group of people then claimed that all people had xzy traits that he or she witnessed in the field research, good luck getting that paper published lol.

But I would say that more women than men are insecure about things like their appearance. And I would also say that women are more likely to judge other women in a negative way.

It’s how people handle insecurities that counts. Some people attempt to do something about them and just get on with it, some people whine and do nothing and some people use it to manipulate others and so forth.

 

[jaymbrs]

Not defending myself, just pointing out that there are other reasons for her insecurity, other then the fact that she’s a female, and that many people, including males, have Insecurities.

She flat out told you that someone in her family put her down. To ignore that and just move to the notion that all females are insecure because this one female told you she is insecure plus gave context that you are ignoring is a little strange to me. You say you like dating confident women yet you say the theory that all women are insecure is true, so one cancels out the other and that’s a bit strange too.

But if this bothers you as you state it does, and I can understand why it would, then move on and date women who have more the traits that you like. Don’t waste your time and affection on someone who annoys you.

I'm sure you're aware there are levels of insecurity. You don't know the level of insecurity my GF has displayed. My point was even though she fit the description of what I find attractive in a woman, the fact she is still insecure to a degree I'm not comfortable with, is something I thought was worth sharing. It's a realization that we all must have that (and I'll say it this way so you're comfortable) "people" aren't always what they display on a superficial level, good or bad.

 

[devilkingx2]

I think being insecure and insecurities are very different things. Almost everyone who isn't Brad Pitt, a shaolin monk or a narcissist will have some insecurities

But being insecure overall is another thing. It's the difference between not having big t!ts and thinking that because your ""small"" D's aren't DDD that invalidates everything else about you and makes you a soft 6.

The manifestation of these traits is what matters in my opinion, there's a lot of ways to be insecure, some of them are beneficial to you and some of them are annoying as hell. (But as far as I'm concerned, a hot girl with a lot of confidence is probably the last thing you'd want)

 

[sazc]

Not defending myself, just pointing out that there are other reasons for her insecurity, other then the fact that she’s a female, and that many people, including males, have Insecurities.

She flat out told you that someone in her family put her down. To ignore that and just move to the notion that all females are insecure because this one female told you she is insecure plus gave context that you are ignoring is a little strange to me. You say you like dating confident women yet you say the theory that all women are insecure is true, so one cancels out the other and that’s a bit strange too.

But if this bothers you as you state it does, and I can understand why it would, then move on and date women who have more the traits that you like. Don’t waste your time and affection on someone who annoys you.

Well, and to take this one step further, her father created this insecurity in her which indicates that it is actually an insecurity that HE holds, and he believed he could nag her to keep it happening with her.

So, really, it's a MALE (her father) that is the original insecure one.

 

[sazc]

@jaymbrs I get where you are coming from. You're a lot like me, I don't want to acknowledge and deal with your baggage, I want YOU to acknowledge and deal with your baggage so that you grow as a human being independently of me. (That's what NOT being co dependent is about)

May I suggest that, whenever someone shares with you on this level, you consider replying "ah, wow, so what are you doing about that then?"

I'mma be honest with you, this particular approach isn't going to attract lots of people. As we all know, most people would rather be victims, bathing in their "woe is me" soup pot.

However, at least if you ask that question, the answer will reveal if you are dealing with a forward thinking self propelling individual that is striving to evolve PAST the model of their upbringing. These ppl are rare, but they tend to do their best to acknowledge and deal with their crap

Good luck

 

[AJ84]

I think being insecure and insecurities are very different things. Almost everyone who isn't Brad Pitt, a shaolin monk or a narcissist will have some insecurities

But being insecure overall is another thing. It's the difference between not having big t!ts and thinking that because your ""small"" D's aren't DDD that invalidates everything else about you and makes you a soft 6.

The manifestation of these traits is what matters in my opinion, there's a lot of ways to be insecure, some of them are beneficial to you and some of them are annoying as hell. (But as far as I'm concerned, a hot girl with a lot of confidence is probably the last thing you'd want)

You’re right, people aren’t always what they appear. It does sound like her behaviour (how she is dealing with her insecurities) is annoying, regardless of why she has them. Also, and I should of mentioned this before as I can see how it may seem like I am crapping on you for thinking less of her after she disclosed: her sharing this with you, while a good thing, doesn’t mean she can use it as justification for continuing the behaviour. All it does is explain it, she’s still accountable to dealing with her insecurities in a healthier way. If you like her enough to give her a chance to work on this then maybe there’s hope. But that’s your call to make.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I want to say in terms of all around attractiveness, my current GF is an 8. She makes over $100k, is well connected, great family values, caring and unselfish, in decent shape and physically attractive. She told me she grew up with her father making her feel like she was less than what she really is and as she got older, she would date guys who would also put her down and continued that trend. She admitted this to me because I got tired of her jealous behavior and always fishing for compliments. She would accuse me of losing interest when it couldn't be further from the truth and it created a huge argument. It's one of the bigger surprises to me to hear that this woman is insecure. All along I thought she was a very confident, strong, successful woman and I have to admit, my attraction for her has declined a bit because of this admission. Anyway just wanted to share with you guys that while we say ALL women are insecure, this is definitely something that helps prove that theory.

She should be insecure. Dread game ftw!

Hotter girls are turning 18 everyday.

Her insecurity shouldn't dismiss her behaviour or bringing up unnecessary fights. She should be on sandwich duty, feminine, submissive, dtf, and being a pleasure to be with.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

This is not uncommon. Especially for mothers to do it as well. Mothers can be pretty hard core on their daughters.
This is pretty easy to massage for a good connection. She wants you to remove her competition anxiety but that is a fatal error.

Just being masculine will keep it in homeostasis.

#money ^

 

[jaymbrs]

@jaymbrs I get where you are coming from. You're a lot like me, I don't want to acknowledge and deal with your baggage, I want YOU to acknowledge and deal with your baggage so that you grow as a human being independently of me. (That's what NOT being co dependent is about)

May I suggest that, whenever someone shares with you on this level, you consider replying "ah, wow, so what are you doing about that then?"

I'mma be honest with you, this particular approach isn't going to attract lots of people. As we all know, most people would rather be victims, bathing in their "woe is me" soup pot.

However, at least if you ask that question, the answer will reveal if you are dealing with a forward thinking self propelling individual that is striving to evolve PAST the model of their upbringing. These ppl are rare, but they tend to do their best to acknowledge and deal with their crap

Good luck

Absolutely.

Might be a little too late for this. Maybe the next one.

 

[sazc]

Absolutely.

Might be a little too late for this. Maybe the next one.

Life is supposed to be about learning, growth and evolution, eh?

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

i am insecure 3 days before my period and the first day of. I am secure as heck the day it ends until 3 days after ovulation.

It’s so easy guys, c’mon. We aren’t complicated! It’s biology. Look for patterns.

 

[sazc]

i am insecure 3 days before my period and the first day of. I am secure as heck the day it ends until 3 days after ovulation.

It’s so easy guys, c’mon. We aren’t complicated! It’s biology. Look for patterns.

Yep, I'm definitely anxious (not insecure) for a few days leading up to my period

 

[flowtheory]

People are insecure because of comparison.

The mention of Brad Pitt in this thread has come up and continues to around the board, denoting him as the epitome of security and an ideal to strive for: False. He’s had fillers, hair restoration, skin rejuvenation, and ear pinning; this is just the few I know of.

It’s a biological imperative for all to conquer; in a benevolent or malevolent manner. Insecurity is really just a spawn of our own lacking: a reason to build and become better; the hole which needs to be filled.
Erroneously, people seek for validation outside of themselves so they can be buttressed by a mirage coming from persons or things. And the cycle continues because the problem at the fountainhead is still left unsolved. If only we were educated in self-fortification and emotional understanding.

Insecurity runs ramped among the weak because they’ve been taught to evaluate their self worth based on the competing demographic. It keeps you small. Makes you a micro cog in the system of consumerism move.

The only way to fight the power of insecurity is look within. No product, person, or projection is going to make a person feel whole. And whole is the end goal in life. We will only ever be whole in death, because that is when our life is complete; the story stops there, that we know of. Until then it’s just about erradicating sour beliefs about oneself and moving in to the discomfort then on to the next. There’s always a next. Next. Next. No amount of anything will ever be enough. This is the lie. This is the suffering. To think it will ever be enough. Only the moment is enough. And this is the only time you truly have power.

There’s blame in this thread about females and males. Pointing fingers. This is what keeps us stuck. When you point a finger at someone, always remember you’re pointing three right back at you.

What you see in the world is what you see in yourself.

 

[SeekerOfTheWay]

Comparison is the thief of joy.

 

[devilkingx2]

Comparison is the thief of joy.

"Take my advice kid, No amount of money and power will ever be enough" - Genie (Will Smith)

 

[Alvafe]

I don’t know all women, so I can’t say that all women are insecure. I don’t endorse nor believe blanket statements about all people are this or that trait because 99.9% of those claims have no statistical or logical basis in my opinion. I mean if a field researcher studied a group of people then claimed that all people had xzy traits that he or she witnessed in the field research, good luck getting that paper published lol.

But I would say that more women than men are insecure about things like their appearance. And I would also say that women are more likely to judge other women in a negative way.

It’s how people handle insecurities that counts. Some people attempt to do something about them and just get on with it, some people whine and do nothing and some people use it to manipulate others and so forth.

you follow a patern of dealing with people, till they can prove they are diferent, and yes I work on the ground all woman are insecure, some just hide it better, and you know only thing I can read here is you saying you are not like most woman

"Take my advice kid, No amount of money and power will ever be enough" - Genie (Will Smith)

that is because we as people are greed by nature don't matter what we have we want more, that don't mean its a bad thing

 

[marmel75]

All women are insecure...this should not come as a shocker

 

[jaymbrs]

All women are insecure...this should not come as a shocker

Careful. @AJ84 will have something to say about that.

 

[AJ84]

Careful. @AJ84 will have something to say about that.

Hahaha I said all I have to say on that matter.

 

[Igetit!]

Op,if you don't mind my asking.....I was just wondering how long you and your girlfriend have been dating and seeing each other.