My gf kept pics of her ex.

[Ragin_Asian]

We have been going out for about 10 months. Before we were together she was going out with this guy but broke up cos I start to come on to the scene.

Sometimes I see pics of him on her desk or computer and I said "Look there is only one room for one guy either me or him" and she said sorry I will get rid of them.

But then I find a few and there's more and more appearing. Whenever I say "Hey, where are those pics we took the other day...." and then BANG I come across some of her ex on her laptop. So I get a little mad about them even though she never spoke of him etc. I got a rid of my ex's pics why can't she.

I am annoyed when people say it is perfectly fine that people keep pics of their ex even though in a relationship. And that you are bein insecure or immature if you get mad at it. And they say that you are being stupid because she is with you and not her ex etc.

Now we have had fights over it a few times. But she says I wont find any....but one day she told me she gathered them all up and took it with when she went back overseas to see her family just to throw them out? WTF! She said she did it to make sure that she had gotten rid of them once and for all. That is bullsh*t to expect me to belive that! She shouldve have gotten rid of them immediately.

Now I find it hard to trust and believe her when she says things. I feel resentment because even if it is just little material things... I can't stop to think that she still has feelings for him even though she denies it. Why did she have to carry them halfway around? There must be a reason for it!

 

[MacAvoy]

She keeps them around to remind her of what a good fvck he is and what she's missing! However if you don't change your attitude, THIS is going to be you soon.

 

[Ragin_Asian]

What do you suggest I do? Do you think I should break up with her? Or just have a quick word about it to her. I know getting angry wont change things.

How do stop this situation from getting worst or should I just move on after the progress we have had together.

 

[comic_relief]

Chill out, my girlfriend has pics of her and her ex-boyfriend up. I usually tease her about it or start to talk about it.

Actually my girlfriend said that she was thinking about taking them down and I said, "NO! Don't do that! I like that picture of you and [ex] up." She took them down off the shelf.

Do I get insecure about the pictures? Every once and a while, but I realize that she is with me and not him for a reason.

comic_relief

 

[MacAvoy]

Honestly I think you should break up with her. Not because she has pics, I've still got picks of my ex's around. I think you should break up with her because you have no future with her because of your attitude.

You need to work on your jealousy issues. However she shouldn't have them out in public. The minute you seen one, you should have walked away. If she needs to keep them in public to constantly remind her, then she's not over him.

You have to make her miss you, or risk losing you. Simply telling her to take them down accomplishes nothing, women will respond to actions, you have to act, the best way to get across your message is to not put up with BS by walking away.

 

[Ragin_Asian]

**** and I thought throwing away pics of me and my hot ex's accomplished fair assumption that she won't do the same to me. Damn it haha I shouldv'e kept them. Fukc I had the best collection too!

 

[Ragin_Asian]

Walking away as in nexting her? After nearly a year of it going great?

 

[comic_relief]

**** and I thought throwing away pics of me and my hot ex's accomplished fair assumption that she won't do the same to me. Damn it haha I shouldv'e kept them. Fukc I had the best collection too!

Most of her pictures that she had up was of big events such as prom, semi-formals, and one that was of him holding her (she forgot about that one entirely).

Like MacAvoy said, my girlfriend does keep the majority of them in a photo album that she has of everyone (him included).

comic_relief

 

[Ragin_Asian]

I see...what if she said she has got rid of those pictures and then you find out she had them for another 4 months after the initial discussion? Is that a red flag?

 

[Ragin_Asian]

What could I do to make her miss me...do I walk out completely or just take off temporarily until she comes back chasing?

 

[MacAvoy]

You should run as fast as you can in the other direction and never look back.

 

[Ragin_Asian]

Really? So break up with her and never look back because of those pics? I have always read that keeping pics of ex is a big no no...so I just reacted to that principle. Wouldnt that be too late for her to turn around or counter-productive to what I was trying to achieve?

I didnt think keeping pics was this serious of a red flag. I jsut thought I could do something to maintain this relationship....other people's relationships just make me cringe so bad.

 

[Ragin_Asian]

is this a bad thing on her behalf or is it because of my attitude and insecurity towards it.

 

[Ragin_Asian]

In other words...mirror what I think she is doing.

I was a little naive that if I become committed wholly to her then she is capable of doing the same thing....so if she is dabbling with other people then so should I.

But then I know for sure that she hasn't touched anybody so I wont touch any girl but flirt and Dj like crazy

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

OK, 2 things. First, it's one thing if she keeps old pics of an ex in an album or a shoe box in the closet. It's quite another if she's got (more than one?) them on display for friends to see and ask about. Unless she's got a picture of herself, the ex and Elvis all together she's got them up to remind her of him. This is good news and bad news. Bad news: she's got buyer's remorse with you. If you moved in on her and she dumped him for you, the likelihood is she's pinning for the old BF. The good news is, she's been so obvious about it you don't need to know much more and you can plan accordingly.

Second, what do you do? Nothing. The more of an issue you make it, the faster she'll move back to getting with him again, because you'll be giving her a reason to say you're insecure. She wants you to cry about it, it'll only make her going back easier or at least more justifiable. Say nothing. Don't go putting up pics of your ex or pics of some bikini babes to spite her, you only give her more reason to excuse herself.

Either way, you ARE done with her. Don't keep looking for confirmation of this. Don't go crying "If you really loved me I'd be the one up on your laptop, waaaaaghh." She knows that, in fact that's your confirmation right there. Start spinning plates NOW, and don't consider another GF until you're 28.

 

[steve12b]

Why insist on dating a girl who forgets about her exes? To me, that simply speaks that she is able to easily loose interest in someone. Also, isn't it unreasonable to assume that one can "get over" someone else? Attraction is based on unconcious chemistry, there will be attraction forever regardless of whether there is a desire strong enough to be acted on, or to override logic. I'm sure that if my gf dumps me in some horrible way I will still be attracted to her at least physically. Doesn't mean I'd ever speak to her again...

As it stands, my gf has plenty of photo albums and love letters from her ex, I told her that when she moves in with me she should bring all that stuff with her. She doesn't need to prove her interest by making self sacrifices.

 

[Master Bates]

If she's got pics of her exes framed around her room, that's one thing. But if you're just finding pictures in drawers and whatnot, just let it me. You can't expect people to burn mementos of their past. It's selfish, unrealistic, and shows insecurity.

 

[DoctorLW]

My gf has framed pictures of her exes and friends all over her place. Who gives a fvck. They are exes. If they were good times, why is it wrong to let them remember?