"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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My GF is p1ssed off, depressed, I dont know???

MattS

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Pardon my typing but its late right now and Im tired. Ive been with my GF for 3 years total. We live together. Weve lived together for almost 2 years total. In general shes always p1ssed off or depressed during the work week espically. Then the weekened comes shes fine and ready to party. Shes depressed cause shes been on meds, highly irritable, anxiety, etc. No sex drive. We fvck once a week on the weekened. We havent fvcked in like 2-3 weeks.

Recently she went home to hawaii for 10 days. We talked maybe like 4-5 times. Then since she has been home I feel some tension or shes just p1ssed about work. I cant really read it that well. But everytime she goes home or on vacay without me she comes back being weird. One time she went home and came back and she was like we gotta end it. Like out of the blue. Then she came back from vacay with her parents and we didnt talk for 3 days cause she turned her phone off. Now shes just weird I sense shes unsure about things with us for some reason. Her paretns just influence her. Theyve never met me. They dont know my upbringing etc. Girls like my gf are always the victim regardless and i think she paints that to them by saying shes not happy because of me and not working and needs this and that.

Her parents are very controlling of her and she always wants to give them the affect that shes perfect. Just like every ch1ck soemtimes she doesnt seem satisfied with me and my life. Well I got a lot going for me right now. Im only 26 get a bachelors in business marketing and finishing up a masters (dam thesis is taking forever) now. . In about 3 weeks I think im going back to get my MBA cause the job market sucks (I had a good job but couldn't take the situation overall so I left) I will start as a NON Degree seeking student because I have to wait for my other masters to get done.. I havent worked for 7 months but Im pretty much self sufficient as I have more money coming in than she does at her full time job by helping my mom out with her business. I could basically never work at a real job again if I wanted to. She always makes little comments..."did you get a job? blah balh. Why the fvck would I get a job espically a bs job because of the job market and make the same if im lucky if not less working part time?? Literally with everything coming in i have about 3500-4000 a month coming through my bank account not working everyday and not answering to noone except my mom. Thats more than a lot of people.

You know I am spoiled ive been spoiled my whole life and my parents have helped me out and her friends are always like yea hes a trust fund baby (which Im not) my parents just make a decent chunk of change. But she cant say sh1t cause she still hits up her paretns for money. But with what im doing now for my mom thats basically all me.

With what Im doing right now for my mom its pretty steady and I will be able to put myself through school with minumum student loans and have the flexibility I need because I hear MBA school is no cake walk. I know shes like oh this guy has no job yadda yadda he sits at home all day working for mommy and makes super easy money (some of that sh1t goes to her like just dropping 400 for her plane ticket to see her parents for some wedding in a couple of weeks.

Seems like she is never pleased. She would tell me how her exs were losers (i know for a fact some dude just had some bs degree and became a rafting instructor and some other dude cheated to just get his GED and never went to college and some other dude who didnt go to college.) I think shes throwing me in their category and her parents are probalby like yea leave that loser. Im well educated, great family background, very healty and in shape, have nice things, and a lot of friends and have opportunities. Guess if she cant handle it gtfo.

Seriously Im only 26 shes 28 at all my jobs Ive had ive made more than she has ever before. Plus now. I guess I can see her hating on me cause shes working long hours and feels like shes going nowhere making no money right now while Im sitting at home and making more money than her. But you know what pretty soon I will 2 masters and will have big opportunities. I support sometimes cause she literally has no money to buy grocerys cause she has a lot of bills.

Honestly if she doesnt change her attitude by this weekened im going to say something cause I havent yet I just let her be. I think she feels entitled or wants some dude whose sitting at a desk all day pulling up 35-40k guranteed and shell feel safe and secure and that guy will be a winner and a keeper. Come on now.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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jafyk

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Well, this is gonna hurt. Break up with her on ur own terms (gives you the upper hand and makes u feel better about the situation) but it's the best thing for you to do. I galnced through ur long post. In any case you don't seem happy with the relationship and she doesn't seem happy as well. Your best is no longer enough for her... There are better girls out there. Take a break get on sosuave learn stuff, re-evaluate and date again.
 

KontrollerX

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Time to next her and move on to someone else.

You are a successful man whose got his sh!t together.

Now go find a girl thats on your level in that regard.

This relationship has become a lemon.

The girl you are with now is a depressed basket case whose blue balling you, insulting you and I wouldn't be surprised if she's cheating on you and using the parents as a cover story about that.

Don't let her drag you down any farther, mood states are contagious just like a real disease.

Stay away from depressed people who talk down on you.

Ditch the b!tch and move on to a new fish. :up:
 

decades

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Well I can see you are just venting here and not ready to make a change. You've broken some DJ rules by moving in with a girl before marrying her. So the AFC in you developed a major oneitis with some messed up older chick and you're paying her bills and buying her plane tickets. You clearly have some of your own issues about supporting yourself and breaking away from "mommy". Now you're threatening to have a "talk" with her. That ought to show her who's boss!

Look, you're 26 man and you locked yourself into a quasi marriage. you've tied yourself down to an older sour depressed woman. Yet, you don't see the possibilites outside this relationship for yourself. Open your eyes. Make the tough decision and start improving things now.
 
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"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Scaramouche

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Dear Matt,
Gosh how have you let things slide like this?this is a deplorable situation,three years into a relationship and a young Girl like this can't get her act together for svx,Its over mate!...First things first,get some expert advice,then make the preemptive strike,there are so many things to consider when you break up in a de facto relationship...biggest will probably be the lease on your premises,maybe best left till renewal time,the next will be jointly owned property...Next time she talks about breaking up,agree with her and ask her how she wants to manage the shared aspects of the relationship.
 

squirrels

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Guess if she cant handle it gtfo.
This is the most intelligent thing you've said in this thread. It's really that simple.

Honestly if she doesnt change her attitude by this weekened im going to say something cause I havent yet I just let her be. I think she feels entitled or wants some dude whose sitting at a desk all day pulling up 35-40k guranteed and shell feel safe and secure and that guy will be a winner and a keeper. Come on now.
This rejection's...got me so low.
She keeps it up, I just might tell her so!


Dude, you have a psychotic, medicated, depressed, b!tchy, demanding, financially retarded, overparented c*nt for a girlfriend...who's probably cheating on you, since she goes on vacations without you and when she comes back she doesn't even want to TALK to you.

And her parents are probably ENCOURAGING her cheating. They probably hate on you because you have money and they don't...even though you're a silver-spoon kid, you've held jobs and are going to school for an MBA, so it's not like you're Billy Madison sitting in the pool waiting for Nudie Magazine Day.

What, exactly, do you see in this girl???
 

Andy_Dufresne

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MattS said:
Seems like she is never pleased. She would tell me how her exs were losers (i know for a fact some dude just had some bs degree and became a rafting instructor and some other dude cheated to just get his GED and never went to college and some other dude who didnt go to college.) I think shes throwing me in their category and her parents are probalby like yea leave that loser. Im well educated, great family background, very healty and in shape, have nice things, and a lot of friends and have opportunities. Guess if she cant handle it gtfo.
Been there, done that.

Trust me when I tell you this.

Don't walk.

Run.

Now.
 

jonwon

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MattS said:
Pardon my typing but its late right now and Im tired. Ive been with my GF for 3 years total. We live together. Weve lived together for almost 2 years total. In general shes always p1ssed off or depressed during the work week espically. Then the weekened comes shes fine and ready to party. Shes depressed cause shes been on meds, highly irritable, anxiety, etc. No sex drive. We fvck once a week on the weekened. We havent fvcked in like 2-3 weeks.

Recently she went home to hawaii for 10 days. We talked maybe like 4-5 times. Then since she has been home I feel some tension or shes just p1ssed about work. I cant really read it that well. But everytime she goes home or on vacay without me she comes back being weird. One time she went home and came back and she was like we gotta end it. Like out of the blue. Then she came back from vacay with her parents and we didnt talk for 3 days cause she turned her phone off. Now shes just weird I sense shes unsure about things with us for some reason. Her paretns just influence her. Theyve never met me. They dont know my upbringing etc. Girls like my gf are always the victim regardless and i think she paints that to them by saying shes not happy because of me and not working and needs this and that.

Her parents are very controlling of her and she always wants to give them the affect that shes perfect. Just like every ch1ck soemtimes she doesnt seem satisfied with me and my life. Well I got a lot going for me right now. Im only 26 get a bachelors in business marketing and finishing up a masters (dam thesis is taking forever) now. . In about 3 weeks I think im going back to get my MBA cause the job market sucks (I had a good job but couldn't take the situation overall so I left) I will start as a NON Degree seeking student because I have to wait for my other masters to get done.. I havent worked for 7 months but Im pretty much self sufficient as I have more money coming in than she does at her full time job by helping my mom out with her business. I could basically never work at a real job again if I wanted to. She always makes little comments..."did you get a job? blah balh. Why the fvck would I get a job espically a bs job because of the job market and make the same if im lucky if not less working part time?? Literally with everything coming in i have about 3500-4000 a month coming through my bank account not working everyday and not answering to noone except my mom. Thats more than a lot of people.

You know I am spoiled ive been spoiled my whole life and my parents have helped me out and her friends are always like yea hes a trust fund baby (which Im not) my parents just make a decent chunk of change. But she cant say sh1t cause she still hits up her paretns for money. But with what im doing now for my mom thats basically all me.

With what Im doing right now for my mom its pretty steady and I will be able to put myself through school with minumum student loans and have the flexibility I need because I hear MBA school is no cake walk. I know shes like oh this guy has no job yadda yadda he sits at home all day working for mommy and makes super easy money (some of that sh1t goes to her like just dropping 400 for her plane ticket to see her parents for some wedding in a couple of weeks.

Seems like she is never pleased. She would tell me how her exs were losers (i know for a fact some dude just had some bs degree and became a rafting instructor and some other dude cheated to just get his GED and never went to college and some other dude who didnt go to college.) I think shes throwing me in their category and her parents are probalby like yea leave that loser. Im well educated, great family background, very healty and in shape, have nice things, and a lot of friends and have opportunities. Guess if she cant handle it gtfo.

Seriously Im only 26 shes 28 at all my jobs Ive had ive made more than she has ever before. Plus now. I guess I can see her hating on me cause shes working long hours and feels like shes going nowhere making no money right now while Im sitting at home and making more money than her. But you know what pretty soon I will 2 masters and will have big opportunities. I support sometimes cause she literally has no money to buy grocerys cause she has a lot of bills.

Honestly if she doesnt change her attitude by this weekened im going to say something cause I havent yet I just let her be. I think she feels entitled or wants some dude whose sitting at a desk all day pulling up 35-40k guranteed and shell feel safe and secure and that guy will be a winner and a keeper. Come on now.
Like everyone said.

Too much drama, for what?

A wet hole, because I cant see anything else this chick is offering.

Stop thinking about her family and trying to conform to what they want.

Fuc* em!

And fuc* her too!

Say it, say it out LOUD, say it with pride and mean it from the bottom of your heart and your soul and your inner man core.

'Family want me to conform to something I am not"

"fuc* em"!

"GF talks about me, is depressed, is a head case"

Fuc* her!


Feels good dont it.

I've got a better one, move on - it will feel even better.

Get your balls back where they belong!

The GF is already slicing away and chipping away at your ball sack, her family on one nut and her on another - but they aint doing it to give you pleasure, this right here is about pain and discomfort.

Living single seems far better -

What do you see in this girl and why are you sticking around?

If she mentions her family again and how they are not 'proud of you' or that 'your not fitting into there expectations'.

Turn around to her, look her in the eye and say this "fuc* em, they either except me for what I am or not at all"!

When she replies say this "ah" - everytime she tries to object say "ah" keep repeating it, just repeat that noise whilst looking her in the eye - The conversations is over, your not concerned about her opinion.

"You ars*hole, how can you say that about my family"

As soon has she says "You"

You reply with "Ah"

She tries to finish "You Ars....

You Say "ah"


Conversations over! Even tell her that "Conversation over"!

Just keep it up, you'll feel better for it. Stand up to the bitc* thats a great place to start.
 

jophil28

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Hey Matt, let me give you something to remember about life and happiness.

AS a man, you should be getting about one third of your fun and fulfilment from your intimate relationship with her, the other two thirds from your career, friends, recreation and so on.
However, you will also find that 99% of life's misery comes from being attached to the wrong woman.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Commandante

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MattS said:
Shes depressed cause shes been on meds, highly irritable, anxiety, etc. No sex drive.
It´s a fact that women want to feel safe. Your GF is living separated from her own family, therefore you are the only one who could make her feel safe. But you don´t.

MattS said:
Just like every ch1ck sometimes she doesn´t seem satisfied with me and my life.
Because your lifestyle doesn´t make her feel safe. Did you ever asked yourself why? Maybe you have already answered this question in your post:

MattS said:
Well I got a lot going for me right now
Yeah, really? Sounds like an excuse. Lets see what that “lot” is:

MattS said:
I´m only 26 get a bachelors
I don´t want to start a “my d!ck is longer” competition but I did my bachelor at 21 and my first MSc at 23. Mommy payed, I studied. And why does it take so long for you?

MattS said:
bachelors in business marketing
No offence, but any kind of marketing is for pvssies and gays. Because is that easy. Your GF seems to know that.

MattS said:
and finishing up a masters (dam thesis is taking forever)
OK, an advice: get one already done by a looser in a foreign language, pay a couple of bucks for translation, well done!

MattS said:
about 3 weeks I think im going back to get my MBA cause the job market sucks (I had a good job but couldn't take the situation overall so I left)
You started working, but the situation overall wasn´t that good? Hey man, that´s the fvckin life! Job means that SOMETIMES you have to do things you don´t like, under circumstances you don´t like, for a money you don´t like. Anything else is a hobby. And now you are going back to your MBA? Well, fine, hide from the reality, go back to school, and be fvcked up at the age of 30 with an MBA and without real working experience. Maybe mommy will find a good job for his over-educated sonny.

MattS said:
I haven´t worked for 7 months but I´m pretty much self sufficient as I have more money coming in than she does at her full time job by helping my mom out with her business. I could basically never work at a real job again if I wanted to.
Kissing an a$$ is kissing an a$$. Doesn´t matter who this a$$ belongs to. And you may forget that in life everything has its price. Even if it´s coming from mommy.

MattS said:
But she cant say sh1t cause she still hits up her parents for money.
And you do the same. The only difference is that your mommy has more money than her family and you call it “work”. At least you learned the basic rule of marketing: it doesn´t matter what it is, the only thing matters is how do you call it!

MattS said:
I will be able to put myself through school with minimum student loans and have the flexibility I need
You will, you will, you will… and what do you do NOW?

MattS said:
I haven´t worked for 7 months
Oh, I almost forgot.

MattS said:
I hear MBA school is no cake walk.
You asked the wrong person. It´s not rocket science.

Do you see where this is heading to?
 

Bible_Belt

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As soon as she said:

One time she went home and came back and she was like we gotta end it


You should have literally pushed her out the door. Don't ever let a woman threaten to leave you without telling her to get out. And mean it.

Usually most guys will tell a poster like you to dump the girl, and I will not always agree. This time I do. She's a b!tch and you could do better, or at least she is hitting the time in her life when she wants a safe and predictable nest. Try for a younger girl next time.
 

shaunuk

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MattS said:
Seems like she is never pleased. She would tell me how her exs were losers (i know for a fact some dude just had some bs degree and became a rafting instructor and some other dude cheated to just get his GED and never went to college and some other dude who didnt go to college.) I think shes throwing me in their category and her parents are probalby like yea leave that loser. Im well educated, great family background, very healty and in shape, have nice things, and a lot of friends and have opportunities. Guess if she cant handle it gtfo.
Oh my god. Why are you sat here qualifying yourself because you've been to college and made more money than her before. How the fvck does not going to college make her ex-bf's losers? You have a very skewed view of reality if you think a college degree is essential to being a non-loser.

It's literally as simple as this: if your relationship with this girl is not working out, get out. Jesus christ.
 

women haze

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Commandante Why are you questioning the man's education and trying to 1 up him? is that the point of this topic?

What is your goal in helping him here?
 

Unbridled_Phoenix

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If you stay with this woman, it will be for the same reason that you place so much value on college degrees.

Can you guess what it is?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Commandante

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women haze said:
Commandante Why are you questioning the man's education and trying to 1 up him? is that the point of this topic?
Let me explain with the help of a short convo:

Quasimodo: Hey Commandante, I´m the guy, you know, the ringer of the Notre Dame. Can it be that I can´t get laid because of my long hair?
Me: No offence, but do you have by any chance a mirror at home?
Quasimodo: Why do you ask something like this? I can see my long hair even without a mirror…

Do you see where this is heading to?

I don´t say that “Hey Quasi, you are a fvckin´ cripple! That´s why you can´t get laid.” I say “By a mirror man and you will see you are a fvckin´ cripple and you will understand that´s why you can´t get laid!”

women haze said:
What is your goal in helping him here?
If Quasimodo seeing himself in the mirror realises that he is a cripple, maybe he goes and hits the gym or pays for plastic surgery. Problem solved.

In our case my questions are the mirror. And he is – needless to say – not a cripple but mommy´s boy. And girls like boys, but women like men. His girlfriend is high probably already a woman, I mean mentally. That´s why she isn´t satisfied with his life.

A man is somebody ho takes the opportunities. A short story for explanation:

Imagine a “cave male” with a spear in his hand. He is seeing a mammoth showing him his unprotected back. A cave MAN would say “That´s nice, now die you son of a b!tch!” And he attacks the mammoth. If he succeeds, well, his family has meat for a couple of weeks. If he doesn´t, well, he dies a good death and his family will be proud of him, even if they are starving to death. The cave male, whe says “Ahhh… dunno… this bloody mammoth stinks like hell… my spear I got from mommy is really heavy… my buddies, who have never seen a real mammoth and only know it from cave paintings say that hunting is no cake walk… I go better home and eat the reptile soup my mommy made for me anyway…” is only a cave BOY.

Do you get it? It´s not a problem if your family has money. It´s a fvckin´ opportunity you have to take and use in order to achieve YOUR goals. If you really want to have an MBA and you have the money for it… it is a cake walk. Get a bachelor, work 1-2 years (you can take an intern job without salary because mommy has enough), get a MSc, maybe working at the same time, work 3-4 in the filed you want your MBA, and at the end make the MBA. That´s it. You are about 30-35 (depending on the school system you have) and you have the world. If your family has money but you don´t want to study do something else YOU want. But making a never ending MSc and not working (on your own) at the same time is just wasting time and opportunities. Millions of guys would kill for a background like this.
 

Commandante

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Unbridled_Phoenix said:
If you stay with this woman, it will be for the same reason that you place so much value on college degrees.

Can you guess what it is?
Beta males like to be in LTRs with older alpha females. Because they are comfortable with this older woman (mommy) and younger man (her little boy)situation.

My guess is: MattS mother wants him to do something (to study), but he doesn´t really want to. He knows this situation. He doesn´t like it, but this is what he is comfortable with. That´s why he is together with an older woman (GF) who wants him to do something (to work), but he doesn´t want to. Or he would like to work but then mommy wouldn´t be satisfied with her boy.

The problem is that he has two mommys and he can´t satisfy both of them at the same time. So he is doing what his mother wants.

Am I right?
 

Jblitz59

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Dude, i've been with a gf who exhibited every one of your gf's symptoms.. depressed/ blue balling, long periods of no sex, withdrawn, threatening breakup. She is cheating on you i am 95% sure. especially in a 3 year old relationship.
 

EA Gold

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Why are you still here... GET OUT NOW!!
You deserve better then this...
We ALL deserve better women then this...

I know you invested alot in this relationship so this is what I recommend after your out...

You need to forgive her, and let it all go.
Move somewhere else or go an a vacation.
Change your phone number.
Don't ever contact her again.

and lastly

Live your life.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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