My Gf is obsessed with traveling, how do I handle this

[Stanley]

I'm the guy with massive wanderlust who's probably going to go on a spree abroad soon, but if you can't afford it you can't afford it. In my case i'm transient as possible and have aspired to bounce around for a very long time, I don't make much, but i'm smart with it and have made connections to lighten the load.

If she is really into travelling and you cannot then you should have an open conversation about it.

If this is an LTR there is nothing wrong with saying it isn't a priority to you and you have other financial goals and aspirations which take precedence. I don't like your mention of 'inferiority'. Your worth is not based upon your income, but many men nowadays place their entire self worth on this one facet of life. It isn't wrong to tell the girl you assumedly love that you would struggle to remain afloat if you travelled to the extent that she wants to, it would be the truth.

Chat with her candidly about it, express your concerns, try to come to a compromise, better understand one another and continually assess your compatibility.

 

[Pedrito0906]

Puerto Rico

That's all you need

 

[CornbreadFed]

I'm the guy with massive wanderlust who's probably going to go on a spree abroad soon, but if you can't afford it you can't afford it

We went to California, Florida, Italy/France, South Africa/Zambia all within 8 months and she is bringing up Hawaii next month, 3 national parks this summer, and a trip to Asia or New Zealand in the fall. Regardless of income, this is excessive imho.

 

[Barrister]

OP,

The others are correct you need to sit down with her and set down some boundaries here. That much traveling is expensive for most anyone not to mention time consuming. If you are trying to start up a business your clients are going to be demanding a lot of your time to make that work. She needs to understand this.

Her initial reaction is going to tell you everything you need to know. If you get a lukewarm or worse, a hostile, response to telling her this, you have problems as far as the relationship is concerned. She has more interest in traveling than she does in you. If she is understanding, agrees to pump the breaks on the traveling at least temporarily, then you can work with that and know she is serious about your relationship.

I would have the conversation sooner than later. Because if she is the former category, you are just wasting time.

 

[Stanley]

We went to California, Florida, Italy/France, South Africa/Zambia all within 8 months and she is bringing up Hawaii next month, 3 national parks this summer, and a trip to Asia or New Zealand in the fall. Regardless of income, this is excessive imho.

Oh yeah after reading that I agree man!

 

[mikedee]

We went to California, Florida, Italy/France, South Africa/Zambia all within 8 months and she is bringing up Hawaii next month, 3 national parks this summer, and a trip to Asia or New Zealand in the fall. Regardless of income, this is excessive imho.

It is.
You said she is responsible financially, I doubt it seriously. Those trips abroad are incredibly costly, and time consuming. There is something wrong with her I think, you gotta investigate and find out asap.

 

[CornbreadFed]

It is.
You said she is responsible financially, I doubt it seriously. Those trips abroad are incredibly costly, and time consuming. There is something wrong with her I think, you gotta investigate and find out asap.

She makes six figs, no kids, and has a reasonable mortgage and car note. If she wants to work to live then it is perfectly doable in her position lol.

OP,

The others are correct you need to sit down with her and set down some boundaries here. That much traveling is expensive for most anyone not to mention time consuming. If you are trying to start up a business your clients are going to be demanding a lot of your time to make that work. She needs to understand this.

Her initial reaction is going to tell you everything you need to know. If you get a lukewarm or worse, a hostile, response to telling her this, you have problems as far as the relationship is concerned. She has more interest in traveling than she does in you. If she is understanding, agrees to pump the breaks on the traveling at least temporarily, then you can work with that and know she is serious about your relationship.

I would have the conversation sooner than later. Because if she is the former category, you are just wasting time.

Yeah I am going to bring this up.

 

[mikedee]

She makes six figs, no kids, and has a reasonable mortgage and car note. If she wants to work to live then it is perfectly doable in her position lol.



Yeah I am going to bring this up.

In that case yes, she can afford it but it's still a lot of money in my opinion. Anyway how she manages her finances is none of my business.

You said you make more money than her, then those trips abroad shouldn't bother you financially, you should be able to save money. Am I missing something here?

But yes you're right, it's a excessive, and I think she's gonna get used to such a lifestyle, it's just the beginning, watch out.

 

[member160292]

We went to California, Florida, Italy/France, South Africa/Zambia all within 8 months and she is bringing up Hawaii next month, 3 national parks this summer, and a trip to Asia or New Zealand in the fall. Regardless of income, this is excessive imho.

Yo, that sound hella fun if you both have disposable income to afford it.
I’d rather explore the world at a younger age than wait when I’m older

 

[CornbreadFed]

In that case yes, she can afford it but it's still a lot of money in my opinion. Anyway how she manages her finances is none of my business.

You said you make more money than her, then those trips abroad shouldn't bother you financially, you should be able to save money. Am I missing something here?

But yes you're right, it's a excessive, and I think she's gonna get used to such a lifestyle, it's just the beginning, watch out.

She has had a stable STEM career with zero college debt vs I graduated with college debt, made 25-50k, was unemployed for a year, made 60k and finally hit six figs within this year lol. Yes I make more money as of now, but I am barebones lol. I am also in business which isn’t as stable as a STEM job.

Yo, that sound hella fun if you both have disposable income to afford it.
I’d rather explore the world at a younger age than wait when I’m older

They are fun and going on trips with people you enjoy are much better than solo trips.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

OP,

The others are correct you need to sit down with her and set down some boundaries here. That much traveling is expensive for most anyone not to mention time consuming. If you are trying to start up a business your clients are going to be demanding a lot of your time to make that work. She needs to understand this.

Her initial reaction is going to tell you everything you need to know. If you get a lukewarm or worse, a hostile, response to telling her this, you have problems as far as the relationship is concerned. She has more interest in traveling than she does in you. If she is understanding, agrees to pump the breaks on the traveling at least temporarily, then you can work with that and know she is serious about your relationship.

I would have the conversation sooner than later. Because if she is the former category, you are just wasting time.

People are going to be who they are. Trying to make someone change isn't going to work. Mismatch of life goals is a huge problem and just because OP doesn't share her goals doesn't mean there is anything wrong with her goals. Sometimes things just can't work between two people, and if they have differing life goals without the ability to compromise and both be happy with the compromise, then it simply will not work no matter how much two people want it to.