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My GF goes to visit her female friend in a time we wanted to vacation together

dustmuffin

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Yes i will do that. Tell her, that this was disrespectful and if anything like this happens again, I am gone?!


No do not warn her. She knows what she is doing is disrespectful. Just watch. Leave if nesseray. Don't get hung up on this one woman. There are thousands of other women. Spend your time on women that value you.
 

hannesmeister

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Females or males? For a sec i assumed males...
Its two females and one male. She knows them for years.

Its a "I want to celebrate my friends university graduation with my old mates" kind of thing. On the one hand i can understand it, on the other hand if i would celebrate a friends university graduation, i would have no problem taking my gf with me.

When telling her, that she excluded me from her plans she said something like "they dont even know you yet"...

I will go to another city on the weekend, where i studied and still have some contacts. H*ell even a girl i broke contact with because of my gf lives there (but she has a new guy when i look at her insta). Because of corona, there will be very little to none party going on. But maybe there will be something private.

As an outlook:
Whats the best way to get to her gf that thinks i am hot in contact, without her knowing it?
I am sure, that when i wouldt be in a relationship with her anymore, it would be no problem... Yes, thats sketchy, but my gf action also, so...
 
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mrgoodstuff

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Its two females and one male. She knows them for years.

Its a "I want to celebrate my friends university graduation with my old mates" kind of thing. On the one hand i can understand it, on the other hand if i would celebrate a friends university graduation, i would have no problem taking my gf with me.

When telling her, that she excluded me from her plans she said something like "they dont even know you yet"...

I will go to another city on the weekend, where i studied and still have some contacts. H*ell even a girl i broke contact with because of my gf lives there (but she has a new guy when i look at her insta). Because of corona, there will be very little to none party going on. But maybe there will be something private.

As an outlook:
Whats the best way to get to her gf that thinks i am hot in contact, without her knowing it?
I am sure, that when i wouldt be in a relationship with her anymore, it would be no problem... Yes, thats sketchy, but my gf action also, so...
With the male out there, that means you and her aren't that "serious" in her mind. She has fun with you like a FWB and should be able to understand. Perhaps you setup a similar trip with a babe and just lay it out there.
 

hannesmeister

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She has a history of fvcking different guys with her female friends. You said yourself they all have a history of sharing guys. This is the real reason she didn't want you to come along. You would just interfere with her "fun."
Didnt state anywhere that they have a History of sharing guys....
 

mrgoodstuff

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She has a history of fvcking different guys with her female friends. You said yourself they all have a history of sharing guys. This is the real reason she didn't want you to come along. You would just interfere with her "fun."
Did he say that her and her friends share guys? I didn't remember that very fvcking important detail.
 

Alvafe

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Its two females and one male. She knows them for years.

Its a "I want to celebrate my friends university graduation with my old mates" kind of thing. On the one hand i can understand it, on the other hand if i would celebrate a friends university graduation, i would have no problem taking my gf with me.

When telling her, that she excluded me from her plans she said something like "they dont even know you yet"...

I will go to another city on the weekend, where i studied and still have some contacts. H*ell even a girl i broke contact with because of my gf lives there (but she has a new guy when i look at her insta). Because of corona, there will be very little to none party going on. But maybe there will be something private.

As an outlook:
Whats the best way to get to her gf that thinks i am hot in contact, without her knowing it?
I am sure, that when i wouldt be in a relationship with her anymore, it would be no problem... Yes, thats sketchy, but my gf action also, so...
yes I had these, both the girls and guys did bring they GF, wife, BF, husband on these (in some even the kids). thing is meeting old friends is not teh problem, the problem is you are not even considerated, that means, or she don't belive you will stay long, or she is thinking in replacing you
 

mrgoodstuff

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yes I had these, both the girls and guys did bring they GF, wife, BF, husband on these (in some even the kids). thing is meeting old friends is not teh problem, the problem is you are not even considerated, that means, or she don't belive you will stay long, or she is thinking in replacing you
Or seeing if he will "stay in his position" and eat this shyt sandwhich. Or it's possibly a break-up. She's not serious about him, and if she is stupid enough to think that she is handling this correctly for someone she's serious about he shouldn't want her.
 

hannesmeister

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A little Update:
She is doing her Trip ATM. I am also doing a trip to another City, visiting friends. She knwos that an old plate of me lives there, thats still horny for me. She also told me that she hopes that i wont meet this other girl.... didnt contact the Plate, but had a good time Last night in a cool bar. When i didnt respond for some time she wrote something like " i was already worried, that you didnt respond" ( i didnt have cell Phone reception and didnt answer some time before). Even sent some pics of the bar (cool location) and sprinkled in a pic of our C*cktails and some nice girls feet behind these c*cktails, sitting at our table...

My subcommunication is: If you do a trip with your friends, i will have some fun on my Trip. Is this too passive aggressive and its better to go offline for a day or two while in the trip or act as if you dont care?

Ages: me 34, her 26
 
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Billtx49

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My subcommunication is: If you do a trip with your friends, i will have some fun on my Trip. Is this too passive aggressive and its better to go offline for a day or two while in the trip or act as if you dont care?
She can send you whatever texts or pics she wants, but bottomline, you only know what she tells you about what she’s doing. I would go short term NC and catch up on the details of her act later in person after her return, but you don’t owe her any details of your trip. Indirectly let her know that you kept busy and had fun…
She chose this separate scheme, and that comes with a result of not knowing with certainty how each others time was spent.
 

hannesmeister

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Little Update: Trip is over.
I had some fun on my trip. Also with another girl (only kissing). Being in a big city i also booked two "high class" escorts for the first time and my first threesome(only 2 hours for sex). And you know what: It was awesome!!! Had some hours in between meeting friend 1 and friend 2, and just went for it. Expensive, but very beautiful girls and awesome time. I dont want to use this to substitute my game, but in this moment it was just perfect. Normally I am loyal, but if a girl isnt loyal to me, i feel entitled to do my own thing...

Funny thing is, that we wrote sometimes. But she always initiated contact. I kept is passively, answering her questions and throwing back a question from time to time.

After the trip she complained, that i didnt write often. I only answered, that i was out with my guys and dont check my smartphone all the time.

Also made it clear, that in a relationship i want my girl to spend AT LEAST as many vacation days with me as she does with her friends.
Keeping the corona situation in mind (hard to get girls atm), i let it flow now, see what happens, wont invest that much anymore.
 

SgtSplacker

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A: You are not her top priority.

B: Now you are clear to do the same thing to her.

Start dating other girls man, keep her on the side.
 

evan12

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Am in a relationship for like 6 months. At the moment you cant really go to holiday because of corona.I have 10 days freetime and we wanted to do some sort of trip. Now she told me that she is going to visit her female friend in sweden. This female friend studied there and will leave sweden soon. She didnt ask me if i want to join, i thought this was because it would be a girls trip. turns out another girl comes with her and a male friend. She is friends with him for years, i dont think anything will happen with him. They are all from one friend circle.So what is my problem:

  1. That she does this in the middle of the 10 days that i have freetime from work. So nopossibility for us to really start a good trip.
  2. We made some plans before and she didnt want to do them. Like, we could go there and there and then two weeks later i hear she goes to sweden.
  3. She didnt ask me if i want to join. Fine with me, if she wants a trip to visit her female friend (girls only...). But then i hear, that two other of her friends come with her. I understand, that maybe she wants a trip with her friends circle. But nonetheless, its uncool.

I told her, that i dont have a problem with her going there, but that i really didnt like the way things went. But i didnt tell her so far why she didnt ask me if i wanted to come. Didnt want to cause drama.What do you think about this?She said, that she would like to do something with me, right when she comes back. At the moment i think about doing a trip with a friend and dont care if we still have time to do something after she comes back... Like she gives a shi* about my plans, then i wont give a sh*t about hers. I know this is toxic...
Here are some reasons :
1- she is not taking you serious enought to introduce you to her friends
2- She is planning to have some side siix so she dont want you to be there.
3- maybe she will ask for a breakup if she find a better deal than you.

What should you do ?
Prepare for breakup , play sport, get in shape, as you are going to start dating again.
 

dude99

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A little Update:
She is doing her Trip ATM. I am also doing a trip to another City, visiting friends. She knwos that an old plate of me lives there, thats still horny for me. She also told me that she hopes that i wont meet this other girl.... didnt contact the Plate, but had a good time Last night in a cool bar. When i didnt respond for some time she wrote something like " i was already worried, that you didnt respond" ( i didnt have cell Phone reception and didnt answer some time before). Even sent some pics of the bar (cool location) and sprinkled in a pic of our C*cktails and some nice girls feet behind these c*cktails, sitting at our table...

My subcommunication is: If you do a trip with your friends, i will have some fun on my Trip. Is this too passive aggressive and its better to go offline for a day or two while in the trip or act as if you dont care?

Ages: me 34, her 26
Shut your phone off and ignore her through the duration of the trip.

Ignore her for 2 weeks after you return.

After she reaches out and after 2 weeks act like nothing is out of the ordinary. If she gets mad you calmly remind her she wanted separate vacations with separate plans and she got what she asked for. She has no right at all to be upset. Make sure to stay calm when delivering this.If she stays mad dismiss her immediately. No second chances. You have an unflexable i want what i want girl and must have my way type of girl and those type deserve to be dumped.
 
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