"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
My friend's girl
- Thread starter RHCP
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Igetit!
Moderator
Dude,I'm sure glad you're not my friend. With friends like you,who needs enemies. What I don't understand is this:Are there any other girls you can date? I suppose that if this guy were your brother instead of your friend it wouldn't make any difference. I don't believe this girl is special,meaning,I don't think that the way you feel about this girl is a feeling you've never felt before,and cannot feel with another girl who's not your friend's girl friend.RHCP said:
Wow,can't even trust your own friends.
You plan on marrying this girl? No? So you're willing to toss your friend away just for hopping in bed with the girl a few times,then when it's over,both the girl and your friend will be gone.
But hey,if you think it's worth it,then have at it.
Unbridled_Phoenix
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2009
- Messages
- 677
- Reaction score
- 25
1. Are there no other girls I could be doing this with?
2. How hot and/or special is this girl REALLY? How much trouble is she worth?
3. How sustainable is my friendship with this guy?
After asking all these questions honestly, see what your answer is. Or, perhaps you have already answered them, but don't like the answer?
I recently got out of a 4 year LTR with the girl I "stole" from my best friend of high school. Situations like this bring so much passion, anger, resentment, distrust, guilt, etc. into your life and stealing your best friends' girl makes you quite the target for the disdain of others.
Plus, if you do steal her, you'll as surely as the day be sitting somewhere, sometime, wishing you had never messed with her at all after she has been "stolen" by someone else. And on top of that, you became the kind of guy who steals his best friends' girl.
Do I regret what I did? No. That would be pointless. But, if you haven't done this yet, I suggest you seriously think this one through.
I'm in a similiar situation now, but the friend is not so much a friend as a guy I know, and the girl doesn't want LTR, she wants to fvck. This one's a no brainer.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Igetit! said:
I absolutely agree with you but let me tell ya that thing.If i'm not actually sure in that the friendship of this friend is real what i do.Maybe i've always have one in my mind for him.Of course that's not an excuse but i feel very strange about all this na trust me it's not like every given girl.And maybe i think despite the possible love between them they're just a body of lies...
That is a big time AFC move. It's highly doubtful that you've fallen in love with this girl. Most likely you're infatuated with her. You're not even in a relationship with her. You don't know her intimately.
And becoming close friends doesn't necessarily mean she'd want a relationship with you. In fact, given that she is in a relationship with your friend, you're most likely very deep in the friend zone.
Friends of boyfriends are almost always friend zoned immediately since she assumes you'd be loyal to your friend. And if you're not loyal to your friend, that indicates poor character and that's an instant turn off for any decent girl.
Igetit!
Moderator
Wise decision. However,I wouldn't sit around waiting for their relationship to come to an end. Go out and live your life. Find some other girls to date. It's good if you're serious about not pursuing this girl,but you still seem to be under the impression that this is the only girl in the world,and you're waiting on your friend to get finished with her so you can have your turn. You need to get out of this kind of thinking. Even if she were single and available,if you were to approach her and try to date her with this frame of mind,she'd sense the neediness coming from you and be turned off.RHCP said:
No girl wants to be the sun in your universe.
Quit thinking that this girl,or any girl you come in contact with is "the one",and that YOU HAVE TO GET IT RIGHT,or you'll be alone.
That type of thinking will keep you single.
Maybe you're right but i quit that type of thinking a long ago...i tell you this time is different - it's not just physical attraction it is something moreIgetit! said:
i like the inner self of the girl and her personality i think she likes mine too...
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Igetit!
Moderator
Dude,you're starting to scare me. You sound like a woman. What,do you think this girl is your soulmate or something? I agree with Lexington:You don't even know this girl. You haven't been in a relationship with her,or spent extended one on one time with her. You're infatuated. This is all in your head. You shouldn't even be talking like this.RHCP said:
You say this time is different? No,no,this is ALL in your head. If you had been dating her for a while,then you said this,ok,that would at least be a little more credible. But you're on the outside looking at this girl imaging what a relationship with her would be like. Of course everything looks good now because it's all a fantasy. You get into a relationship with her,then you're really be in for a dose of reality.
Stop daydreaming dude. This girl is human. She burps and farts just like you do. This isn't a movie where all the mistakes and imperfections are edited out.
Get ahold of yourself and snap out of it.
Igetit! said:
That thing with the souls was a little wrong it's from the english
i didn't know just how to say it.And i actually know the girl from before and i had spent time with her.It's not just in my head.I'm not a stupid man.Told you once that it's not just physical attraction.Look...i know it's wrong i'll quit it but i feel there is something...And what the f*ck is that wrong.A man don't choose with who to fall in love.I'm sorry it's just the way it is.Igetit!
Moderator
I'll tell you what then:You want her? Then go get her.RHCP said:That thing with the souls was a little wrong it's from the english
FRIENDS. You are friends, and you're an AFC. You can't see it at the moment, you're trying to tell yourself you're not, but you are.RHCP said:
You aren't "in love" with her, you have "one-itis." She won't leave her boyfriend for you.
You need to get emotionally detached from her by seeing other women.
You're willing to risk your friendship with your best friend for some girl? No! You don't screw around with your best friend's girlfriend. When they break up, sure, go for it. But not while they are together. It's your best friend. Bros before hoes.
If he wasn't your friend, then I'd say go for it. But you'd have to make a move immediately. You're already in the friendzone, so you may as well get the rejection over with sooner rather than later.
You need to re-educate yourself in regards to women (read the DJ Bible, anything by either David DeAngelo or Mystery), and need to date other girls so you can see you are simply lusting after this girl.
Daddy The Pimp
Master Don Juan
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.