She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
LovelyLady said:Thought I'd share some info on Feminism as a political movement for those who may not know...
In Western culture there are three main timeframes of Feminism :
The first was Victorian/Edwardian/20's.
It's beginning is usually marked with Sojourner Truth's famous Ain't I Woman? speech. It extends through obtaining the right for women to own and inherit property, and enter in to legal contracts. This period ended with women getting the right to vote in 1919. (There was early addressing of economic and reproductive rights at this time - but not much actual change regarding these occured during this first period).
The second period was the 60's and 70's.
Women's rights to control their reproductive destinies were addressed by feminists with the pursuit for access to birth control, abortions, and access to affordable pre-natal care (and to have female health/reproductive needs be covered by insurance companys). Legal protection/recourse regarding pay inequity, sexual harrassment in the work place and domestic violence were also addressed.
The third movement is 90's to now.
The Feminist movement is working on addressing forced prostitution, child prostitution, genital mutilation (aka female circumsion) and rape. This movement is starting to address the concerns of women outside of the Western World.
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However, philosophically, there are two main divisions that have existed within Feminism. (But both sub-groups remain united in addressing the aforementioned causes.)
With the first sub-group, the belief that the differences in the sexes are bioligically based, are acceptable, and need to be honored by equality with the differences respected.
The second sub-group believes that the differences in the genders are due to social conditioning and therefore need to be eliminated.
It is this second philosophical sub-group that has much social/relational impact on our culture.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
True, but read the Book of Pook to get a good idea of what anti-feminists are saying. Or better, Pook's blog: dapook.blogspot.com. His recent "Radicalism of Vilar" posts get quite nicely to the point.potato said:I grew up in the 70's when feminism was coming into its own. Mostly it was about setting women free from having to define themselves by the men in their lives. It was about birth control and pursuing careers. I really don't see it as a problem and certainly don't know what all the right wingers complain about all the time.
It takes a wimpy man to worry about competition from women.