"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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My fastest pickup ever

T

The Sperminator

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So I got a phone number in 10 seconds lol. I wasn't even trying. I held open a door for a girl and she was like oh thank you what a gentlemen I don't see that many anymore. Then I was like what can I say then she was like yeah just doing it for the ladies huh I was like yeah so can I get your number? She was like yeah sure. She actually gave it to me lol. Wasn't even trying to hit on her either.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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G

guywhoneedshelp

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Call her in a week. Tell her you've been busy holding doors open for cute girls.
 
H

horaholic

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r0cky said:
I bet you had to open both doors cuz fattie couldnt fit thru only one!!1 bahaha
JK nice work.
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Holy shyt that was funny. Seriously, nice one though. How DOES she rate on the ol' HB scale? And, was that her real number? What now?
 
D

daygameguy

Master Don Juan
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The Sperminator said:
So I got a phone number in 10 seconds lol. I wasn't even trying. I held open a door for a girl and she was like oh thank you what a gentlemen I don't see that many anymore. Then I was like what can I say then she was like yeah just doing it for the ladies huh I was like yeah so can I get your number? She was like yeah sure. She actually gave it to me lol. Wasn't even trying to hit on her either.
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Bravo. You broke the 15 sec KTTVIP record. :cheer:
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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T

The Sperminator

Senior Don Juan
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She was alright like a 6 maybe 7. I probably won't call but it was too easy for me not to ask for her number she did all the work herself lol. I'm pretty sure it was because she was really flirty with me and was smiling a lot when I asked for her number.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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