My "ex" wants to talk. How should I handle this??

[Rebound Material]

Ok, so my previous thread led to this. If you havent glanced at it yet:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=101761

its a bit long and sounds alot like venting(which it is), but it may help out with this thread.

Ok, so according to a very good friend of mine, my "ex" wants to have a gripe session with me. Thing is, she wants my friend there. I'll admit that I have some sh!t to say and Im concerned that i may not be able to express them properly with my friend being there listening. I'll also have to sadly admit that I still do have a bit of a thing for her. Afterall, I was the dropped nice guy. I was the one given the lower hand. Whats this chicks problem? She dropped me, lost feelings first and we're both talking to other people, but when she see's me with another chick getting all sweet she goes and trips the fcuk out...She claims she's not jealous or anything, but hell, theres a root to her drama right?? If anything, she's the one that shouldnt give a fcuk if I see other people...

So, how should I handle this?? I know for sure that Im not gonna AFC this sh!t and give ANY power to this damn breezy...I also want to stay as cool as possible...

Any tips? What kind of subjects to bring up? Arguments?? How would a DJ handle this???

 

[KarmaSutra]

Talk to her from behind with her head in a pillow and her butt high in the air.

That's all there is to talk about.

 

[Rebound Material]

Talk to her from behind with her head in a pillow and her butt high in the air.

That's all there is to talk about.

SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.

 

[KontrollerX]

"How would a DJ handle this?"

Unless she wants to talk about becoming your fvck buddy for times when you need one or an extra for threesomes or comes crawling back wanting to be your girlfriend again a DJ would have nothing to say to this broad.

He would move on.

Oh and for the crawling back thing you would have to take the power by saying she could only be your girlfriend again on your terms.

A few of them I would set would be...

1. If you ever pull some break up sh!t with me again its over for good.
2. Sex (fill in how much and how often and what days you'd want it here).
3. Rest of the terms are up to you to figure out I'm just giving you an idea.

Anyway the thing is you seem to have the power over her right now because she flips out over you with other chicks and she's demanding you two talk.

Hell make any talking session on your terms ie maybe have her buy you dinner somewhere first before you go and have a talk with her away from people where you two would make a scene if an argument gets too heated lol. Basically something that makes her work for your time is what I'm getting at.

 

[Rebound Material]

"How would a DJ handle this?"

Unless she wants to talk about becoming your fvck buddy for times when you need one or an extra for threesomes or comes crawling back wanting to be your girlfriend again a DJ would have nothing to say to this broad.

He would move on.

Oh and for the crawling back thing you would have to take the power by saying she could only be your girlfriend again on your terms.

A few of them I would set would be...

1. If you ever pull some break up sh!t with me again its over for good.
2. Sex (fill in how much and how often and what days you'd want it here).
3. Rest of the terms are up to you to figure out I'm just giving you an idea.

Anyway the thing is you seem to have the power over her right now because she flips out over you with other chicks and she's demanding you two talk.

Hell make any talking session on your terms ie maybe have her buy you dinner somewhere first before you go and have a talk with her away from people where you two would make a scene if an argument gets too heated lol. Basically something that makes her work for your time is what I'm getting at.

Lovin the mentality my friend. But theres still one factor standing in my way from telling her what I mean to say and thats our mutual friend who will be there. I seriously don't know what there is to talk about because in my opinion theres NOTHING to talk about. People have been been telling me that she may come crawling back and would ask me for a second chance, but I just don't want false hopes seeping into my head. Its gonna kill my DJism and dissapointment is nothing I need right now. But again, thanks for the reply. Your ideas will be kept in mind.

 

[flexion_]

Time is the best healer. I'd wouldn't meet with her - especially if you still have an interest in her. That would be like going to the grocery store still hungry - you'll buy a whole wack of crap that isn't good for you.

Its not going to do anything productive. Someday you could turn her into an FB but wait until you don't care about her anymore for that...

 

[Rebound Material]

Time is the best healer. I'd wouldn't meet with her - especially if you still have an interest in her. That would be like going to the grocery store still hungry - you'll buy a whole wack of crap that isn't good for you.

Its not going to do anything productive. Someday you could turn her into an FB but wait until you don't care about her anymore for that...

True, true...but what the hell do you think she wants to discuss?? If anything, this discussion just might bring us both closure. But yea, I dont know what to expect.

 

[Desdinova]

I seriously don't know what there is to talk about because in my opinion theres NOTHING to talk about.

There isn't anything to talk about. All the talking should have taken place before or during the breakup. She's now your ex, and is no longer involved in your life. The talking stage is done, and you're moving on. Any more talking is a waste of time.

Tell her you have better things to do than talk to people who aren no longer part of your life.

 

[djbr]

Some girls just want you back cause you're having success with other girls. The minute they take you away from them, they leave you again.

I see it all the time. I have a friend who is a chick magnet but AFC to hell. He has his LOVED ONE ultra-ONEITIS and stuff. She leaves him for some jerk and he starts to get female attention. THE MINUTE SHE NOTICES IT she comes back to him FAST and he gets all happy cause "oh man I love her!"

Beware.

 

[Rebound Material]

Some girls just want you back cause you're having success with other girls. The minute they take you away from them, they leave you again.

I see it all the time. I have a friend who is a chick magnet but AFC to hell. He has his LOVED ONE ultra-ONEITIS and stuff. She leaves him for some jerk and he starts to get female attention. THE MINUTE SHE NOTICES IT she comes back to him FAST and he gets all happy cause "oh man I love her!"

Beware.

If thats gonna be the case, how do I DJly let her know that Im not gonna take any BS??

 

[Rebound Material]

Some girls just want you back cause you're having success with other girls. The minute they take you away from them, they leave you again.

I see it all the time. I have a friend who is a chick magnet but AFC to hell. He has his LOVED ONE ultra-ONEITIS and stuff. She leaves him for some jerk and he starts to get female attention. THE MINUTE SHE NOTICES IT she comes back to him FAST and he gets all happy cause "oh man I love her!"

Beware.

Ridiculous right??? I think thats the only reason as to why she was interested in me in the first place was cuz her friend liked me.

 

[Rata Blanca]

F*ck that.
You are the MAN here.
You choose who is in the talk and who isn't.
Your mutual "friend" doesn't belong to that "talk". No argument here.
Dont go to the talk. Let the talk come to you...
Test her. Tell her that if she wants your time she hard to work harder...tell her to cook you something so she can convince you...

Note: The fact that she wants to talk shouldn't matter this much to you...

 

[brucevangeorge]

Don't talk, Fvck.

 

[jack knife]

True, true...but what the hell do you think she wants to discuss?? If anything, this discussion just might bring us both closure. But yea, I dont know what to expect.

My philosophy is that ex's are a waste of time. So my response would be, who cares? Now that you are no longer in a relationship with her, you have no obligation to listen to her b¡tch at you.

Furthermore, her friend being there is complete bull****. This is between you and her, and not her friend. Just flat out say no to them. Take control of the situation by making your ex compromise to suit your needs.

 

[Rebound Material]

My philosophy is that ex's are a waste of time. So my response would be, who cares? Now that you are no longer in a relationship with her, you have no obligation to listen to her b¡tch at you.

Furthermore, her friend being there is complete bull****. This is between you and her, and not her friend. Just flat out say no to them. Take control of the situation by making your ex compromise to suit your needs.

I was thinking of either calling her or texting her tonight or tommorow regarding this "talk". I was gonna tell her that if she wants to talk to me, I want it to be one on one and Im calling the meeting place cuz I refuse to drive 30+ miles to see HER. Yea, she has to see me this time. Should I call/text? Or should I have our friend tell her? I really don't like using our mutual friend as a median and I feel that he shouldnt even be involved in this mess.

 

[DJjazzyJeff]

How about not talking to her at all? What would be the point? You should ask her before ever having the talk.

 

[d9930380]

Listen to the people on the board. It's over, the only reason she wants you back is jealousy, she doesn't like the fact you have moved on. She wants to see you suffer. If you're really broken up and can't move on then that gives her an ego boost. She wants to move on before you.

Also closure comes over time, not over a conversation. I did that to "get over" some girl, it just left a bad taste in my mouth and after a few days I really regretted it.

She has no rights when it comes to your life, there is no reason to speak to her again. You don't need her as a friend.

Ignore her and move on. If you want to **** with her head that will do it more than anything else. Quickly she will become like a stalker and you will lose respect, helping you to move on and that will also be funny. ;-)

 

[d9930380]

BTW - If you where the nice guy, she probably thought that she "owned" you, so it's also a teritorial thing too.

 

[KontrollerX]

Disregard my earlier advice.

d9930380's is better.

 

[Rebound Material]

BTW - If you where the nice guy, she probably thought that she "owned" you, so it's also a teritorial thing too.

True that, and also to your previous post. But the reason I wanna have this talk too was to tell her off. I know i know I don't have to and its not neccessary, but other than just being seen with other chicks and making HER suffer, I want the opportunity to have her accuse me of intentionally making her jealous thus making me lash at her. That isnt very DJ...well, at all. And also, if she does try to get back with me I want the sweet feeling of letting her down or give her a hard time about it(I want some pvssy). I wanna make her cry. Is that OK?

btw: she agreed with a one on one with me already, and its supposed to happen tonight...