"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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My current friend with benefits

M

MacAvoy

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Your right I'm not. But your looking at it totally wrong. Your looking at it with your "my heart just got tramped on" glasses. My point is this, he's 22 years old, how many relationships do you have before people get married these days? Many!

Realistically there too young to make a life long committment. That doesn't mean that they can't make medium term committments. If you read his post, he's willing to make a committment to her if he moves in.

Sure he may eventually get bored, in fact I'm willing to bet they will. However because its doomed for failure, does that mean, that they shouldn't enjoy each other in the meantime?

Everything in life doesn't have to be about finding that "one". Why can't people just enjoy each other's company, be there for each other, then move on with their lives.

edit: for the record, he never said he has NO feelings for her, he simply said he doesn't feel that spark.

edit2: IMO he's already made up his mind, he's just posting here to sound out his reasoning and to pick up on things to watch out for. We're not going to convince him either way. He's a very intelligent man when it comes to women.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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S

SunnyD

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That's fine, but that's assuming that she has the same mindset...and I can ASSURE, that she does not.
 
M

MacAvoy

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I assure you that she doesn't either. But his role in life is not to protect her, his role in life is to LIVE HIS LIFE. However what you have to keep in mind, is that she never asked for some big committment from him, she merely asked him to move in.

If at the end of the day, she ends up with a broken heart, he didn't do anything wrong, he didn't lead her on. He never said he would do something he wasn't willing to.

More importantly your talking like a broken heart is the end of the world and something to be avoided at all costs. I've had my heart broken many times and you know what, it was one helluva ride before it got broke so I'd do it all over again knowing that my heart was going to be broke, becuase thats LIVING LIFE.

I don't live in a glass house. I'm not afraid of getting my heart broke or breaking others. There was a time when I had a complex about breaking hearts but I've since learnt that its a worthwhile part of life and growing.
 
S

SunnyD

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MacAvoy said:
I assure you that she doesn't either. But his role in life is not to protect her, his role in life is to LIVE HIS LIFE. However what you have to keep in mind, is that she never asked for some big committment from him, she merely asked him to move in.

If at the end of the day, she ends up with a broken heart, he didn't do anything wrong, he didn't lead her on. He never said he would do something he wasn't willing to.

More importantly your talking like a broken heart is the end of the world and something to be avoided at all costs. I've had my heart broken many times and you know what, it was one helluva ride before it got broke so I'd do it all over again knowing that my heart was going to be broke, becuase thats LIVING LIFE.

I don't live in a glass house. I'm not afraid of getting my heart broke or breaking others. There was a time when I had a complex about breaking hearts but I've since learnt that its a worthwhile part of life and growing.
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No but if he is getting into a relationship with her, his role in life IS to protect her and to respect her. Moving in together is the closest step to marriage. Not saying they're going to get married, obviously it's clear here they will not. But while she is not asking a relationship of him...she assumes that asking him to move in basically IS. If he agrees to it, and agrees to be exclusive...what's that telling her??? Yeah he's thinking "whatever, I can get out when I want...I'm just having fun for now..."

WOMEN don't think that way!!! She is not thinking that and he knows this. Yes he is doing something wrong, if he is moving in with her with different intentions.

And broken hearts may not be the end of the world...we live and learn. But it's pretty damn sh^tty and can take years to get over, and also shapes us for our next relationships, causes us to put up walls, think bad things of all people, and pretty much causes us never to trust again.

Yeah broken hearts blah blah blah...but if it can be avoided, and he has any ounce of respect for her...then AVOID IT.
 
D

DonGorgon

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SunnyD said:
"Play house" for awhile? Get in a relationship just for sh*ts and giggles? Even though he has FLATLY said he has no feelings for her??? Wtf is the point? Why string her along like that and make her believe it's something serious, come on lets be real...moving in with someone is a big move...why allow her to fall in love, then inevitably get badly burned when the time comes he finds that special person and leaves her cold?? Or cheats on her..while she is led to believe that this is the real thing just so he can get steady a$$...

Come on MacAvoy...I know you're not THAT cold.
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Women do that to AFC men all the time... So why should he not do it to her?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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G

Gangster Of Love

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thedeparted said:
I see a fvck-fiance in your future, with some little fvck-babies on their way...
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and most likely fvcked up babies.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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