"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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my crushes birthday party (tips please!)

CribMaster345

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ok, my crushes birthday party is this friday & she invited me to go & i'm scared as hell cuz she got a DJ & there's gonna be lots of dancing & i can't dance at all & don't really like dancing. plus, the only ppl that are going to this dance r like these real popular kids (i'm not real popular) & like ghetto kids n **** in our school, like i think around 70 ppl in total in this girls house & **** i just don't know wtf to do. she has a bf & everything & i'm sure he's gonna be there, & the only reason i got invited is cuz i told this girl i really liked her & **** & have been talkin to her online a lot & ..yeah, but she already asked me in school if i liked dancing & i'm like nah not really w/e but should i just pick up my balls & get out there & dance? but i can't dance at all like, i don't know the first thing bout dancing, & that's not even the part i'm concerned about, the thing i'm most concerned about is the ppl there cuz like they all think i'm ****in wack & **** & shouldn't be there & i've already been questioned in the hall one kid was like wtf y did u invite him, so like ..wtf?!?! what should i do & how should i act in this party. man do i wish it was jus me goin to her house alone instead of all these fags, ahh i;m scared ****less tell me what to do everybody!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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jiza101

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ONE WORD, BALLS
Get some ****ing balls... Who gives a **** if some guy thinks hes top ****.. Act ureself and interact with everyone, if they tell u to get ****ed just walk away and laugh. As for dancing, watch everyone else and do what they do, or u can act like a retard which some chicks like and just dance like ure on ecstacy and wave ure arms around and ****. But seriously grow some balls and stop worrying, just show ure confident and couldnt give a rats arse about what this ****s think.. If any of the ****s start a fight with u, dont retaliate, chicks will love this.. They will feal sorry for u = good, unless ovcourse your a big **** and can take them which by the sounds of it you arnt. So yer go and enjoy ureself dont be so self conscious, act confident and interact with everyone, u might make some new friends
Oh yer, i sugest u lose ure crush on her if she has a b/f..
Dont fall into her friend zone, if u want her, its to hard to get out off. So just go under the radar till she breaks up with him.
 

Rad

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Put on some 80s metal and get psyched.

When you enter the party give off the "here I am...rock you like a hurricane" aura.

Start spitting some Run DMC and N.W.A rhymes if you want to combat the ghetto kids. There 50 cent and Nelly rhymes will definantly fall.

Dancing is easy. Just move your feet to the sound of the beat. The preppy kids may start to get jealous because you have came on to there secret.

If that is to complicated, then don't worry about what the others think. You just go and rock them like a hurricane
 

California Love

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learn to c-walk. Its easy as hell and looks awesome cuz not many ppl do it. Otherwise, just watch some music vids. It doesnt really matter what you do as long as you move on the beat.
 

KbTo

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go to that party and dance, if you make an ass of yourself,it won't matter because latter on it will be an xperience to tell and to learn.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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CribMaster345

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what's c-walking & by the way i can't dance at all so i'd def make an ass of myself, & i'm still ****ting here thinking about it i can't believe it's in like 3 days now, any other tips?
 

CribMaster345

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yo i downloaded rock you like a hurricane Rad lol ..oh by the way what do i get this girl for her birthday guys?
 

Vigilante7

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Do not c walk u fagget

C Walk is a gang banging walk...its meant for GANGBANGERS

yall are white so that automatically makes u suburb-trash...do not c walk.........
 

AFK Protector

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lmao....this reminds me of my grade school graduation. Everyone was dancing...I was getting drunk off soda. Then this girl sat down by herself looking all sad. Being full of soda, I thought, "the hell with it." We talked, and danced a few slow dances. Dunno about you, this **** sounds pretty rowdy.
 

oakraiderz2

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Listen here guy, you seriously need to stop obsessing over this girl. Youre to the point where it seems like you wanna stalk her. Just chill and look at you other options. Anyway, just go to the party and have a good time, thats all thats really important. Dont let her actions control if you have fun or not.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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AFK Protector

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oh, btw. She's got a BF. Man, I liked this girl for 3 YEARS!!! Didn't make a move...now she's got a BF. I backed off, she came on, I pushed away. See, she was either playing with me, or wanted to set me up for an ass kickin.

her: hey
me: hey
her: what's up? bored?
me: nah, I'm just chillin.
her: hmm, wanna chill at my place? ::wink::
me: well, give me a good reason.
her: you know ::winks::
me: .....what will your BF say.
her: it'll be fine.
me: I respect relationships. go find another desperate chump. cya.
her: you're a ****ing loser.
me: ::walks away::

see....**** like that happens all the time. ****ing stuck up *****es. meh, I would probably be paralyzed or something if I DID sleep wiht her. Ok, i REALLY wanna get flamed for my convo with that chick. As for you, my friend, you gotta realize something. What do you have to offer her that her current BF doesn't? Post it and I'm sure some DJs will help you. Good luck.
 

DirkPitt

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Can we ban the word "Crush" from the sosuave website from here on out?

Anyone else agree that the word "Crush" is a weak pathetic little word with one-itis connotations?
 

Porky

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Originally posted by DirkPitt
Can we ban the word "Crush" from the sosuave website from here on out?

Anyone else agree that the word "Crush" is a weak pathetic little word with one-itis connotations?
Absolutely agree.
 

CribMaster345

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sry i just thought "the girl i really likes birthday party" was too long for a title

anybody else got anything to say?
 

DirkPitt

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How about

"I Can't Dance"
or
"If I can't dance, no one will like me"
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Bombshell

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If you go to the party with that mentallity then you shouldnt even bother to go because you wont have a good time. It really doesnt matter if you can't dance. There is no right way to do it, just move your whole body to the beat and make good use of your feet/legs. A girl wont not want to dance with you just because you dont know how and it will probably even make them want to dance with you more. On how you should act, just be cool, mingle with everyone and be confident and funny if you can. If someone makes fun of you just ingore them or throw back some c/f. I would also suggest that you get rid of your crush and forget about this girl. She more than likely only likes you as a friend and you will probably just get into more **** with her b/f and other guy friends trying to make attempts to get with her which wont happen anyway. Instead you should focus on making friends with some of these people (except the ghetto fags unless your into that kinda thing.) I would suggest friends first then focus on the chicks. You really need to get your game improved before you scar yourself with another "crush".
 
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