"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Read more...

My botched bookstore approach

harpomarx

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So this girl I see at the bookstore this afternoon... we're both by ourselves and we walk by each other so many times it's almost comical. For some reason I can't convince myself to talk to her until she finally comes and stands right next to me in the aisle and looks over, at which point it would've been unforgivable not to, so...

Me: Haven't found anything yet?
Her (smiles): No. There's a novel I'm looking for, but they don't have it...
Me: Oh, what is it?
Her: (some unpronounceable title by a foreign author)
Me: Oh... uh, don't know it...

And the conversation dies.

Sigh... just when I thought I was making some progress, a situation like this comes along when (a) I don't have the balls until I'm practically forced into it and (b) I manage to screw it up anyway. I guess my few other approaches have all been more direct, without having to lead much of a conversation beforehand. Still, an almost perfect scenario that I threw away. Frustrating...
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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2Pac_Makaveli_1

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Man, all I can say is at least you are taking action, you may have failed this time, but it will all come with experience, seriously.

Think of it like taking driving lessons, you balls up a lot on the first couple, but with a lot of practice makes perfect. At least you had the cojones to start a conversation and respect to you for making it up on the spot. Thats what its all about.

Keep us posted on any further approaches my friend.

Keep trying, do not give up.
 

Bryce556

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ive been having this problem aswell, once i engage conversation it just dies. and i have no idea what to transition to, for cold approching that is, when i have ladies approach me or we are at a party or mutual friends i have no porblem buliding attraction
 

daygameguy

Master Don Juan
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If this is your first cold day time approach, then you didn't do THAT bad. Its a start. Keep practicing.
 

Sir Shinra

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That wasn't a cold approach. It seems obvious from her behavior that she wanted to talk to the OP. She approached him.

Why didn't you just ask her name or something? At least you can hit the reset button that way.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

spread_love

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harpomarx said:
So this girl I see at the bookstore this afternoon... we're both by ourselves and we walk by each other so many times it's almost comical. For some reason I can't convince myself to talk to her until she finally comes and stands right next to me in the aisle and looks over, at which point it would've been unforgivable not to, so...

Me: Haven't found anything yet?
Her (smiles): No. There's a novel I'm looking for, but they don't have it...
Me: Oh, what is it?
Her: (some unpronounceable title by a foreign author)
Me: Oh... uh, don't know it...

And the conversation dies.

Sigh... just when I thought I was making some progress, a situation like this comes along when (a) I don't have the balls until I'm practically forced into it and (b) I manage to screw it up anyway. I guess my few other approaches have all been more direct, without having to lead much of a conversation beforehand. Still, an almost perfect scenario that I threw away. Frustrating...
Correction...you DID have the balls, she came over and you opted to start a conversation, you could have mentioned some other novels, or thought of some funny ones that you have read.

I wouldn't say you screwed up, you didn't keep the convo going or get her number, but you talked with her, when she approached you, so pat yourself on the back for a job well done and remember she might come back to that bookstore. :up:
 
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