"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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My botched bookstore approach

harpomarx

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So this girl I see at the bookstore this afternoon... we're both by ourselves and we walk by each other so many times it's almost comical. For some reason I can't convince myself to talk to her until she finally comes and stands right next to me in the aisle and looks over, at which point it would've been unforgivable not to, so...

Me: Haven't found anything yet?
Her (smiles): No. There's a novel I'm looking for, but they don't have it...
Me: Oh, what is it?
Her: (some unpronounceable title by a foreign author)
Me: Oh... uh, don't know it...

And the conversation dies.

Sigh... just when I thought I was making some progress, a situation like this comes along when (a) I don't have the balls until I'm practically forced into it and (b) I manage to screw it up anyway. I guess my few other approaches have all been more direct, without having to lead much of a conversation beforehand. Still, an almost perfect scenario that I threw away. Frustrating...
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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2Pac_Makaveli_1

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Man, all I can say is at least you are taking action, you may have failed this time, but it will all come with experience, seriously.

Think of it like taking driving lessons, you balls up a lot on the first couple, but with a lot of practice makes perfect. At least you had the cojones to start a conversation and respect to you for making it up on the spot. Thats what its all about.

Keep us posted on any further approaches my friend.

Keep trying, do not give up.
 

Bryce556

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ive been having this problem aswell, once i engage conversation it just dies. and i have no idea what to transition to, for cold approching that is, when i have ladies approach me or we are at a party or mutual friends i have no porblem buliding attraction
 

daygameguy

Master Don Juan
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If this is your first cold day time approach, then you didn't do THAT bad. Its a start. Keep practicing.
 

Sir Shinra

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That wasn't a cold approach. It seems obvious from her behavior that she wanted to talk to the OP. She approached him.

Why didn't you just ask her name or something? At least you can hit the reset button that way.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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spread_love

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harpomarx said:
So this girl I see at the bookstore this afternoon... we're both by ourselves and we walk by each other so many times it's almost comical. For some reason I can't convince myself to talk to her until she finally comes and stands right next to me in the aisle and looks over, at which point it would've been unforgivable not to, so...

Me: Haven't found anything yet?
Her (smiles): No. There's a novel I'm looking for, but they don't have it...
Me: Oh, what is it?
Her: (some unpronounceable title by a foreign author)
Me: Oh... uh, don't know it...

And the conversation dies.

Sigh... just when I thought I was making some progress, a situation like this comes along when (a) I don't have the balls until I'm practically forced into it and (b) I manage to screw it up anyway. I guess my few other approaches have all been more direct, without having to lead much of a conversation beforehand. Still, an almost perfect scenario that I threw away. Frustrating...
Correction...you DID have the balls, she came over and you opted to start a conversation, you could have mentioned some other novels, or thought of some funny ones that you have read.

I wouldn't say you screwed up, you didn't keep the convo going or get her number, but you talked with her, when she approached you, so pat yourself on the back for a job well done and remember she might come back to that bookstore. :up:
 
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