"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

My Boss did not accept LinkedIn Request

Reyaj

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 19, 2002
Messages
3,221
Reaction score
378
Age
48
Location
Northern CALI USA
I need your opinion on this for those who are in the workforce.....

I sent my boss a LinkedIn request several months ago... it looks like he never accepted it. Yet he accepted other people in my department, even people that don't work directly for him!

Would you confront him about it if you were me? If he doesn't like me and is plotting to let me go I want to know ahead of time.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

joverby

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 12, 2011
Messages
599
Reaction score
9
Wow, man. That's extremley insecure. That's something a little kid would complain about. "Why don't you wanna be my friend!?!?"

Why would you want to be involved with social networking with a boss anyway? Why do you think just because he/she doesn't want to be associated outside the work place that he/she will fire you?

He/she could think you are perfectly fine in the workplace but just doesn't want to be your friend outside of work. He/she's not obligated to do anything outside of work for you.

What are you going to say? Why didn't you accept my request, do you want to fire me or something?

What are you hoping to acheive by "confronting" your boss? You can't control him/her, they are their own person. Quit being so insecure.
 

Reyaj

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 19, 2002
Messages
3,221
Reaction score
378
Age
48
Location
Northern CALI USA
joverby said:
Wow, man. That's extremley insecure. That's something a little kid would complain about. "Why don't you wanna be my friend!?!?"

Why would you want to be involved with social networking with a boss anyway? Why do you think just because he/she doesn't want to be associated outside the work place that he/she will fire you?

He/she could think you are perfectly fine in the workplace but just doesn't want to be your friend outside of work. He/she's not obligated to do anything outside of work for you.

What are you going to say? Why didn't you accept my request, do you want to fire me or something?

What are you hoping to acheive by "confronting" your boss? You can't control him/her, they are their own person. Quit being so insecure.

I agree with the principle of what you are saying. But we are talking about LinkedIN here, not Facebook or MySpace. LinkedIn is specifcally focused on people you work with. That is why I asked for people who work professionally to comment.

The fact that he accepted my co-workers and other people in the company makes me a little concerned...
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,412
Reaction score
5,176
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
Bosses have their favorites. But that doesn't mean you're in danger of getting canned.

My former boss showed massive favortism. I was rarely if ever selected for trips to conferences, promotions, etc. But, I was invaluable to him and he knew it. So while he didn't love me, he had no plans to ever get rid of me.

This is going to sound like a lecture, but I don't mean it that way. Just focus on your work. Get your stuff done on time and get great reviews. That way, while your boss might not want to have a beer with you, he won't want to get rid of you.

Forget about the boss on your Linkedin. You don't want him on there anyway in case you want to network for another job.

I would just chalk it up to favortism, not take it personally, and let it go.

(I wouldn't have friend requested the boss to begin with.)
 

Strelok

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 20, 2010
Messages
916
Reaction score
44
Maybe the reason he didnt add you is because through that network he is "friend" of other companies who could find you usell and he simply doesnt want you to be aware of the existence of those companies and the salaries they grant to their employee.

Its remotely this case but yet it could still be, or he didnt recognize you.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

joverby

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 12, 2011
Messages
599
Reaction score
9
Reyaj said:
I agree with the principle of what you are saying. But we are talking about LinkedIN here, not Facebook or MySpace. LinkedIn is specifcally focused on people you work with. That is why I asked for people who work professionally to comment.

The fact that he accepted my co-workers and other people in the company makes me a little concerned...
I do work in a professional environment.(Believe it or not that website isn't required for success) I've just made similar insecure confrontations with an EX-GF in the past.

Doesn't matter if you're going to confront over facebook or whatever social networking, it's still an insecure confrontation that won't achieve anything positive.

Just keep doing your best at work and don't worry about. Not sure why you'd want your boss anyway, if it's for work place networking...You already work for him right? So you see him 5 days a week?
 
Top